


No More Running

by Artemis1414



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Action/Adventure, F/M, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-01
Updated: 2015-02-03
Packaged: 2018-02-11 08:48:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 58,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2061675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Artemis1414/pseuds/Artemis1414
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Natasha is back in New York to join her friends at the new Avengers Towers, Steve is happy to have his partner back in the game. The Avengers go on a mission against HYDRA and Natasha finds something that Steve was looking for. Set after Captain America:The Winter Soldier.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Unexpected Return

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!
> 
> I got inspired to write this story after watching Captain America: The Winter Soldier, what a great movie! I loved the chemistry between Steve and Natasha, so I plan on exploring that. There is going to be some action on the story too, so keep calm, I´ll uptade as soon as I can!
> 
> English is not my first language so forgive me if there are any mistakes in my writing. I just hope it doesn´t take the fun out of the story! And if you guys want to correct anything, feel free to do it.
> 
> I don´t own any of the avengers or any marvel characters.

Steve Rogers is sitting on the edge of his bed, staring out the widow. His big suite that Tony Stark had designed for him on the Avengers Tower is still dark. He is awake for a couple of hours, thinking about the bad dream he had…again…about Bucky. It had been almost one year since the incident with the Winter Soldier. Steve tried tracking him down, between missions, with no success. He thinks that maybe, if Natasha or even Barton were here, they could help him but they both had to disappear after what happened to S.H.I.E.L.D.

Then, Steve's thoughts linger on Natasha. He looks at his nightstand and opens the top drawer. He stares at a key chain with a big white star on it, and remembers her words on the note: "It remind me of you. Nat." It was the first of many trinkets Natasha had sent to him. She sends them now and then and when he receives one, it is the only time he is a little relieved, knowing that she is alive. The others came without a note, but he knew it was from her because all of them had a white star on it somewhere. His favorite was a wooden music box. It has a moon and white stars painted all over the lid. He picks it up and opens it, it plays Clar de Lune and he remembers hearing it once or twice when he was on Europe long time ago. And now every time he hears it, it makes him think of her. He misses her. They had become partners and friends, he trusted her with his life. He knew she had to be careful, to not be found, but sometimes he wishes she would give him just a hint of where she was so that he could go to her, or maybe say when she was going to return to New York so that he could stop looking for her in every corner of the city, like she was going to show up out of nowhere. He looks back at the window and sees the sun rising. Putting the music box back in the drawer, he decides it´s time to clear his head with a morning run, so he changes into his running outfit and leaves his room to grab a bite in the kitchen.

* * *

Steve finishes his breakfast alone, it´s 6:30. Tony, Bruce and Thor are never awake this early, unless they have a mission or something. So he cleans his dishes, goes to the elevator and pushes the lobby button hearing Jarvis greets him: "Good morning Captain."

"Good morning Jarvis." Steve answers back the A.I. despite the fact that he finds that talking to a computer is a little strange, since they didn't have that 70 years ago. He also thinks it is creepy, because it reminds him of his encounter with Dr. Zola inside the Bunker in Camp Leigh.

At the lobby, Steve is walking toward the front door looking at his watch to start the chronometer, as he hears Jarvis say: "Welcome back, Miss Romanoff."

Steve immediately looks up, the front door is open and Natasha is standing there."It´s good to be back Jarvis" she replies to Jarvis.

Steve stops and stares at her, not believing his eyes as she walks toward him with a smile on her face, her red locks brushing on her shoulders. His heart almost stopped, he was so glad that this time his wishes were granted and the beautiful redhead spy was standing in front of him.

Natasha stops in front of the tall soldier, meeting his eyes as she says: "Hey Cap, going for a little run? I would go with you, but I am a little tired of running."

Steve laughs and can´t resist the urge to hug her, so he throws his arms around her shoulders and replies: "It´s so good to see you, Natasha!"

Natasha lets go of the bags she is holding on each one of her hands and hugs him back, putting her arms around his waist and pressing her face lightly against his chest: "It´s good to see you too, Steve!" She feels so good in his strong embrace. She was used to being alone when she was under cover, it had been part of her training to never need anyone, but this time she had missed Steve Rogers, more than she is willing to admit to herself. That is part of the reason she kept sending him something every time she changed locations, because deep inside she wished she was returning to New York, to be near him.

Steve notices her bags on the floor as they hold each other. He realizes that she came here to stay with them and not on a mission, so he lets go of Natasha to take a good look at her, the smile still on his face as he says: "So, no more running for you! Let me help with your bags then."

Natasha almost forgot he is such a gentleman, and how perfect his smile is, so she smiles back at him, saying: "It´s okay Steve I got it, I don´t want to spoil your morning run."

"I insist!" Steve replies already taking the bags on his hands. "Besides, I can run later." He says turning to the elevator.

Natasha admires him for a moment, his muscles moving as he walks back to the elevator, and she thinks: " _I guess he can afford to miss one run, he´s still very fit, he looks so good…"_  she takes a deep breath but then shakes her head to get rid of that thought and follows him inside the elevator.

Steve asks Jarvis to take them to Natasha's floor and Natasha says playfully: "I see you're getting used to the modern world."

Steve glances at Natasha with a half-smile and answers: "Well, I'm trying."

When they arrive at her floor, Steve gets out of the elevator and turns right on the corridor, leading Natasha to her room saying: "This floor has been empty for some time, since it´s yours and Barton´s floor. Barton´s room is to the left. My room is one floor above with Thor´s room and Bruce and Tony´s rooms are one floor above us."

Natasha follows him to the door of her room, where he stops and says: "It has a biometric lock, needs your fingerprint so…"

Before Steve finishes his sentence , Natasha puts her thumb to the screen of the lock, it makes a beep and the door slides open. She enters the room and says: "Wow, this is bigger than some of the apartment I have stayed!"

The room is an open concept with high ceilings, it has a lounge area with modern furniture, a mini bar and a big LED TV, then a door to the right that leads to the closet and bathroom, then a king size bed next to a huge widow that goes around the corner with a beautiful view of New York city buildings around them.

"Is yours this big too?" Natasha asks as she touches the white couch.

Steve enters the room looking around: "Yes, but mine has darker color furniture and a blue wall behind the bed." Steve says as he notices her wall was a pale red.

"Of course, Captain America gotta have a white and blue room!" Natasha says looking back at him with a goofy smile on her face. Steve chuckles as Natasha turns around and walks toward the window saying: "I´m sure Stark has thrown on yours faces how generous he is."

Steve starts walking toward the bed: "Yes, a dozen of times at least."

Natasha stops at the widow admiring the view: "I´ve missed New York." She says almost to herself.

Steve, due to his with his super hearing ability hears that and replies as he puts her bags down next to the bed: "Yeah, it´s a great city. Much has changed since I was a kid, but I still love it."

Natasha remembers how Steve was stuck for 70 years on the ice, she felt bad for him, all the time and friends he had lost. She then asks: "Any luck with Bucky?"

Steve walks to stand beside her and stares out the window too: "No, Sam and I tried tracking him, but he is really hard to find, I guess he had training like you." He looks at her.

Natasha bites her lower lip and then turns to meets his eyes: "Now that I´m here, maybe I can help you, but you gotta know that even if we do find him, there is a big change he´ll not recognize you and we´ll have to fight him again."

Steve takes a deep breath and looks back out the window: "I know." He wants to find him because he knows that the Winter Soldier is not Bucky, his friend was brainwashed and he has to save him somehow, he owes him that much and Natasha may be the only person that can help him with that.

Steve's mind is playing back their encounter with Bucky on D.C., when the Winter Soldier almost killed Fury and shoot Natasha after chasing her on the street full of innocent people, and thinking about putting Natasha back in that kind of danger, not that she can´t handle it, but if something bad happened to her, he could never forgive himself. She was his friend too.

Natasha can see his jaw muscles tense as he puts his hands inside his pocket. "Steve…" she calls him and rests a hand on his arm.

Steve returns to reality when her hand touches him. He looks at her green eyes and says: "You just got back Natasha. I don´t want to put you trough this right now."

Her brown frowns as she knows immediately what he is thinking: "You know  **I**  can take care of myself! I offer my help because  **I**  want to help you!" She says that with emphasis on the I. "And this time we will be ready to face him if we have to!"

Steve almost forgot that she could read him so well just by looking at him. He presses his lips together and thinks: " _Will we? Will I be ready to face Bucky again?"_ , and then he says: "Thank you Natasha, but I have to think about it. Let´s talk about this later, okay."

Natasha gives him an intimidating look and is about to talk back when she hears footsteps, so she turns to the door of her room and Tony Stark is walking in.

"Hey, look who decided to show up! I hope I'm not interrupting anything." Tony says seeing the serious expression on their faces.

Right now Steve don't want to ruin the happiness he is felling by being near Natasha again with Bucky´s dilema, so he mentally thanks Tony for appearing. He takes his hands out of his pockets and turns to Tony: "No Tony, and even if you were, you would interrupt anyway. I thought you were sleeping."

Tony walks all the way to stand in front of them: "Nope, I was working on the lab, Jarvis alerted me that Miss Romanoff was in the building." He turns to Natasha and gives her a quick kiss on the cheek: "How are you doing redhead?"

Natasha is still mad at Steve for not letting her finish her argument, but being the spy that she is, she puts a playful smile on her lips and says looking at Tony: "I´m good, making myself at home at the Stark…no no…Avengers Tower! It´s all very you, I could see the flashy words on the building from inside the plane as I got here."

Steve chuckles at the comment.

Tony is enthusiastic about it: "I know, right! I thought since we are a team now, I would change the name so you can feel more welcome. How do you like your room, have you checked the bar?" He says as he walks to the minibar and grabs a bottle "I got some top notch vodka for you, being a Russian I'm sure you´ll like it! Wanna taste it?"

Natasha isn´t surprised that Tony wants to start drinking at 7:00 in the morning, so she grabs the bottle from his hands taking a look at it and recognizing the expensive brand, but she puts the bottle down on the counter of the bar: "That really is a good one, thanks, maybe later Stark. Why don´t you show me around the tower first?"

Tony gives her a smile: "My pleasure!" He is proud of everything he had done on the tower, so he is more than glad to make the tour with Natasha. "Let´s start with the training room. It occupies two entire floors on the tower and has all the best equipment and gadgets." He puts a hand to the side of his mouth, leans closer to her and says in a low voice: "It cost me a small fortune too!" And then he pulls back and raises his voice again: "But you know me, I love sharing my toys with my friends, that´s how generous I am!" He starts walking out of the room.

Natasha turns to Steve and shakes her head in disbelieve of how Tony hasn´t changed a bit. Steve just shrugs his shoulders and smiles at her. Then they follow Tony out of Natasha´s room.

 


	2. Avengers Tower

Natasha Romanoff is walking around the tower with Tony Stark on the lead, he is talking nonstop about every detail of what is now their headquarters, and Steve is silently following them. She is very impressed with the Avengers Tower, it is very high-tech and modern, Tony even showed her the security system which is flawless, he really thought of everything. Tony Stark is a genius without a doubt, but she´ll never admit that to him, he is already too full of himself to get more compliments. So she only looks around and keeps her calm expression on her face all the time.

After the tour is finished, Tony, Steve and Natasha go to the common area of the tower, where the team gather occasionally. This place has a spacious living/dining area integrated with a big kitchen to the left and, of course, a bar to the right, all with expensive furniture and decoration. Going straight ahead, through double glass doors there is a huge balcony. As they enter the common room, they notice Bruce and Thor having breakfast sitting on stools at the kitchen island.

Thor notices them approaching and stands up as he sees that Natasha is with them: "Lady Natasha, you are most welcome!"

Bruce, who has his back at them, turns around as he hears the blonde God greet Natasha.

Natasha smiles at Thor, it is funny to see him in ordinary clothes, but he still looks good, like a model from a magazine. She says: "Thank you Thor, how are things in Asgard?"

Thor smiles back and replies: "Everything is well. We are at peace with the realms again."

Bruce stands up too and walks to Natasha extending his hand to her: "How was your trip back?"

Natasha shakes hands with Bruce who has a timid smile on his face: "It was long, but no one tried to kill me so, it was good." Bruce smiles increases a little by her remark.

Steve then realizes that Natasha probably didn´t eat much, airplane food is not that good and she wouldn´t waist time in a public coffee shop and risk being recognized, so he walks from behind her towards the kitchen saying: "Speaking of which, you must be hungry Natasha, let me cook you something. How do pancakes sounds?"

Natasha was about to reply but gets interrupted by Tony: "Wow Capsicle, you never offered to cook me anything, I´m hurt!

Bruce looks at Tony and says: "That´s because you´re not a beautiful lady assassin." Then he makes his way back to his meal.

Thor chuckles at the comment: "Ha! Well said my friend!" and sits back down to finish his meal too.

Tony sits beside Bruce and adds: "Point taken, but you know I´m hungry and tired, I was working on the lab all night to make improvements on the tower, it would be a nice way to thank me for all my hard work and hospitality, after all…."

Steve interrupts Tony, knowing he would start bragging: "Sure Tony, I´ll make you some pancakes too, whatever it takes to shut you up." He takes the egg carton from the refrigerator then glares at Tony.

Tony looks at Steve and decides to tease him a little bit more: "Okay…not as nicely offered as you did to the redhead, but since I know you have a crush on the spy, I forgive you!"

Steve loses track of what he was going to do, stops in the middle of the kitchen and stares at Tony Stark, wanting to knock him out for saying that and leaving him defenseless. He feels his face burning.

Tony just smirks when he sees that the soldier is blushing.

Natasha tries not to smile seeing how embarrassed Steve is:  _"Does he really have a crush on me?"_  she thinks. Putting her poker face on, like she is not affected by that thought, she makes her way to the kitchen: "Hey Tony, if you don´t shut up, you´ll have eggs on your head instead of your pancakes!" She grabs the egg carton from Steve´s hands and says to him: "I´ll help you."

Steve tries to avoid eye contact with Natasha because he knows it would only make him blush harder and says: "Thanks." He quickly turns to the cabinet to grab a bowl and tries to occupy his head with making the pancakes and not making a fool of himself by trying to deny what Tony said, because he is a bad liar, as Natasha once said.

Bruce and Thor are a little surprised, it is obvious that Tony has pushed a nerve on Steve with that comment because he didn´t even talk back. For the first time, they realize that Steve has feelings for Natasha. Tony, Bruce and Thor exchange glances, but no one says a word on the subject again.

* * *

After a quiet breakfast, they are all on the living area, Steve and Natasha are sitting next to each other on the end of the big gray couch, Steve has his arm resting on the back of the couch where Natasha is leaning, and Bruce is on the other end with his legs crossed. Tony is sitting on a black armchair with his feet up on the coffee table and, across that, Thor is sitting lazily on the other armchair. They are discussing with Natasha their past missions, mostly minor jobs, but all trying to clean up HYDRA path of destruction and salvage at was left of S.H.I.E.L.D.

Tony then asks Natasha: "What about you redhead, what were you doing all this time? Hiding on a beach somewhere, having cocktails and watching the sunset?"

Natasha gives him a half-smile: "I wish, Stark! I have been following leads to gather intel on HIDRA ops and facilities. I have spent some time in South America but then the lead got cold, so I went to Europe, but things got too hot when some old friends tried to get to me." Steve gives Natasha a worried glance; he knows that she is talking about KGB. She quickly meets his gaze, then looks back to the center of the room. She doesn´t want to talk about KGB so she continues: "So Fury thought it would be better if I took some time off and visited my friends in New York."

Tony looks at her with disbelieve, takes his feet off the coffee table and sits up straight: "Wait, wait…Fury has been talking to you? Where the hell is he? We only get Hill to deliver the details of our missions, not that I`m complaining, she is much better to look at then Fury."

Everybody is looking expectantly at Natasha when she says: "We only communicated through messages or over the phone, so I don´t know where Fury is. It was better that I didn´t know so I didn´t ask."

Bruce looks at Tony: "And that is why he didn´t contact us, Tony would probably ask."

Tony looks at Bruce and with sarcasm, he replies: "Ha ha, you are all about jokes today huh Doc!"

Bruce grins back at him and looks at Natasha who has a little smile on her face too, she then continues to break the ice stare Tony is giving Bruce: "But I do know that Clint is working with him too, doing the same thing that I was doing, somewhere in Asia"

Steve, felling a little jealous, says: "So, Barton and you were working together?"

Natasha turns to Steve: "No, you misunderstood me, we were doing the same type of mission, but in different parts of the world, I haven´t seen him in a long time, but the last time I talked to Fury, he said Clint was making progress. He was investigating the whereabouts of a HYDRA secret armory. That´s all I know."

They were all silent for a moment, inside their heads. Tony can't stay inside his head for too long so he speaks: "Okay, enough about missions!" He looks at Thor: "Hey God of Thunder, have you talked to you dad about lending me the Tesseract?"

Thor just glares at Tony.

Steve put his hands to his face: "Jesus, not that again…"

Thor then replies: "No, I have not talked to my father about that matter, mostly because I am sure he would deny your request, as I have before."

Natasha looks surprised and confused about the question that Tony just made to Thor: "Stark, what the hell do you want the Tesseract for?"

Bruce fixes his glasses up his nose and answers: "He wants to use its energy to generate a force field around the Avengers Tower."

Natasha replies angrily: "Like it had done with the device that happened to open up a portal to space sending an army of Chiutari to kill us all. Are you crazy Stark!"

Tony stands up and starts walking around explaining: "No my dear spy, I´m not crazy, I´m a genius. You see, if we could isolate the energy from the Tesseract and direct its force mainly to the particles of the field it would be a great defense mechanism for the tower, we would be untouchable. They could blow up New York City with a nuke, and the Avengers Tower would be the only thing standing! How cool is that?"

Natasha narrows her eyes: "I don´t see how blowing up NYC with a nuke is cool."

Steve stares at Tony and says: "Me neither."

"Well, you guys get the point! Right, Bruce?" Tony looks at Bruce for support, since Thor, Natasha and Steve seems to be against him.

Bruce takes a deep breath knowing what Tony is asking him to do, but he can´t support him because after his collateral effects of experimenting on gamma radiation, he has been very careful with messing around with the unknown: "Well, it could work in theory, but the power of the Tesseract is still unpredictable, so I don´t think it is wise to experiment on it, sorry Tony." He looks at Tony who has a hurt expression on his face.

Thor replies looking at Bruce: "Exactly, thank you Dr. Banner." He then looks at Tony: "And if the Tesseract falls in wrong hands again, I would never forgive myself."

Tony throws his hands up in the air, admitting his defeat: "Ah, you guys just keep taking the fun away of everything. Never mind then, forget I asked. Let´s just turn on the TV and see what is in the news, how boring is that…"

So they drop that subject and relax as they watched TV together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am assuming that by now all the Avengers know that Fury is alive. But he is still hiding.   
> Next chapter the Avengers will receive a mission and I´ll add some Natasha/Steve moments alone. Bye!


	3. Nightmare

It is late night at the Avengers Tower when Natasha wakes up abruptly. She is sweating and breathing heavily. She realizes that her face is wet with tears. She angrily wipes them away from her face and gets up from her bed. She has had this same nightmare too often. She looks at the clock, 3:43 a.m. She won´t be able to sleep again, so she goes to the mini bar of her suite and grabs the bottle of vodka that Tony Stark had shown her before. She pours a shot in a short glass and drinks it all at once; thinking that maybe the burning sensation on her throat will make her forget what is haunting her. She takes another shot, and another…but the images of her dream are still coming to her mind. She hates felling like that, like she is still a cold heart monster that she once was so she just throws the glass against the opposite wall in an act of rage, shattering it. She starts to feel her eyes burning from the tears she is trying to hold back. She collapses on the couch behind her and stares blankly at the wall.

A few minutes later she hears a knock on her door: "Natasha, is everything okay? I heard glass breaking. Jarvis told me you are awake, let me in please!"

Natasha recognizes Steve´s voice and thinks  _"Damn his super hearing abilities. I can´t have him seeing me like this, I´m a mess"_. She replies with a trembling voice: "I´m fine Steve! Go back to bed." She curses herself with the way her voice sounds.

Steve senses that she is shaken so he tries again: "Natasha, please open the door, let me see you."

Natasha knows that if she let him in, he will try to comfort her and hold her, and with the way she has being feeling about him lately, is only going to make things worse, because she knows she won´t be able to keep her walls up for him for too long. He is affecting her in a way she thought she would never be affected. At first she felt attraction towards him, but after what happened on D.C., they got closer. He saved her life, said that he trusted her with his and it became more than that. It is like she is falling in love with him and that can´t be, the Black Widow doesn´t have emotions, she only uses them as weapons. She has red on her ledger, she is tainted, and now she is broken. Steve on the other hand is the image of righteousness, he is too good for her, he deserves better.

Steve interrupts her thoughts: "Natasha, come on, if you don´t let me in I´ll just have to break down your door!" He knocks harder, the door shakes a little.

Natasha realizes that she has no way out of this because when Steve Rogers puts his mind to do something he doesn´t stop until is done. She looks at her trembling hands, takes a deep breath and closes her eyes, trying to recover herself from the panic she is felling. She stands up and replies, this time her voice is steady: "Okay, just give me a sec!"

She goes to the closet and puts on a gray silk robe over her black tank top and panties, washes up her face on the bathroom sink and takes another deep breath to pull herself together. She goes to the door, opening it.

Steve is standing there, he is wearing a forest green army t-shirt and a black short. His body is tense, his hands curled up in fists and his blue eyes full of worry. She tries her best not to get lost in them and puts a fake smile on her face saying: "Hey Steve, I´m sorry for waking you up."

But without knowing she fails on her attempt to convince him that she is fine. Steve sees right past her mask because he notices that her eyes are red from crying, her face is pale and she smells like vodka. He hates seeing her like that; she seems lost just like she was when they took shelter on Sam Wilson´s house. He wants to help her, but she´ll have to put her defenses down so he raises one of his hands and rests it on the side of her face looking straight into her green eyes: "Don´t play games with me Natasha, tell me what is wrong?"

Natasha is a little surprised by his move and wonders if she has failed that miserably not to show her moment of weakness. His touch sends electricity through her body; she fights the urge to lean into his hand and backs away from it, stepping aside to let him pass.

Steve walks in her room, he sees the opened bottle of vodka on the bar and the broken glass on the other side spread on the floor.

Natasha follows his gaze and adds: "I didn´t think that a breaking glass would be so noisy." She closes the door.

Steve turns around to face her and says: "I´m a light sleeper." He extends his hand to her: "Come on, sit down with me." Steve notices that she hesitates to take his hand for a moment and when she does, he feels that her hand is shaking, so he tightens his grip on it.

And that was all it took for Natasha Romanoff, the Black Widow, to break down, Steve Roger´s tight grip on her hand. Her whole body starts to shake and she can´t control it, her walls crumble and it is like they were never there. She looks down as tears start to fall from her eyes and she feels her knees go weak, she is falling…

Steve moves quickly and puts his arms around her back, holding her from falling down, supporting all her weight on his body.

Natasha presses her head against his left shoulder and grabs the fabric of his t-shirt with her hands on his chest: "I saw her again" her voice is low and shaken.

Steve places a hand on her head caressing it, his fingers going through her red hair, and whispers: "Who did you see, Tasha?"

Natasha squeezes her eyes shut: "My mother, I remembered her, I see her in my dreams all the time. They ordered me to do it and…I…I…I killed her." She says the last words so low that Steve almost missed it. She starts to sob uncontrollably.

Steve´s heart breaks as he wonders:  _"Did she really do it or was it just a nightmare? What could have happened with her to remember that now? And who the hell would make someone kill their own mother?"_  Only one thought comes to his mind, KGB. _"Her encounter with them must have trigger some of her old memories."_

Natasha is leaning heavily against him now so he picks her up and carries her to the couch, sitting down with the sobbing spy on his lap, her arms now around his neck. He wishes he could take her pain away, but he doesn´t know how, so he just holds her tight and wait for her to calm down.

Natasha stops sobbing as soon as she feels that Steve tightens his hold on her. She opens her eyes, staring at his strong arm in front of her, and manages to say with a husky voice: "I´m sorry. I never lost control like this, I...I don´t know what is wrong with me…"

Steve removes his right arm from around her and takes her chin making her look up at him. He says softly: "There is nothing wrong with you Natasha. You are only human." He slides his hand from her chin to her cheek and then tucks a strand of her hair behind her ear. He admires her face, he sees how fragile she looks right now, but still beautiful.

Natasha tries to blink her tears away as she meets his honest eyes. He is right, she is human and she is not a killing machine, not anymore. She is amazed at how Steve always knows what to say, he always makes her feel better. She never had that with anyone, he understands her so well.

Steve stares intensely into her green eyes, he looks down at her lips and starts to lower his head but stops half-way. He wants to kiss her badly, but he doesn´t want to take advantage of her moment of weakness.

Natasha eyes are locked on his gaze, she feels the heat rising on her body and starts closing the rest of the space between them.

And right before their lips touch, the alarm goes off and they hear Jarvis: "Avengers assemble!"

They both back away, startle by the beeping sound and the command given by Jarvis. The A.I. continues: "Clint Barton is on video call."

And that was all it took to take Natasha out of Steve's arms. She stands up and asks with a mix of surprise and excitement in her voice: "Clint is calling?"

Steve rests his arms on his legs and looks at his feet. He feels jealous again because he doesn´t know exactly if Natasha and Barton are just close friends, or something more.

Jarvis answers: "Yes Miss Romanoff, he is requesting you to gather at the conference room immediately."

Natasha looks back at Steve. He feels that she is staring at him so he meets her eyes, he wants to ask her what is the deal with Barton, but duty calls, so he simply says: "Let´s go." He stands up and quickly walks out.

Natasha notices the hurt expression on his face, but Steve leaves before she can ask about it. So she just tries to clean her wet face with her hands, and follows him in silence.

* * *

**Conference Room**

Tony is the last one to come in, as usual, the rest of the Avengers are all sitting at a big gray hexagonal table, in their sleeping clothes, looking tired.

Tony breaks the silence as he enters the room: "Hey everyone. There is nothing like a quick nap to get me going." Tony rubs his eyes and continues: "Turn the video on Jarvis" then he sits down next to Bruce, who is looking blankly at the screen in front of them.

"Yes sir." Jarvis responds.

Clint Barton´s face appear in the screen, he smiles a little and says: "Hello Avengers! How did you sleep tonight?"

Thor yawns loudly and then apologizes for it.

Tony answers a little annoyed: "Not very long, thanks to you Legolas! But it is good to see you."

"Good to see all of you too. I´m sorry about that Stark, I´m in a different time zone, it is 4:41 in the afternoon for me." Clint says looking at his watch.

Natasha is sitting in the farthest end of the table, she avoids eye contact with the others so they don´t notice that she was crying, so she looks straight ahead at the screen and asks, her voice back to normal: "Where are you exactly, Clint?"

"Hey Nat, I heard you were back at the tower." Clint smiles at her and she smiles back. He then continues: "I´m in Singapore right now, but I´ll meet you in a small island on Indonesia. I´m sending the coordinates, I need you guys to suit up and come right away. I´ll let you know on the details when you get here."

Steve stands up looking at the screen: "Okay Barton. We´ll be there as fast as we can." He looks at the others sitting around: "Everybody, gather your things and be ready in 10. Stark, call the pilot of the quinjet, tell him we´ll be waiting at the rooftop."

"Sure thing, Cap." Tony stands up and takes his phone out of his pocket walking out of the room as he makes the call, with his friends following right behind him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song that inspired this chapter: Human by Christina Perri


	4. On Our Way

It is 5:05 a.m.

The quinjet takes off with all the Avengers inside, suited up and ready for battle.

Tony rises from the copilot sit and heads to the back of the jet to join the others: "Okay, so the pilot got the coordinates for our destination, a remote island in Indonesia." He is holding one of his high-tech tablets: "Legolas also sent some briefing on our mission." He waves a hand up from the tablet and an image of a six store building appears on a lager screen inside the jet, the others gather around to take a better look at it.

Tony continues: "This is a HYDRA building, it is a main weapon´s distribution center and it supplies HYDRA ´s minions and facilities from the eastern part of the world." He waves his hand again and an image of a dock next to the building appears: "There is a major cargo ship schedule to departure in 10 hours. Our mission is to break in the building, gather all the intel we can, get out and then blow up the whole thing. No need to mention that it is heavily guarded."

Steve asks: "Did Barton said how many soldiers are in the area?"

Tony looks at him and answers: "No, he said there will be major resistance, but nothing else on the matter. He did send us a map from the inside of the building." He waves his hands again and a layout of the building appears on the big screen, Tony continues: "And he has the password from the backdoor."

Natasha, knowing that she will be the one to infiltrate the building says: "Hum, that makes my life a little easier." She studies the layout on the screen carefully.

Bruce turns to Tony and asks: "How long until we get there?"

Tony looks away from his tablet to answer Bruce: "The pilot said we should get there in about 7 hours, so let´s get comfortable."

* * *

A couple of hours have passed and Natasha tried to take a nap, but couldn´t to do it. Now, she has a terrible headache, probably a combination from the lack of sleep, drinking vodka and crying. She looks at her right side where Thor is sitting and gets a little envy because he was in deep sleep, his head hanging to the side. On the left, Tony and Bruce we´re having science talk, sitting at the end of the jet. Steve is across from her, he is leaning his head against the back of his chair, with his eyes closed and his fingers taping repeatedly against his leg. He can´t sleep either.

Natasha stares at him and wonders if he is thinking about the mission or about her, falling to pieces in front of him. She hates herself for that and hates how he always finds her soft spot. What is it about Steve that makes her want to give all her secrets away?

Steve´s mind is playing the moment he just had with Natasha over and over again, he can´t get it out of his head. He reflects on how Natasha always tried so hard to hide her true emotions from everyone and the way she failed to hide them from him tonight was surprising and scary. He had never seen her so broken and now he wants to be there for her because he cares about her too much to let her go through this alone.

The jet goes through some turbulence and shakes a little, so Steve opens his eyes and finds Natasha's eyes studying him. He locks his eyes with hers and then looks down at her lips. He remembers how they almost kissed, but his thoughts are interrupted when the jet shakes a lot, this time causing Thor to wake up.

Thor blinks to adjust his eyes to the dim light.

Natasha on the other hand squints her eyes from the sharp pain in her head.

Steve gives her a concerned look: "Are you okay, Natasha?"

Natasha opens her eyes and rubs her hand in her forehead: "Yeah, I just got a headache, and the turbulence is making it worse."

He gazes at her green eyes again. Natasha feels a little nervous by the intense look Steve is giving her; it is piercing though her soul, but she doesn't look away.

Thor notices Steve and Natasha staring at each other. " _There is definitely something going on between those two_ " he thinks. He clears his throat to let them know he is awake: "Ahem, are we far from our destination?" He asks as Steve and Natasha break their connection to look at him.

Natasha breaks the awkward silence: "We should be halfway, let me ask the pilot." She unbuckles her seat belt and heads to the cockpit.

When Natasha is out of sight, Thor looks at Steve who is now staring down at the floor: "You know my friend, if you have feelings for Lady Natasha, you should tell her."

Steve looks at Thor and frowns. He opens his mouth to say something and then closes it again.

Thor smiles a little at seeing his friend speechless, knowing his assumption is right, so he continues: "I can see the way you look at her. There is no point in denying it, Steven."

Steve moves uncomfortably on his chair: "It's…complicated." He simply answers.

Natasha walks back in; Thor and Steve look at her as she speaks: "We will be there in about three hours, Thor." Thor nods at Natasha.

Thor decides he should give the two some privacy so he gets up: "I need to stretch my legs, this trip is taking far too long, maybe on a next occasion we should ask Heimdall to transport us." He then rests a hand on Steve's shoulder to reassure him and goes to join Tony and Bruce on the back.

Steve looks back at Natasha. She is still standing in the cockpit doorway, her face is paler than normal: "Natasha, maybe you should sit down." He taps the empty sit beside him.

Natasha is feeling dizzy and her headache is getting worse, so she just accepts his offer and sits down quickly, afraid she might fall down on the way.

Steve just gives her a concerned look again and Natasha answers his unspoken question: "I think I´m having motion sickness. I don´t think drinking vodka and flying afterwards it's a good idea." She squint her eyes again; she is starting to feel nausea too. " _Damn it"_ she thinks.

Steve holds her hand, it is ice-cold. He feels bad for her so he says softly: "I´m sorry. Just try taking deep breaths, it might help. Do you want me to see if there is any medication for that?"

With her eyes closed she replies between breaths: "No, thanks. I think if I just sit still and keep breathing, I´ll survive."

Steve laughs: "I´m sure you will."

After a few minutes, Natasha takes another deep breath and continues: "I´m sorry Steve, I feel so embarrassed about before and now this. I´m feeling so stupid."

"It´s okay Tasha, don´t worry about it. Besides, I enjoy the fact that you let me take care of you." Steve starts to caress her hand with his thumb. He has so many questions in his head, so much he wants to say to Natasha, but now it´s not a good time, so he´ll just wait for another opportunity.

She squeezes Steve´s warm hand and opens her eyes to look at him. She leans into him and whispers: "Well, in that case I´ll have to repay the favor sometime." She gives him a sexy smile just to tease him.

Steve shyly smiles back at her and blushes heavily. She knows how to push his buttons, even when she is not feeling all that hot.

To lighten up the mood, Natasha says looking at the three men on the back: "Poor Thor, he looks very confused. It's hard to keep up with Tony and Bruce when they start to talk about scientific stuff."

Steve turns to look at them too and notices that Tony is talking to Thor and the expression on Thor's face changed from confusion to irritation. So he adds: "And now Tony is probably asking him to lend some Asgardian artifact to test his crazy ideas."

Natasha chuckles. They watch as Thor replies something to Tony, who looks disappointed at his answer.

Natasha let go of Steve´s hand as she sees Thor making his way back to his seat, Steve glances at Natasha and she just whispers: "I´m okay, getting better." Steve nods at her and then watches as Thor sits across from them with a look of disbelief on his face.

Steve smiles at Thor: "Hard to keep up with those two, huh?"

Thor looks at him: "Yes it really is, there is no end to their theories, it is madness."

Natasha replies: "Well, I don't know about Bruce, but Stark definitely got a loose screw on his head." Thor looks quizzically at her so she explains: "Meaning his is a little crazy."

Thor snorts and replies: "I do not doubt that. My girlfriend is a scientist and she enjoy talking about it too, but those two are no match for her."

Natasha smiles a little and then says: "I guess no one is. How is Jane doing by the way?"

Thor smiles at Natasha and starts to talk about Jane Foster and their live together.

* * *

**Indonesia - 12:20 a.m.**

The quinjet lands on a deserted beach, it is night-time. The back door of the jet opens and the Avengers walk out, down the ramp. The weather is nice, the moon is up on the sky, and there is a fresh breeze blowing. There is nothing around them except sand, rocks and a dense forest ahead. They can hear the waves crashing. Then, from behind the trees, a man figures appears from the shadow and walks toward them saying: "Hey, is anyone up for a luau on the beach?"

Clint has a smile on his face, he is suited up with his arrows and bow hanging on his back.

Natasha almost runs to meet him, they hug each other and she says: "It's good to see you in one piece Clint."

Clint gently pulls her away and holds her arms to look at her: "Does that mean you missed me?" He has a playful smile on his lips.

She lightly punches his arm and smiles at him too.

"Ouch, I´ll take that as a yes!" Clint says and then makes his way to meet the guys who are standing on the back and shakes hands with them all, exchanging greetings.

Clint speaks: "Okay, now that we are all here, let´s get down to business." He takes out a pen drive from his pocket and heads back inside the jet, the rest following him. He inserts the pen drive at the screen and says: "The building is on the other side of the island; we should get there in 10 minutes by foot, no flying so we don´t call attention until it is required." He looks at Tony and Thor. They both nod.

More photos of the area appears on the screen, showing rounds of the soldiers, the defenses around the building and the points where there are cameras and sensors that trigger the alarm.

Clint explains every detail of the HYDRA facility´s security and they discuss the best way to get the job done.

Steve, as the leader, makes the final decision on the plan of action and explains it to the team: "So, since the front door is heavily guarded and got cameras everywhere, the backdoor is the best way to enter the building. Natasha and I will infiltrate though here." He points a pathway that leads to the backdoor and then glances at Natasha who nods at him.

Tony interrupts: "Cap, that path got too many soldiers, you´ll call too much attention if you plan to take all of them down, someone will probably trigger the alarm."

Steve looks at Tony and continues: "And that is where you come in. To avoid the soldiers we are going to need a distraction. The cargo ship is docked and getting loaded, so since we are already planning on blowing the whole thing down, you, Thor and Banner will attack it to get their attention."

Tony rubs his fingers against his chin thinking, he replies: "Huh, okay, that might work."

Steve then turns to Clint: "Barton, you are going to find a nice spot to cover me and Natasha as we enter the building. Once we are in, you are going to plant the bomb here." He points at some oil tanks beside the back of the building and continues "When we are all out of there, you can push the button and blow the place down."

Clint looks at Steve and replies: "My pleasure, Cap! And I know just the spot to cover you two." He already scanned the area many times so he knows where to hide safely.

Steve looks around and asks: "Any questions?" No one says anything so he gives the order: "Okay, so get ready and let´s get the HYDRA´s scums!"

Tony and Bruce are the only ones still in their normal clothes so Tony puts a hand in Bruce´s shoulder and says: "Let´s suit up big guy." Bruce just grins at him.


	5. The Mission Starts

**Indonesia - 12:35 a.m.**

Tony, Thor and Bruce are hiding behind a tree line right before the dock. There are several soldiers walking around and a lot of workers on the dock. A crane is loading the containers to the ship. There are two towers on each side, with moving lights and anti-air guns.

Tony, already is his Iron Man suit, turns to Thor and says: "You and I are going to take down those towers first to avoid the heavy artillery." He then turns to Bruce: "When you unleash the beast, try to clear the way to the crane and smash that thing." He then turns on his communication device and talks to Steve: "Hey Capsicle, we are ready when you are."

Steve and Natasha are on the other side of the area, hiding behind some rocks, near the pathway that leads to the backdoor of the big gray building in front of them. Steve hears Tony and takes his wrist close to his mouth to talk on his com with Clint: "Okay, they are in position. Are you ready Barton?"

Clint is just finishing climbing a rocky hill. Up there he has a panoramic view of the HYDRA´s facilities and it is within his range to cover Steve and Natasha on the back of the building. "I´m in place Cap." He answers inspecting the area, every soldier round was running as he had expected.

Steve looks at Natasha to see if she is ready, she only nods at him and then he talks on his com again: "Okay Stark, we are good to go."

Tony looks at Thor and Bruce: "Let´s start the show!" He flies out with Thor right behind him.

Bruce walks out from behind the tree turning into the Hulk, who smashes his fists on the floor with a roar and starts to runs.

The alarm goes off as soon as they spot Iron Man and Thor flying. The soldiers start to get into combat positions. Iron Man, shoots small missiles at the first tower before they can react to the sudden attack and the tower blows up in flames.

Thor heads for the other and hits the base of the tower with his lighting, breaking the wooden pillars that support it. Soldiers on the ground try to run out of the way as the tower starts to fall down, some not making it and getting crushed.

The Hulk punches a few soldiers out of his way, some of them start to shoot at him with machine guns, but it only makes him angry. He grabs a nearby container and throws it at the soldiers that are shooting at him, crushing them and clearing his path. He gets to the crane and starts smashing it down.

Steve and Natasha hear the alarm and see several soldiers who are nearby running towards the dock. Now only three stay behind, with their back at them, watching the others soldiers passing by.

Steve looks at Natasha and whispers: "Now!" She nods and they leave their hiding place.

The Black Widow grabs the nearest soldier wrapping her legs around his torso and shocking him on the neck with her Widows Bite, he falls unconscious.

Hearing the sound from the soldier falling behind them, the other two turn around only to see Captain America´s shield flying toward them, it hits one on his head, knocking him out.

The other soldier was about to shout when an arrow came flying from above, hitting him right on his chest. He is dead.

Another arrow comes flying and hits the camera above the metal door as Natasha and Steve stand in front of it. Natasha types the password Clint gave her on the lock. It beeps and a green light appears. The door unlocks, they walk into a narrow hallway. Steve throws his shield at a camera up ahead; it breaks the camera and bounces off the wall returning in his hand.

Natasha had studied the layout and knows where to go, she whispers to Steve: "The computer room is on the fifth floor, follow me." She silently walks ahead. They reach the end of the hallway, Natasha takes a peek and seeing the way is clear, she moves her hand for Steve to follow her. They turn right into a larger hallway and go to an iron door that leads to the staircase. They run up stairs.

Natasha was about to open the iron door from the fifth floor, when Steve grabs her arm and pulls her back: "Wait, I hear someone coming!"

They lean back against the wall behind the door. Steve overhears two man talking in german about the operation being compromised and getting away on a helicopter. The voices fade as they walk away. Steve then nods at Natasha and heads to the door opening it for her.

Natasha walks out, carefully looking around for any threats and leads the way to the computer room. Once inside, she goes to the computer and inserts a pen drive. She starts typing really fast as she speaks: "We should have about seven minutes before they detect that I'm hacking the system."

Steve stands by the closed door to hear if someone is coming. He watches Natasha´s eyes locked on the computer screen as she types. He can hear the noise of explosions coming from outside. He raises his wrist to talk into his com: "We´re hacking the system, how is it going out there?"

Tony answers almost shouting: "You´re missing the fireworks Cap! We just started to blow up the ship!"

Then Clint speaks in a lower voice: "I´m making my way to the oil tanks."

He puts his wrist down, glances at the clock on the wall and says: "Three minutes Tasha!"

She doesn't take her eyes from the screen as she answers: "Almost done...got it!" But when she is about to remove the pen drive, she freezes because she sees a file with the name: Winter Soldier. She starts typing again.

Steve furrows his brown noticing that Natasha moves her hands to the keyboard again. He glances at the clock, their time is almost up: "Natasha, what are you doing, we gotta go now!"

Natasha keeps typing, so Steve walks to her side grabbing her arm: "Natasha!" He stares at the screen and realizes what she is doing, she is hacking a file on the Winter Soldier. Steve hears footsteps down the hall. He looks at the door and says: "Tasha, let it go. It´s not worth it!"

Natasha is typing furiously and doesn´t even answer Steve.

The door starts to opens and Steve pulls Natasha down to duck under the desk. She looks at him with a pain expression on her face. He lets go of her arm, realizing now that he was squeezing it too hard.

Natasha whispers: "I just need to press enter!"

Steve shakes his head at her, he hears someone walking around the room.

Natasha can't let it go, so she stretches her arm up and starts to feel the keyboard for the enter key. She finds it and presses it.

Steve stares at her in disbelieve because she has such hard time taking orders from him.

The computer starts to load the file as the soldiers are walking around the room. They start to head out, when the computer makes a beep sound. The file is loaded and the soldiers come back inside.

Steve gives an angry look to Natasha. She mouths the word " _Sorry"_ to him and seeing no other way out, she rises with her gun at her hand, loudly shooting the two soldiers down.

Steve stands up taking a deep breath and looking at the dead soldiers on the floor. The alarm of the building goes off. Steve glares displeased with the spy beside him and shouts: "What the hell Natasha, I told you we had to go!"

Natasha knows she messed up and it pains her to see how Steve is looking at her right now, but she couldn't miss the opportunity. She quickly removes the pen drive from the computer and looks at Steve, trying hard to show no emotions on her face: "I guess that one is on me…again."

Steve tenses his jaws before speaking in a lower tone this time: "Let´s get out of here, fast!" He turns on his com: "Barton, we´re leaving through the roof and we´re going to need back up!"

Clint is planting the bomb under the oil tanks, he responds: "Okay Cap, I´m on my way." He finishes fixing the bomb and stands up. He looks around, there no one in sight so he looks up the building and shoots a grappling hook arrow to the rooftop and starts climbing the rope.

Natasha and Steve are running on the hallway toward the staircase, but the iron door opens and soldiers start to come out.

The first soldier shouts a warning to the others as soon as he sees Steve and Natasha, and all soldiers start shooting at them.

Steve pulls Natasha behind him and they both duck behind his shield. Some of the bullets ricochet on Captain America´s shield, taking down two soldiers, but others come out.

Natasha grabs an explosive disk from her belt and makes it glide on the floor. It blows up near the soldiers taking three more down and giving time for Captain America to stand up and to run toward the guards. Steve bashes his shield on the first soldier, punches the next and kicks another back into the staircase, closing the iron door. He holds the door handle so they can´t open it and shouts to Natasha: "The elevator!"

The elevator´s doors are open on their floor, but when Natasha hits the buttons inside, nothing happens, it is disabled. She looks up and sees a trap door that leads to the elevator´s shaft. She grabs the upper frame of the elevator´s door and swings herself to get impulse to kick the trapdoor, it opens with a loud metal sound. She gets down and turns to Steve who is now pressing his shoulder against the door trying to keep the soldiers from coming in.

Natasha shouts: "Steve, into the elevator shaft!"

Steve lets go of the door, puts his shield on his back and runs to Natasha. A soldier comes falling down as the door abruptly opens.

Natasha starts shooting at the soldiers coming out of the staircase as Steve slides the rest of the way into the elevator. He jumps to grab the edge of the open trapdoor and climbs on the elevator. He extends his hand down: "Natasha, come on!" Natasha stops shooting and rolls into the elevator as enemy fire hits the wall beside her. She drops a disc that starts to release tear gas and grabs Steve hands. He easily pulls her up and closes the trapdoor. They have two floors to climb up to reach the rooftop.

Steve looks up and says: "The door on the rooftop is probably locked so I´ll have to use force to open it. Let me go first." Steve says as he holds the iron cable and starts to climb.

Natasha glances at the trapdoor as she hears coughing sounds from the soldiers but it soon stops and there are no more sound. She gives a little smile, knowing that the tear gas had worked. She looks up and climbs after Steve.

 


	6. The Mission Ends

Steve and Natasha are climbing the cable from the empty elevator shaft, going up to the roof, trying to escape from the HYDRA facility. Steve reaches the door to the rooftop and puts all his strength in his arms and hands to force it open. A gust of wind catches his face as he manages to do it. He jumps out and then extends a hand to Natasha, helping her jump out too.

Steve and Natasha look around; the rooftop is dark but it seems to be clear of enemies. Then a voice came from behind and above: "Hey you two." They both quickly turn toward the voice, Natasha already drawing her gun. Clint is standing on the roof above the door they have just come out, with a smile on his face: "Took you long enough, I was beginning to worry."

Then Steve hears a helicopter coming, he looks to the left and an attack helicopter directs a blinding light on them, it is going to fire, no time to react. Steve was about to jump in front of Natasha when the Hulk leaps on the top of the helicopter tails and starts smashing it. The helicopter starts to spin and fall, with Hulk still on top of it. It hits the ground and explodes.

The three avengers on the rooftop got their eyes wide open as they watch the scene. Steve releases a breath he didn´t realize he was holding: "Jesus! That was a close call. Remind me to thank Banner when we get out of here." Steve exchanges a relieved glance with Natasha.

Natasha looks at where the dock is and notices that the ship the others avengers were attacking was on fire: "Looks like Iron Man and Thor are doing some damage too."

Clint looks the other way and sees the door from the staircase opens, HYDRA soldiers are coming out, so he shouts: "Incoming from the right!" The soldiers start shooting just as Steve got in front of Natasha and puts up his shield to block the bullets.

Clint shoots an explosive arrow taking out the soldiers that are off the staircase.

Natasha, already with her gun in her hand, rolls to the side and kneels beside Steve. Two more soldiers come out and Natasha shoots both soldiers down.

Steve lowers his shield as the shooting stops, just in time to see a metal ball rolling its way over and stopping right between him and Natasha.

Clint realizes it must be some kind of grenade and shouts: "Take cover!" He lays with his face down on the roof, his hands on the back of his head.

Steve turns to cover Natasha and sees her already running towards the empty elevator shaft, so he just ducks behind his shield.

Natasha jumps and grabs the elevator cable as the metal ball goes off silently.

Several metal blades fly off it, making tinkling sounds as they hit Captain America´s shield. Steve stands up and sees the blades that hit his shield on the ground. He looks up with worried eyes and notices that there are more blades sticking on the wall beside the door of the elevator shaft. He thinks:  _"Damn it!"_  as he sees that Natasha is hanging in the elevator´s cable with a pain expression on her face.

Natasha grits her teeth, trying not to cry out in pain as she looks down on her right lower back and sees the blade that hit her, thinking  _"What the hell is that?"_  She would be covered in there from an explosion, but not from flying blades. The blade went deep, the pain is too much and it is draining her strength. Her right hand loses its grip on the cable. She shuts her eyes and takes shallow breaths trying to control the pain without much success. Her left arm starts to tremble.

Clint slowly stands, not knowing what happened. He sees Steve making a run toward the elevator shaft.

Steve tries to get to Natasha, but it´s too late. She loses the grip from her left hand and falls to her back, on the top of the elevator, that luckily isn´t far down, but Natasha screams as she feels the blade piercing even deeper on her back, all the way through her abdomen.

Clint sees more soldiers coming out from the staircase but his eyes widen with the horrifying sound of Natasha´s scream. He quickly looks down at Steve.

Steve is looking down into the elevator shaft kneeling besides the opening and is about to jump in to help Natasha when Clint shouts: "Cap, more enemies!" Steve looks to the right were a dozen more of hydra soldiers are coming at them. He closes his hand hard, almost piercing his nails through his palm. He can´t stand leaving Natasha helpless.

Clint quickly asks as he starts to shoot arrows at the enemies: "What happened to Nat?"

Steve looks down at Natasha again, she is not moving but her eyes are open, she seems to be conscious: "She fell into the elevator shaft!" His voice is shaken from the sight of Natasha´s blood pouring out her abdomen. Some bullets hit the floor beside him, taking him out of the panic moment and into a moment of rage. Steve stands up and charges at the soldiers, his shield blocking the bullets. He bashes his shield into the soldiers that were shooting at him with an angry shout, they fall down hard. Then he kicks their faces with all his strength taking them out, he turns around and punches other soldiers that are nearby, knocking them out as fast as he can.

Clint covers Steve, so he doesn´t get hit by the other soldier´s bullets.

As he catches a break, Steve turns to Clint and shouts: "Where the hell are the others, we need some help here!"

Clint touches his earpiece: "Hey, Tin Man, are you guys done over there? We´re on the rooftop trying to escape, Natasha is down and Steve and I are under heavy fire!" He shoots some more arrows without really aiming but hitting the mark.

Tony who is flying over the flaming ship responds: "Got it, I´ll be right with you Legolas! Thor, we gotta go!"

Hulk is smashing down the containers on the ship; some are falling on the water as he hits them.

Thor is flying by and throws his hammer hitting another helicopter that is attacking them. It falls down spinning towards the water. "Lead the way, I am finished here!" Thor answers to Tony as his hammer flies back to his hand.

Natasha vision is blurry. She blinks a few times trying to focus. Her head hurts from hitting it against the elevator, but the more intense pain comes from her right side, she slowly raises her head looking down at her injury and sees the bloody tip of the blade on the right side of her abdomen. She grimaces at the sharp pain it is sending through her body.

Tony and Thor arrive at the rooftop taking a lot more of soldiers down.

"We´ve got this, you two get Natasha and get out!" Tony says as he shoots at soldiers with his beams.

Natasha lets her head fall again and turns a little to the left side to take a hold on the back of the blade. Natasha takes a deep breath, gathering the strength to try pulling it out. She presses her lips together not to scream as she starts pulling it. She holds her breath for a moment as the pain increases. When the blade comes out, she can´t hold it anymore and screams in pain. Tears start to fall from her eyes.

The Avengers all look terrified at each other as they hear Natasha´s scream. Steve is already running to the elevator shaft with his shield on his back when Clint shouts: "I´m going to get the jet, Cap!"

Clint then turns to Tony: "Hey Stark! You can have the honor!" He throws the detonator from the bomb to Tony, who grabs it and says: "Ah, just like old times!" remembering when his company used to make weapons of mass destruction and he occasionally went on the tests sites.

Clint starts running to the edge and jumps. He turns in the air shooting his grappling hook arrow to descend the building.

Steve lands right next to where Natasha is laying, her face is pale and tears are falling from her eyes. She looks at him and manages to say: "I took it off…" with the blade in her trembling and bloody hand. He takes the blade out of her hand and tosses it to the side. She lets her hand fall beside her. Steve looks down at the puddle of blood on her back and then puts his hands at the cut in her abdomen, to try stopping the bleeding. He presses it, but the bleeding is coming out from her back too, he whispers: "Jesus Tasha!"

Natasha sees the fear in his blue eyes and says: "I…don´t think I´m…going to make it" she feels weak, her breath is erratic.

Steve meets her eyes and replies almost angry at her for saying that: "Yes you are! I´m getting you out of here!" He has to stop the bleeding so he grabs a bandage and a small bottle of antiseptic from one of his pockets. He quickly looks at her and says as he opens the small bottle: "This is going to sting a little." And pour the antiseptic on the top of the wound.

Natasha grits her teeth and takes a hold on Steve arm, squeezing it hard. When he is done she lets go of him and takes shallow breaths. She then groans when he moves her to pass the bandage around her back and wrap it tightly around her belly. He mutters: "Sorry" and then takes a hold on her waist, puts her left arm around his neck and says: "Hold on to me". He lifts her up. She sinks her head into his shoulders, biting her lip from the sharp pain and tries not to pass out.

Steve looks up, the opening is high above. He looks to the side walls calculating his trajectory; he gets an impulse with his feet against the side wall and jumps to the opposite wall and with another impulse, jumps out of the shaft landing on his back, his shield absorbing the impact, holding Natasha tightly in his arms.

Thor sees him coming out and points to the right: "The jet is approaching that way, Captain!"

Steve stands up and nods at Thor. He shifts Natasha in his arms to get a better grip on her and she groans in pain. Steve looks down at Natasha and whispers: "Stay with me Tasha, I know you can get through this!" She tightens her grip around his neck in response.

Steve runs by Thor as he clears the way for him with his hammer. He looks foward and sees the jet coming up with the back door open right in front of him. He runs to the edge, lightly bends his knees and takes a big jump, landing on one knee inside the jet.

Steve lays Natasha down, takes off his helmet throwing it to a corner and gets more bandages to try containing the blood that is still slowly coming out of her wound.

Clint, already flying away, asks: "How´s she doing Cap?" The pilot that came with them is sitting beside Clint on the copilot´s place.

Steve kneels beside Natasha and answers Clint: "A blade pierced through her abdomen, she lost a lot of blood and probably has a concussion on her head, so get us to a hospital, fast!"

Steve then gently rolls Natasha to the side to wrap around more bandages. Natasha presses hers lips together, trying not to cry out with the pain. He rolls her to her back again. Steve sees her eyes shuts tight and the pain expression in her face so he whispers: "Sorry, just hang on. We are getting you to the hospital." He holds her cold hand in his, she tightens her grip on it. He looks at her bandage and sees that the bleeding has stopped, but he keeps staring at it, afraid she might start to bleed again.

A few minutes passes when Steve feels that Natasha´s hand starts to lose its grip on his so he looks up at her face in concern and notices that she is pale, her eyes are open but far away. Steve grabs her face with both hands and pleads: "Look at me Natasha!" Her glassy green eyes meet his worried blues, she blinks heavily. "Don´t you dare leaving me, do you hear me?" Steve commands her, holding back the tears forming in his eyes.

Natasha is tired, her body at this point is numb, but Steve Rogers won´t let her give in, he is the only reason she is fighting so hard to not let herself go into the darkness that is surrounding her, his face is the only thing that keeps her going, so she puts a weak smile on her lips and says in a faint voice: "Yes, my Captain…"

Steve caresses her face with his thumbs, occasionally whispering: "Stay with me Tasha..." never taking his eyes out of hers to make sure she stays awake, until the jet lands on the top of Singapore´s main hospital.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song that inspired this chapter: Atlas by Coldplay


	7. Praying for Her Life

It is 2:38 a.m. as Clint lands the jet on the rooftop of Singapore´s hospital. He quickly stands up from the pilot sit and takes a look at Natasha, lying still with a bandage around her abdomen, blood all over her suit, sweat on her forehead, her face is pale and her lips are purple. She is blankly looking at Steve who is kneeling beside her, staring back at her. Steve has his hands on her cheeks and is whispering something so low that he can´t quite hear. " _Is the Captain praying?"_  Clint thinks and feels a chill go down his spine when the thought of Natasha dying comes to his mind. So he quickly says getting out of the jet: "Let´s go Cap! Get Nat, I´m calling someone to help!" He runs to the door and enters the hospital.

Steve is praying. He has been praying since he noticed a few minutes ago that Natasha is in shock, she needs help fast because her oxygen rate is low and her heart can stop at any time. He has to hang on to something not to fall apart, so the only thing he can do right now is pray. And when Clint calls him running out of the quinjet, he immediately picks Natasha´s limp body up in his arms and runs out of the jet too.

Clint goes inside the building, turning left on a large empty hallway and shouts: "We need help! Someone, please!"

An oriental woman in white jacket comes out of a room and says with an accent: "Sir, what´s the matter?"

Steve appears turning the corner into the hallway too with Natasha in his arms and answers the nurse: "She got pierced by a blade on her abdomen! I managed to contain the bleeding, but she lost a lot of blood and she´s in shock!"

The nurse narrows her eyes as she recognizes Captain America and quickly checks Natasha in Steve´s arms, but without saying a word, she runs into a room and quickly comes out pulling a stretcher: "Put her here Captain, let´s go down the elevator and take her to the E.R."

Steve puts her on the stretcher and pushes it to the elevator.

Natasha´s eyes close and her head falls to the side as they all get inside the elevator. Steve calls Natasha´s name but she doesn´t move. Steve feels like he has a hole in his chest: "No, no, Natasha! Look at me!" he keeps saying grabbing her face, but her eyes stay shut.

The nurse quickly presses a button in the elevator and then grabs Natasha´s wrist to feel the pulse, it is weak. She grabs a phone that is inside the elevator: "I´m on my way to the E.R. with an unconscious female in shock! Get the crash cart ready!"

Steve looks at Clint; both have fear in their eyes. Clint swallows hard, his throat is dry.

The elevator´s door opens again. They go into a room, where more people in white are already waiting for them. Another nurse turns to them: "Please, stand back, we´ve got this."

Steve and Clint stand aside and notice Natasha chest stops moving, the nurse that had her hand on her wrist shouts: "I lost her, get the defibrillator now!" The nurse unzip Natasha´s suit exposing her black bra as another nurse hands the defibrillator to the doctor who shouts: "Clear!"

Clint watches in panic as the nurses and doctor run around trying to reanimate Natasha, he can´t believe what is happening, he nervously put his hand on his mouth. Steve is at his right side, despair is in his eyes as he watches the doctor shocking Natasha´s chest for the second time and nothing…he starts whispering: "No God, please, don´t let her die! Natasha, come back, please!" His eyes are burning from the tears he is holding back.

After shocking her a third time, the doctor puts a hand on Natasha´s neck and says: "Got a pulse, but it´s weak! Inject 1 mg of atropine, now!" A nurse does as he says, then they plug-in the monitor on Natasha and they all watch as Natasha´s vital signs stabilize.

Clint releases a breath in relieve, putting his hands on Steve´s shoulder. Steve just closes his eyes and mutters: "Thank God."

* * *

Tony, Bruce and Thor had arrived in the hospital a short time after the doctor took Natasha away for surgery. They met Steve and Clint quietly sitting in the waiting room. Tony quickly explained that as soon as the quinjet was out of their sight, he blew up the HYDRA building and they left, giving a lift to Bruce once he turned back to his normal self. Then Steve told them what happened to Natasha. They exchanged worried looks and remained quiet for a moment.

Tony is staring out the window and Bruce sits down on the nearest chair.

Thor, who is standing in the middle of the room, breaks the silence: "I am famished, is there somewhere we can eat?"

They all look at the Thunder God, but none answers right away, everybody still got their minds stunned with the news.

Thor looks around thinking to ask someone from the hospital for that information, since his friends didn´t respond.

Then Tony walks to Thor and says: "Nothing seems to take the God´s appetite away, huh!" He taps Thor on the shoulder and continues: "Come on big guy, there is probably a cafeteria around here, I´ll help you find it."

Bruce rises from where he is sitting and says: "I think this surgery is going to take a while, so I could use a cup of coffee." And he starts walking after Tony and Thor.

Clint stands up and says: "Yeah, me too" following Bruce.

Then Tony stops and looks back at Steve, who is still sitting down, looking lost in his thoughts: "Hey Cap, aren´t you coming?"

Clint stops and looks back at Steve too.

Steve, absentminded looks up: "Huh? Oh no, I think I need some fresh air." He stands up and makes his way to the elevator.

Clint stands beside Tony and whispers: "Is there something going on between Steve and Natasha? I´ve never seen the Captain so devastated. I thought he was going to die with Natasha in the E.R., it was kind of scaring." He watches as Steve gets into the elevator.

Tony looks at Clint and says: "Not that I know of, but he is acting different around Natasha since she got back. I think that the Cap is in love with the spy."

Clint eyes widen and he says in a sarcastic tone: "No way! Captain America and Black Widow?"

Tony has a smirk on his face: "Why, are you jealous, Legolas?"

Clint frown to Tony: "What? No, I mean…yeah…maybe a little. I´m a bit overprotective of Nat, she is like a sister to me." He takes a deep breath and continues: "Do you think she is in love with him too?"

Tony raises an eyebrow and answers: "I don´t know, I can´t read the spy like Rogers, she always got her poker face on. But in the tower they were always around each other."

"Hey, come on!" They both look at Bruce gesturing for them to come in the end of the hallway, so they make their way to reach him.

* * *

Steve is holding the steel rail, on the edge of the hospital´s rooftop, looking at the lights of the city on the horizon. The waiting is killing him. He feels like he has a heavy weight on his chest and it is making it hard for him to breathe. He almost lost Natasha today, he saw how weak she was and she still had to go through surgery, he was so afraid that she wasn´t going to make it. It is in dark times that you find out who your true friends are and Natasha turned out to be even more than that to him. He loves her, more than anything. He realizes that now because when he is around her, he feels truly alive. And now losing her means losing what is left of his sanity, he is afraid that he might not be able to go on without her in his life. The steel rail he is holding dents into his tight grip. He lowers his head as all the pain and fear he is felling takes over him and the tears that he had tried so hard to hold back before now are falling freely from his eyes.

* * *

It has been nearly two hours. Steve comes out of the elevator and goes to the waiting room, finding Tony, Bruce, Thor and Clint sitting there already. They all look up at him as he asks: "Any news from Natasha?"

Bruce is the one to answer him: "Not yet." He sees how beaten up Steve is and asks: "Are you okay Steve?"

Steve sits down on a chair next to Bruce and takes deep breath: "Yes…no…I don´t know…"

Thor, who is pacing around the room with his arms crossed to his chest, just walks to Steve and rests a hand on his shoulder to comfort him, Steve nods at him and Thor resumes his pacing.

Tony is sitting across from them, he tries to comfort the soldier too: "Don´t worry buddy, I´m sure Natasha will be fine, she´s a fighter."

Steve looks at Tony with a half-smile on his face and Tony asks: "What?"

Tony is looking quizzically at Steve as he answers: "You said her real name instead of some nickname you made up." Bruce chuckles at Steve´s remark.

Tony continues: "I did, didn´t I? Well at least I got you to smile a little, ´cause you look like crap." He smiles at Steve.

Clint is sitting beside Tony in deep thought and suddenly speaks before Steve can get back at Tony: "You know, Stark is right, Natasha is a fighter, and the serum will surely help her get better in no time."

Thor stops pacing around and they all look surprised at Clint.

Steve and Tony say together: "What serum?" Steve and Tony look at each other and then back to Clint.

Clint is taken aback by all the eyes on him: "What? You guys didn´t know that yet?" They all keep looking at him, waiting for the answer so Clint continues: "She was injected with a type of Super-Soldier serum when she was in the Red Room. She was the only one who survived its effects."

Bruce, rubbing his hand against his chin, says: "That´s interesting to say the least."

Tony then looks at Bruce: "It is not only interesting, it explains a lot about the redhead too" Bruce nods at Tony.

Steve is still staring at Clint as he speaks: "So that means she can heal like I do?"

Clint looks at Steve: "Not like you no, but she can heal faster than a normal human."

Tony then asks: "What about the other Super-Soldier abilities that the Cap has, does she have them too?"

Clint looks at Tony: "Well, they are similar to the Cap, but not as powerful. Her serum has enhanced her physical and mental abilities to the top of human capability. She is as strong, as fast, as smart as a human can be. She also has a very strong immune system, high endurance, pain suppression…"

Bruce interrupts: "High endurance and pain suppression? Well that explains how she was able to pull out the blade from her abdomen herself. That must have hurt like hell."

Clint nods at Bruce then continues with a smirk on his face, knowing that what he was about to say would cause a fuss: "And her body ages in a much slower rate than ours, so she is a lot older than she appears to be."

Tony looks like he just found out a major gossip and almost jumps out of his chair: "What? How old is she exactly?"

Clint looks at Tony: "I don´t know, every time I asked her about it, she changed the subject. But from the stories she has told me, my guess is that she is almost as old as the Captain here" then he looks at Steve.

Steve is astonished and speechless. Natasha has more in common with him than he thought. He wonders how long Natasha has been around. Has she seen what he had seen? Has she lived in his time too?

And now everyone is staring at Steve as Tony says: "Wow! That must be why you two get along so well! I mean, you´re an old man and she is an old woman. Oh god, so many nicknames are coming to my mind right now…" Tony laughs at himself.

Then the doctor comes in with a nurse behind him. Tony stops laughing immediately. Steve stands up almost as a reflex and they look expectantly at the doctor who starts to speak: "I´m Doctor Ming, the head surgeon and I´m glad to give you the good news. Natasha is well and out of risk."

The tension on the room disappears right there, everyone seem to be more relaxed, and Tony resumes laughing. They all glare at him and he says: "Oh, I´m sorry, go on Doc."

The doctor smiles a little and continues: "She is a strong woman, we manage to repair the internal damage and she is recovering well. She was moved to a private room, she is asleep but if you want you can see her now. Nurse Wang will show you the way" he points at the oriental woman behind him who says: "Follow me."

Steve goes to the doctor and puts a hand on his shoulder and says with a smile on his face: "Thank you, Doctor!"

The doctor nods at Steve, smiling back.

The other all pass beside the doctor thanking him and the doctor gives a broad grin, after all, it is not every day that you get five superheroes to thank you!


	8. Fighting Demons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys!  
> In this chapter there are going to be some explanation on the nightmare Natasha had on chapter 3 and her encounter with old friends she mentioned in chapter 2. It is a little dark, but Natasha´s past has a lot of dark places. I´m not an expert on her background, so I´m just putting my ideas of what might have happened to her.  
> Hope you guys like it!

**Flashback - Russia, 1952**

It is a cold night. The Black Widow is on surveillance, she is waiting for her mark to come back home. The KGB sent her there to kill an American journalist that is trying to get information on the Black Widow Ops, with the meaning of bringing the operation down by exposing it to the public eye.

She sees the woman arriving and going inside her apartment building. Natasha recognizes her face because that same woman has been following her the last few days. Natasha noticed that on a late night after she left the house of her previous mark, a Russian politician. The Black Widow could have killed her then, but she seemed harmless and out of curiosity she pretended that she didn´t see her. Now she understands why the woman was following her, she must have found out who she was and was probably trying to get information for her article. Natasha thinks that the journalist has a lot of guts, stalking a trained assassin, but she is going to regret that now.

Natasha is waiting outside the woman´s apartment, until the lights are out. When that happened, the Black Widow makes her move. She manages to pick the lock from the front door of the building and from the door of the woman´s apartment without much trouble. Her feet are light and quick at the same time as she silently enters the apartment and makes her way to the bedroom where the woman is asleep.

Natasha pulls out a small knife from her belt and gets on the top of the woman.

The woman awakes with wide eyes, but can't do much because the Black Widow pins her to the bed pressing her tights against her arms and torso and puts her left hand on her mouth so that she can't scream.

With the knife on her right hand, the Black Widow makes a quick movement and slices the woman's throat open. Blood spills all over the white sheets.

Natasha gets off of the woman and stands beside the bed, watching with a cold stare as her victim gasps for air and puts her hands on her bleeding throat. She can't help but wonder why this woman looks familiar to her. Have she met her somewhere before?

Then, the woman arms falls lifeless to the side of her body, she is dead.

The Black Widow starts to look around for the journalist´s notes, so she can destroy them. She can't find anything but a letter on the top of a desk in the living room, with a pen on the side. Looks like the woman just wrote that. It is in Russian, so she wonders why an American journalist would write in Russian. Natasha picks up the letter with curiosity and reads it:

_Dear Natalia,_

_I have been looking for you for 19 years. Since our house was burnt to the ground and I lost everything. When the fire started, your father told me to get out and went to get you in your room. I ran outside and waited, watching the fire consume our home. When I saw a man walking out with you in his arms, I thought it was your father at first, but he looked at me and I didn´t recognized him. He ran the other way, I tried to run after him, but he had disappeared in the shadows. So I waited and waited for your father but he never came out of the flaming house. You were 5 years old. I searched for years for you, without any success. Many times I thought you were dead, but I couldn't stop looking for my only child. And then, three nights ago, fate finally brought you to me as I saw you, walking out of a bar, with a man. I almost didn't recognize you, but then you laughed and smiled, the same way you used to when you were just a little girl and I knew you were my Natalia. God had finally shined a light on me. But I didn't have the courage to face you, not yet. I was afraid that you wouldn't remember me and send me away. So I started to follow you, to find out where you live so I can send you this letter and explain everything. I don´t know what happened in your live in all these years, but understand that I never abandoned you, never stopped thinking of you, never stopped loving you. I'm sorry for not finding you before. I hope you can forgive me and give me a chance to be with you again. So if you want to meet me, I'll be at the Corner Cafe on Saturday at 9:00 a.m. and whatever happens, just know that I am glad that you´re alive and became a beautiful young woman._

_Your mother,_

_Vera_

Natasha's hands are shaking as she finishes reading the letter. She can't believe it, she thinks for a moment that this got to be some sort of sick joke. She drops the paper in her hands and runs back to the room where the woman is dead on her bed. Now Natasha sees why she looked so familiar. She has the same fiery red hair as her, the same porcelain skin, the same shape of her nose and mouth. She looks likes her, but older.

Natasha is stunned as she simply stares at the woman wondering if she just killed her own mother. She notices there is a golden chain on her neck, so she reaches for it and pulls it out of the woman´s night-gown, it is a locket. She opens it and feels her eyes start tearing as she recognizes herself as a child standing between a tall man and the dead woman. She throws the open locket back in the body of her mother, disgusted by the blood that stained her hands as she reached for it.

Natasha just killed her mother. She panics and back away slowly whispering: "No, no, no…this is a bad dream, it is just a dream!" until she hits a wall and slide to the ground, holding her knees against her chest, tears rolling down her checks, her body shaking badly. She is terrified of what she did. She remembers that Saturday was the day after tomorrow. Her mother was going to be waiting for her in the cafe in two days.

Natasha thought that her mother had died long ago, but she was wrong. She died today, by her hands, killed in cold blood. KGB lied to her, manipulated her, used her, trained her to be a cold hearted assassin and sent her to kill her own mother, probably because they were afraid that once they met, Natasha would leave KGB. But now everything was ruined, her hope shattered, her heart broken. She was going to have her vengeance.

Rage takes over Natasha as she returns to KGB headquarters and ruthlessly kills a dozen agents before they could get a hold on her. KGB only let her live because they didn´t want to lose their best assassin, she had a set of skills that no one could match, so they punished her and locked her away. Brainwash wasn´t going to work this time, so that was the first time they experiment with a new drug, a memory suppressor, that made her forget her recent past actions, so she would never remember that she had killed her own mother and would remain loyal to KGB. The drug worked and from that day on, it was used on her whenever they thought the Black Widow was losing her allegiance to them.

* * *

**A month back - Ukraine**

Natasha is in Ukraine, following a lead on HYDRA for Fury. That´s when she had a recent encounter with KGB agents. They manage to capture her and take her to an old shack where they chained her to a wall. They were trying to convince her to work with KGB again, as a double agent, but Natasha refuses: "I rather die!" was her answer, as she spoke in Russian. Her eyes are defiant as she looks to the four KGB agents in front of her. Natasha is not afraid of dying.

One of the agents comes closer to her ear and speaks in Russian: "There are worst thing than dying, my dear." He gets a syringe from a small black case and, with an evil grin, he injects her arm with the drug.

Then fear finally appears in her eyes as Natasha shouts: "What is that?"

The Russian is staring at her with a smirk on his face: "A drug that will unleash your worst demons, it will make you remember the memories you lost, remember the evil you´ve done, all the innocent blood you´ve spilled, because you see my dear, no matter how much you think you can redeem yourself, there is only one final destination for you…hell." He throws the empty syringe at her feet.

Natasha knows what they are doing, since they can´t have her back, they are trying to break her spirit, so she can´t fight for anyone. She is afraid that maybe they would succeed.

Then, the agents beat her up, until she is slightly conscious. They release her from the chains and let her fall hard to the floor. They spit at her and leave, laughing as one of them says: "That is the end of the great Black Widow! What a shame."

She tastes the blood in her mouth as her face is pressed against the cold floor. Her body aches all over. She raises her head slowly, watching the four men walking away and groans as her head falls again and she passes out. That is when she dreams of ghosts in her past life.

* * *

**Present time - Singapore**

While unconscious, Natasha dreams:

_She wakes up and recognizes the interrogation room from the Red Room facility. The light is dim and she is lying on the floor. Shadows of men with red eyes are standing in front of her. They look at her and laugh as they curse her in Russian. She sees a door ahead, she tries to get up but her legs are paralyzed, she can´t move. She tries to crawl using her hand, but doesn´t get very far because the men start kicking her in the abdomen. She cries in pain._

_When they stop, she feels weak and about to pass out, but then she hears a voice:_ _"Don´t you dare leaving me, do you hear me?"_ _She recognizes the voice of Steve Rogers, she looks around but he is not there. She hears the men still laughing, but they are only echoes, because she is alone in the room now._

_Natasha sees a light coming from the door as it opens slightly. Then Steve´s voice call her again: "Stay with me Tasha!"_

_Natasha starts to feel her legs again and slowly gets up. She is having a hard time breathing because of the pain in her abdomen, but she has to leave that place so she gathers her strength and makes a run for the door._

_As she goes through it, a blinding light hits her, she stops and puts her hands on her eyes to cover them, she can´t see anything. She is lost, she doesn´t know where to go next. Despair comes over her as she starts to feel weak again and falls to her knees._

_Then she hears Steve´s voice: "Natasha, come back to me!" She looks up ahead as the intensity of the light decreases and she sees that Steve is standing in front of her in his Captain America´s uniform. She smiles and says: "Steve!" He extends his hand, she holds it. Steve helps her get up and they both run away into the fading light._


	9. Finding My Heart

**Singapore´s hospital - 2:15 p.m.**

Clint is sitting on a chair beside the bed that Natasha is sleeping. He is now freshly showered and in his normal clothes, playing on his phone. He has been there for about an hour, since he finally convinced Steve that he should go to the hotel with the others to get cleaned up and rest a little.

It is then that he hears Natasha stirring on the bed.

Clint looks away from his phone and to Natasha, her eyes are still closed, but she is restless, moving her arms and legs on the bed.  _"She´s having a bad dream"_ , he thinks. So he gets up and put his hand on top of hers, calling her: "Hey, Nat?"

Natasha eyes open just a little, her head hurts like hell and her vision is blurry, but she feels a hand placed lightly on top of hers, so she asks: "Steve?"

Clint gives a bittersweet smile and answers: "No, it´s Clint."

Natasha turns her head toward Clint´s voice and blinks a few times to adjust her vision. She can now see the archer smiling at her. It´s not who she is expecting, but she is glad to see a friendly face. She smiles back saying softly: "Hey, Clint. It is good to see you."

Clint caresses her hand with his fingers and asks: "How are you feeling?"

Natasha takes a deep breath and answers: "Like I fell down two stores on an elevator shaft." She tries to sit up, but the pain in her abdomen stops puts his hand on her shoulder saying: "Just lay still" as she falls back to the bed. Natasha grimaces and continues: "and got pierced by a blade." She lightly places her hands on her abdomen.

Clint grabs the control of the bed, starting to elevate the back rest for her to sit up as he says: "I´m glad to see that your memory is fine." Then he adjusts some pillows behind her back, so she is more comfortable.

Natasha smiles at him again: "Thanks. How long have I been out?"

Clint, with a serious expression on his face, replies: "For about 12 hours. You scared the hell out of us. Your heart stopped once, luckily we were in the hospital and the doctor was able to reanimate you."

Natasha bits her lower lip. She thought that she wasn´t going to make either, if Steve didn´t keep calling her, she probably would have given up fighting. And all this happened because she was too stubborn to listen to him, she took too long inside the HYDRA building because she wanted to download the file on the Winter Soldier, to help Steve, and she almost got herself killed. Steve would probably be angry at her for that. She wonders where he is, but not to show Clint that she is worried about Steve, she simply asks: "Is everybody else okay?"

Clint sits back down on the chair: "Yes. They are in a hotel nearby, we were all tired. I was there too, but I came back to convince Steve to get some rest. He didn´t want to leave your side."

Natasha´s heart skips a beat, the Captain was still trying to take care of her and that made her feel so happy that she almost smiled, but instead she gives a neutral look to Clint and says: "Well, you know Steve, as a leader he always feel responsible when one of us get hurt."

"True, but I think is more than that, Nat." Clint stares a Natasha, trying to see some sort of reaction to his comment, but Tony was right, she is hard to read.

Before Natasha could reply, the door of the room opens and Steve comes in, with his ordinary clothes, hair combed but still wet from a shower. He gazes at Natasha and gives a bright smile saying: "Hey!" as he walks to the other side of the bed, where Clint is not sitting. He leans down and kisses her forehead. Natasha closes her eyes at the feel of his warm lips on her skin. Steve pull away and stands beside her bed, smile still on his face: "I´m so glad to see you awake."

Natasha can´t help but get lost in his blue eyes and gives him a sweet smile.

Clint now saw what he was trying to see before. The Natasha he knows would never allow that kind of intimacy with anyone, unless she wants to. And she is genuinely smiling back at Steve. She is in love with the Captain. Clint is amazed with his realization, he never thought he would see Natasha Romanoff, the Black Widow, fall in love. But he thinks that she deserves to be happy, and if Captain America makes her happy, that´s is fine by him.

Clint smiles a little to himself, as he sees Natasha and Steve lost on each other eyes, smiling. He feels like a third wheel so he speaks: "I´m going to get a soda. Do you guys want something?"

Steve and Natasha look at Clint, Natasha just shakes her head and Steve says: "No, thanks Barton."

Clint rises from his chair and walks out of the room.

Natasha looks back at Steve, a serious expression on her face now, and says: "I´m sorry for not leaving the computer room when you told me to. I know I messed up."

Steve´s smile disappears from his face. He looks away from her. He is disappointed with Natasha for that, but he don´t want to lecture her now, so he just stays quiet for a moment, thinking about all that had happened because of that.

Natasha notices his change of mood, she hates herself for making him feel bad. She just wants him to take it all out on her, she deserves it. So she keeps going: "At least I was the one who paid for my mistake, it wasn´t one of you who got hurt."

Steve snorts and looks at her again: "Hurt? Natasha, you almost died!" his voice is getting louder as he speaks: "Do you know what it was like for me to watch you slowly slipping away, to carry your limp body in my arms?" Steve shouts the last part: "Your heart stopped, for god´s sake!"

Natasha didn´t expect him to be that affected, his eyes are angry and hurt at the same time, she never saw him lose control like that. She opens her mouth to speak, but can´t find the right words, so she closes it again. She feels dazed.

Steve curses himself for shouting at her like that, so he takes a deep breath and continues in a lower voice: "I know that in our line of work there are risks, but in order to survive we need to listen to each other, work together as a team."

Natasha is ashamed for letting him down. She looks at her feet that are covered by a white sheet and whispers: "You´re right. I´m sorry, Steve."

Steve can sense her regret, he can sense her walls coming down, she is vulnerable and this is the moment that he was waiting for. No more running from his feelings. So he holds her chin in his hand to make her look back at him, staring intensely into her green eyes: "Natasha, all that matters to me now is that my prayers were answered, and you came back to me. I lost too many people in my life and if I had lost you too I don´t think I could go on."

Steve is so straight forward with her, his eyes are so pure that Natasha feels butterflies in her stomach. How could she not fall in love with this man, he is charming, kind, brave, honest...he is perfect. And she can´t believe that he cares that much for her, but some how it feels wrong. She had committed to many sins in her life; she is not worth of being in Steve Rogers´ prayers. She is beyond saving and her dark past haunts her everyday, she doesn´t want to drag him down with her.

Natasha is torn for a moment. But like a reflex, her head speaks louder than her heart: "Steve, don´t…don´t go there." She pulls away from his hand, looking down. She thinks that maybe she has lost her heart many years ago.

Her walls are up again, and now she is avoiding him, that is what Steve was afraid of. Steve takes another deep breath, felling hurt, but not defeated. He is determined to figure out Natasha, he isn´t going let this moment pass like he did on the cemetery back in D.C.

He starts to walk, Natasha thinks that he is going to leave the room, but he goes around the bed and sits on the chair that Clint was. Natasha watches him with curiosity in her eyes.

Steve looks at his hands on his lap: "Can I ask you something?" Steve looks up at Natasha. She nods, so he continues: "Why did you keep sending me little gifts when you were away?"

Natasha didn't expect that. It is hard for anyone to catch her off guard, but he did it twice already.  _"Damn"_  she thinks as she looks at the wall in front of her and carefully thinks about what to say. Steve looks at her expectantly.

Natasha turns to meet his eyes and says: "Because you're my friend and I wanted you to know that I was okay."

Steve raises one eyebrow because he knows that she is not telling it all: "And I appreciate that. But that was it, nothing else?"

Natasha looks to the wall again and puts her hands together on her lap, playing with her fingers. She is nervous because she can´t say what he wants her to say, but Steve insists: "Did you send anything to the others?"

She keeps her eyes away and speaks slowly: "No…just for you."

Steve wants to take all the obstacles from his way: "Not even Barton?" Natasha just shakes her head in response.

Steve feels his heart beating faster because now he knows that there is a hope for him to be more than friends with Natasha, he just have to get to her, and so he continues: "Just for me then? Why am I so special to you?" Steve studies her face but can't detect anything. She is good at hiding what she is feeling, she is a spy after all.

Natasha is at a dead end, she can´t think of any excuse to try hiding the truth from Steve, so she simple says in a low voice: "I don´t know." She just keeps staring blankly at the wall, Steve is getting to her again and she is going to crack at any moment.

Steve notices that her body is tense, she is squeezing the fingers from her left hand with her right hand. That is the sign he needed, so he pulls the chair closer to the bed and reaches for her left hand, taking it away from her tight grip.

Natasha looks at his hand on the top of hers, his touch sends heat waves through her body.

Steve keeps looking at her face as he speaks softly: "I'm just trying to understand you, Tasha. I'm really glad you did that for me because the things you sent me helped me put my mind at ease, but I really missed you back then and I don´t want to miss you now." Steve replies saying so easily want she can't say.

Natasha meets his eyes and his honest gaze makes her heart goes so fast that she thinks her chest is going to explode, she can´t think straight anymore.

Steve intertwines his fingers on hers and looks at her with pleading eyes: "Tell me why Tasha, I need to know."

Natasha´s walls fail her again. She can´t hide from him anymore, because deep down she knows that it is because of him that she is still trying so hard to be a better person and he deserves to know that. So her heart speaks louder this time, as she just lets it out: "I never had trouble being underground, I was trained for that. But after what happened to S.H.I.E.L.D., with all my secrets being exposed, it made me think about what was the point of all this if I don´t even know who I am anymore. And walking around in strange places, with strange people, made me feel lost and alone." Natasha lips are dry; she presses them together and pauses. The voice in her head is screaming, telling her to stop, not to let her emotions take over.

Steve squeezes her hand and Natasha looks at him, he says softly: "It´s okay, go on."

His bright blue eyes convince her, so she takes a deep breath and continues: "Whenever I started to feel like that I caught myself thinking of you, how you made me feel trustworthy and how you remind me that there is still good left in this world and we have to fight for it, no matter what. You gave me confidence to keep going and as long as you are leading, I´ll follow you. So I sent these things to you because you mean a lot to me, Steve, because you are the light in my darkest hours."

Steve is astonished by her words: "Wow, Tasha, that is beautiful. I never thought that I had that effect on you." Steve is so happy that she feels that way about him, so he takes her hand to his mouth and lightly places a kiss on her knuckles.

Natasha´s heart melts at his gently kiss, and she can´t run from her feelings anymore, so she adds in a lower tone: "And now you helped me find something that I thought I had lost many years ago…my heart." Steve immediately looks up from her hand to meet her eyes, thinking that he didn´t hear it right, but Natasha is slightly blushing and tears are threatening to fall from her eyes. She says with a shaky voice: "You just keep saving me in so many different ways…I don´t know how to be away from you anymore, Steve."

And that was all Steve wanted to hear, he feels like the luckiest man in the world right now, he smiles and replies in a soft tone: "Then don´t…" he stands up from the chair, still holding her left hand on his right one and with his left hand wipes away a single tear that falls from her eye. Then his left hand presses against her bed for support as he leans down to kiss her. When Steve lips gently touches hers, Natasha closes her eyes a puts her right hand behind his neck. She kisses him back at full force and as Steve feels Natasha responding to him, he deepens the kiss.

Then, there is a click on the door, someone is entering the room. Steve pulls away quickly and looks back, seeing Tony walking in. Natasha blinks rapidly to get the tears away from her eyes.

Tony says: "Hey, Little Red and Capsicle. Did I interrupt again?" he notices Steve´s flushed face and Natasha stirring uncomfortably on her bed.

Natasha gets herself together and answers with her poker face on: "No Stark, come in." She wasn´t in the mood for Tony to start making jokes about her and Steve.

Tony looks suspicious at them, but continues: "Okay...Clint sent me a text saying you were awake, I decided to see for myself. You look good, I mean, for someone who almost died."

Natasha gives him a half-smile and says sarcastically: "Gee, thanks a lot Stark!"

Steve is blushing and decides he should leave before Stark say something about it, so he looks at Natasha: "Since Stark is here to make you company, I´ll go get a cup of coffee."

Tony replies as the Captain walks away: "Don´t worry old man, I´ll take care of the old lady for you!"

Natasha looks questioning at Tony: "Old lady? What is that about Stark?"

Steve stops in front of the door and mentally takes a hand on his face, he knows Natasha is going to be pissed off when she finds out what Clint told them, she is a very reserved person and likes to keep her secrets. But he decides to leave Tony to deal with her alone. Since she is still recovering from her wounds, Steve is pretty sure she won´t be able to kill him. He leaves the room.

Tony sits on the empty chair beside her bed: "Clint told us about your super-serum thing, and how you age slower than us."

Natasha expression goes from curiosity to anger, she shouts: "What! Oh someone is going to get killed as soon as I get out of this hospital!"

Steve is outside on the hallway and hears what Natasha says, not so sure any more that she won´t kill someone. Steve chuckles thinking:  _"Tony is going to regret bringing that up, he shouldn´t play with fire._ _Oh well, Tony is smart, he´ll figure something out._ _"_  He makes his way to the cafeteria and even after hearing Natasha getting mad, he can´t help it but smile on his way there, like a fool in love.

Tony is still curious so he asks: "So, how old are you really? Where you there when the Nazis tried to take over the world?"

Natasha gives a murder glare at Tony and now he fears for his life, so he quickly takes his phone out of his pocket, almost dropping it as he dials: "Hey, look, Pepper was worried about you, why don´t you talk with her a little?" he hands the phone to Natasha.

She aggressively takes the phone from Tony´s hand and says: "Smooth move Stark, but if you ever call me that again, you better sleep with one eye open." then she changes her voice to a softer tone as she greets Pepper on the phone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was inspired by the song: Say (All I need) by One Republic


	10. Discoveries

**Singapore´s Hospital – Afternoon**

As Steve makes his way back to Natasha´s room, his heart is already racing with the expectation of seeing her again, because he knows things between them now will change, change for good. A smile played on his lips with the thought of having her as his girl.

After missing his chance with Peggy, Steve thought he would never find anyone to replace the hole she left in his heart, but then Natasha appeared in his life. When they were introduced by Coulson on the Hellicarrier, he immediately felt attracted to her. She was beautiful and had a fearless attitude that reminded him of Peggy. But he knew that she was a spy, the Black Widow is what they called her, so he didn´t trust her because he could never tell if she was lying or not. Then they had to face Loki and his army of Chiutari, and after the battle of New York, he saw that there was more to her than the art of deception. She was also a brave and relentless fighter and, on that day, she gained his respect and admiration. After that they started to work for S.H.I.E.L.D. as partners, going on several missions together, he started to see other sides of her. They became friends, so close friends that she was always trying to set him up to go on dates with other women, but he would never go, at first because he was still trying to move on from Peggy, but then because Natasha was the only woman he wanted to go on a real date, even if it seemed like she wasn´t available. And when they fought together against HYDRA in D.C., he saw a glimpse of the real Natasha, she gained his trust and he completely fell in love with her. She asked him to do her a favor and ask Sharon out, but he couldn´t because his heart was set on the beautiful redhead spy. And the only reason he didn´t go after her on that day, was because he thought she wasn´t interested in him, because she was with Barton and he isn´t the type of guy who betray his friends. But he wrongly assumed that last part.

Steve blissfully opens the door to the room and to his disappointment, only Tony Stark is in there, holding a computer in his hands. Steve asks in a worried tone: "Where´s Natasha?"

Tony turns to Steve and smiles a little: "Hey Capsicle. The doctor came here and said she needed to do some tests to make sure everything is okay." Tony puts the computer on the top of the nightstand and continues: "And I went all the way to the hotel and back to bring her a computer, she wants to see the files she got from HYDRA, now! No time to rest for Ethel!"

Steve looks confused at him and Tony throws his hands on the air: "Ethel is an old woman´s name? Bah…I keep forgetting you are an old man too! You probably knew an Ethel back then."

Steve looks annoyed at Tony and speaks: "Jesus Stark, you got a death wish or something? Her name is Natasha in case you don´t remember!"

Tony gives him a smirk: "Of course I remember, but where is the fun in calling her that! What about you Captain Purity? Have you told her you love her yet?"

"What?" Steve blushes deeply and says in a threatening tone: "That is none of your business Stark!"

Tony grins seeing how red the soldier´s face is and teases him a little more to see if maybe he cracks: "You didn´t deny it, so I´ll take that as a yes! Are you two a couple now?"

Steve looks with disbelieve at him and says abruptly: "I didn´t tell her I love her okay, stop it Stark!"

Tony points a finger at him: "Ha, but you do love her! I knew it!" Tony laughs and claps his hand together, excited with his discovery.

Steve kicks himself for speaking without really thinking and replies bitterly: "Jesus Stark you are unbelievable, don´t you have anything else to do?"

Tony looks at the time in his phone and replies: "Actually, I do, I have a virtual hot date with Pepper! Gotta go! Don´t worry Cap, your secret is safe with me!" he winks at Steve and leaves the room.

Steve takes a deep breath and shakes his head, not believing that Tony Stark is able to keep a secret and that he just handed to him the fact that he loves Natasha, not that it will make a difference if he tells her that now, but because he is pretty sure there will be endless jokes about it.

Steve looks around the room and yawns. He realizes now that he hadn´t sleep much, he is tired. There is a small couch under the widow, he lies on it and tries to make himself as comfortable as he can on the small piece of furniture. It doesn´t take long for him to fall asleep.

* * *

**Singapore´s Hospital – Sundown**

The last rays of sunlight shine through the room as a nurse enters pushing a wheel chair with Natasha in it. They can see the super soldier sleeping on the end of the room. Natasha can´t help but smile at the scene of Steve almost falling out of the small couch, but he looks so peaceful, that she doesn´t want to wake him.

Natasha puts a finger on her lips so that the nurse doesn´t make any noise and then whispers: "It´s okay, I can handle myself now, thank you!" She gets up from the wheelchair.

The nurse smiles, nods her head and leaves the room.

Natasha watches Steve for a moment, his chest slowly rises and falls, his face is relaxed. She smiles again and silently makes her way to the bathroom and closes the door behind her. She takes off the hospital´s gown, wearing now only her black panties. She looks at herself in the mirror and touches the scar on her left shoulder, where the Winter Soldier shot her when she was with Steve and Sam in D.C. Then she looks down at the bandage around her abdomen. She takes it off and sees the other scar the Winter Soldier gave her, on the left side of her belly, when she was trying to protect a Russian scientist. And now on the right side a little lower on her belly, a fresh one. The cut got 8 stitches, she notices that there is no inflammation around it and it is healing well, but it will leave a mark. She touches her back and feels the stitches around the entry wound from the blade. Now bikinis are really out of question for her, she takes a deep breath felling a little down. She takes her panties off and go into the shower. She is still sore so she slowly washes her body trying to cause as minimal pain as possible, and lingers a little longer under the hot water, letting it relax her muscles.

When she is done, Natasha wraps a towel around her body. She opens the bathroom door and takes a peek into the room. The room is dark now, Steve is still asleep. She doesn´t want to wake him, so she leaves only the bathroom lights on and slowly makes her way to the small storage space across the room and opens it. Someone had brought her things to the hospital while she was unconscious, probably Clint. She grabs her bag and picks out a white panties and a dark green silk nightgown, with black laces on the top and on the hem, just because she thinks it will be easier to put on than a t-shirt and a shorts. She puts them on the shelf above. She turns to look at Steve. He hasn´t move. So she turns her back to him and let the towel fall to the floor. She picks up the panties, raises her right foot and pull it up on her right leg, then when she shifts her weight from the left to the right leg, she feels a sharp pain on her injury and loses balance. She holds the opened storage door not to fall and it makes a loud creak. She hears Steve shifting on the couch. She quickly pulls her panties the rest of the way up and puts an arm around her breasts thinking:  _"Damn it!"_

Steve wakes with a creak sound and quickly sits up straight. He looks forward and sees Natasha´s bare back, she is wearing only a small panties. He can´t see the details because the light is dim, but he sees enough to make him blush. Her body has perfect curves. He can´t help but stare at her, she is beautiful. He says in a rough voice: "Natasha?"

Natasha closes her eyes tight as she hears him and curses herself for waking Steve on that moment, she looks at him over her shoulder to find him staring at her. She gives him a half-smile and replies calmly: "Hey Steve. Sorry, I didn´t mean to wake you."

Steve looks down the moment she looks back at him, blushing even more for getting caught staring at her, he can feel his face burning and says embarrassed: "Uhm…sorry. Do you…want me to leave the room…until you get dressed?"

Natasha turns back again and answers: "No it´s fine." She grabs her nightgown and quickly put it on; ignoring the light pain the movement sends thought her body. Then she walks to the couch, sitting beside Steve.

Steve looks up at her face, still slightly blushing as he asks: "How are you?"

Natasha looks at him: "It still hurts a little when I move, but I´m getting better. They did some exams on me to see if there is any damage left from the fall. The doctor said they will have the results by tomorrow morning."

Steve nods, but he can´t get over the fact that he just saw Natasha almost naked and that now she is sitting very close to him with a very sexy nightgown. He tries not to look at her cleavage, like a gentleman, and locks his gaze on her face, taking a strand of her wet hair with his finger and putting it behind her ear. He says softly: "You´re so beautiful Natasha."

Natasha smiles at him, then her eyes lock on his lips and she leans in, kissing him.

Steve lips immediately responds to hers and he puts a hand on her lower back, pulling her closer. Natasha puts a hand on his neck and let her fingers go through his blonde hair. Then she parts her lips to let his tongue access her mouth. When their tongues touch, as the kiss gets deeper, Steve senses the electricity it sends through his body, he was longing for this moment and it feels so good that now he can´t resist, he wants more. So he grabs her legs putting them on his lap and presses her chest against his. He starts to trail her jaw with kisses down to her neck and then moves his hand up on her thigh, pushing the hem of her nightgown up. Natasha lets a low moan escape her lips and Steve squeezes her bare thigh. Natasha bites her lips with pleasure, his kisses and his touch are inebriating and Natasha is losing control too, so she says in a husky voice: "Steve…maybe we should stop…"

Steve looks up meeting her eyes, he is panting, he doesn´t want to stop, but he knows she is right, so he replies: "Sorry…I got carried away." He takes his hand off her thigh.

Natasha takes a deep breath. She is always so good at keeping control, she is amazed of how Steve makes her go to the edge, so quickly. She mutters: "It´s okay." She kisses his lips lightly and gets off his lap saying with a half-smile: "I thought you didn´t have much experience with woman, you surprised me!"

Steve smiles too, and says: "Like I told you before, I´m old, not dead. I had some experience. But I think we should take one step at a time, maybe I should ask you out on a date first, huh?"

Natasha laughs at the old-fashioned soldier: "No…it´s fine, I don´t go on dates anyway." Which is true, she wasn´t looking for anything romantic or long-term with anyone, not even Steve, until now. And they have been through so much together that she thinks they can skip the dating part.

But Steve is a romantic, he wants to sweep Natasha off her feet and thinks that the dating game is perfect for that, besides it is a way for them to do something normal. So he looks at her with disbelieve: "What? Oh, come on Tasha, you have to go on a date with me, it´ll be fun!" he holds her hand and continues: "Please?"

She can´t say no to those bright blue eyes, so she smiles and says: "Okay…we´ll talk about it when we get back to New York. But now, there is something I need to do."

Natasha stands up and goes to the light switch, turning it on. She goes to the storage space again and grabs a small gun with a black strap. She lifts her nightgown a little to tie it around her thigh.

Steve watches her, amused by her assassin´s habit, she always manage to hide a weapon on her, no matter what she is wearing.

Then she gets her pen drive with the files she hacked from HYDRA and shows it to Steve: "I gotta see what we have here!" She makes her way to the computer Stark left for her, picks it up and climbs into bed with the computer on her lap.

Steve is curious too, so he stands up and stops beside the bed, watching Natasha working on the computer. He looks at the screen as the files start to show.

After a few minutes, Natasha speaks without taking her eyes off the screen: "So, we have all the delivery points of HYDRA´s weapons and names of some high level HYDRA agents. Oh, Stark is going to love this! Prototypes of new weapons that HYDRA is developing."

Steve looks at the intel passing on the screen: "Good job, Natasha, that´s a great piece of information. Can you send it to Fury?"

Natasha starts typing: "Yes, I have his contact. I´ll send him an encrypted message. And I´ll also send it to Stark." She does that and when she pushes the enter key she says: "Done. Now, this one better be good too, since it almost cost my life." She clicks at the Winter Soldier file.

Steve glares at Natasha, his jaw muscles tensing up as he remembers how terrified he was of losing her. The memory of her limp body is still fresh in his head and it bothers him. And all because she was trying to help him find Bucky, he feels distressed.

Natasha can feel his eyes on her; she looks at him: "Steve…are you okay?"

Steve just nods to her and says seriously: "Yeah, go on." He moves his eyes back to the screen, but he´s still tense.

Natasha sigh because she knows this isn´t easy for him, but she lets it go. She turns her attention back to the computer. She goes through the file of the Winter Soldier speaking: "Well , he was off duty for sometime, or maybe he took a while to report back in after our meeting in D.C., because there is only one entry after that day."

Steve says in a concerned tone: "Or maybe he was running from HYDRA and they manage to find him and brainwash him again." His hands turn into fists and he presses his nails against his palm. The thought of not being able to help his friend again is frustrating.

Natasha looks at Steve, felling sorry for him and replies softly: "It´s possible." Then she continues her reading and her eyes widen: "Shit! He is in Russia. He infiltrated KGB at HYDRA´s command!"

Steve is surprised and confused: "What?! But why?"

"It doesn´t have the details of his mission here, but I think I know" she opens up another window: "Do you see this man?" She points at a profile photo on the computer and continues: "Lieutenant General Donskoy of Russia´s military forces, also a HYDRA secret agent according to the files I hacked. The only one above him in the chain of command is General Basov. HYDRA probably wants the General dead, so they can take control of Russia´s military forces. That´s why they sent the Winter Soldier to KGB, he is trying to get close to General Basov…"

Steve completes her sentence: "To kill him…Jesus! And if HYDRA succeeds, they might as well start World War III."

Natasha looks up to Steve: "Yeah, they probably decided to change their course of action after we messed up their plans inside S.H.I.E.L.D. We have to tell the others."

Steve nods at her, then stares at the wall, lost in his thoughts, remembering the information on the file Natasha gave to him when they were at the cemetery on D.C. He knows Bucky was revived by Russian scientists, who attached a bionic arm on him, and then KGB trained him to be a ruthless Soviet assassin under the name of the Winter Soldier. But somehow, HYDRA got his hands on him and turned him to their side.

Realization hits Steve as he recalls Clint saying:  _"…she is almost as old as the Captain."_ So he turns to Natasha, who is looking at the computer again and asks: "Did you know him?"

She looks up at him, with a confused look on her face: "Who?"

Steve leans closer, never leaving her eyes: "Bucky...I mean, the Winter Soldier, were you with KGB during the Cold War?"

Natasha bit her lower lip, recalling what Tony said before, that Clint told them about the version of Super-Soldier serum in her blood, so there is no point in hiding it now. She takes a deep breath before answering: "Yes…" she hesitates because she hates that part of her past, but Steve´s glare is intense, he will demand answers and she can´t lie to him, so she continues: "He trained me when I was in the Red Room Academy, during the Black Widow Program."

Steve brown furrows. He backs away from Natasha, perplexed, he doesn´t know what to think or how he feels about that.


	11. Stand by You

**Singapore´s hospital – Evening**

Natasha puts the computer aside, sits in the bed with her legs crossed and stares at Steve. He is lost in thoughts and the expression on his face scares her because she is sure that he is going to start asking questions about her dark past and at this point, she won´t be able to lie to him anymore.

Steve is standing beside the bed, his eyes are not looking at anything in particular since his mind is full of doubts and questions, one is bothering him more than the others, he wants to know if there was some part of Bucky left in the Winter Soldier, so he looks back at Natasha and asks: "How was he back then?"

Natasha is a little surprised with his question; she knows what he is trying to find out so she answers: "He was nothing like the Bucky you knew, Steve. He had no memories of his past. He was made to be an assassin, a brutal and cold one and he was not much different as a trainer, he pushed me to my limits every time."

Steve understands that the training in the Red Room was probably as hard as it can get, but he wants to know if that was all that their life consisted back then, so he insists: "But did you know him only as a trainer?"

That is one of the questions that Natasha was afraid he would ask, she curses in her head and looks away from him as she replies in a lower voice:"We…had a brief relationship outside the academy. We slept together a few times."

Steve is surprised again and looks away as he tries to process all the information in his head. He is trying not to feel betrayed by Natasha, but it still stings him a little that she never mentioned that she knew Bucky that well.

Natasha looks at Steve and notices that he is trying to hide his reaction, but she can see it in his eyes that he feels hurt. So she tries to explain a little better: "But I didn´t have feelings for him, it was a physical thing. We were just two emotionless people back then. All we talked about was who we were going to kill next and…sex." Natasha nervously bits her lips because that didn´t sound good too, so she shakes her head thinking:  _"Damn it! I´ll just shut up."_

Steve looks back at her and sees the broken expression on her face, he realizes how hard it must be for her to tell him all this because he knows that Natasha is not that person anymore, but what about Bucky, could he overcome the sins of his past and be normal again? Natasha is the strongest woman he knows and even she was still struggling with hers. Steve just tries to push those hurtful thoughts away. He looks at her exposed left shoulder and brushes his fingers at her scar where the Winter Soldier shot her: "He tried to kill you…twice. I guess he didn´t have feelings for you too."

Natasha gives him a bittersweet smile; she is a little relieved that he said that instead of being mad or hating her. She holds his hand on her shoulder as she replies: "I´m sorry for not telling you this before, but that part of my life brings me so much painful memories that I…" she can´t find the words to continue and just stare at his blue eyes.

Steve gives a faint smile taking her hand in to his lips and kissing it. Then he says softly: "It´s okay Tasha. I forgive you."

Natasha is stunned, because when Steve says that he forgives her, she feels like he is forgiving her from all her sins, like he could wash them all away, erase everything she had done wrong and she could start all over again, with a clean slate, from the day they first met. She wonders how does he do that.

Steve lets go of her hand and interrupts her thoughts speaking: "Can I ask you just one more thing? I promise this one will be easier to answer."

Natasha would answer anything to him right now, so she simply nods her head.

Steve continues: "Who else knew about your serum besides KGB and Barton?"

Natasha replies: "Only Fury did. But he thought that it would be better if we didn´t tell anyone. He was afraid that the scientists on S.H.I.E.L.D. would want to make experiments on me, and he knew I would run away if they asked to do that. So he changed a thing or two on my file at S.H.I.E.L.D."

Steve says with a questioning expression on his face: "Why would they want to run experiments on you when they could do it on me? My serum is more powerful than yours, you know?" Steve gives her a playful smiles.

Natasha smiles at the naïve soldier: "I know, but you see Steve, they have too much respect for you. You are Captain America for god´s sake! They would never take you as a test subject. But me, I´m a Russian spy with a questionable past."

Steve feels bad for her, but he understands what Natasha means: "Yeah, I guess you have a good point…one last question though. When is your real birthday?"

Natasha expression turns serious as she replies: "I don´t really know. I think I was born in the winter of 1928, but I have no idea to what day or month." And that makes her think of one person who could answer that question. It makes her remember her new-found memory of her mother, of how she killed her before she could even say a word. Her eyes start to fill with unexpected tears.

Steve notices the distress on her face and feels bad for asking so many questions: "Natasha? I´m sorry, I didn´t mean to make you sad. Tell me what is wrong?" He sits beside her on the bed.

Natasha shakes her head and looks down as the tears start to fall from her eyes. The suppressed memories that surfaced after she got injected with a drug by the KGB agents are the worst she could ever have. They always make her lose control of her emotions. The one of when she killed her mother haunts her the most. Natasha is mad for letting her walls down for Steve, for letting they become more than friends, she is only going to drag him down with her. She whispers: "I´m a horrible person Steve, you should stay away from me. I don´t deserve you…"

Steve holds her hand and squeezes it as he says: "Hey, don´t say that. I´m not perfect Natasha, I make mistakes too. Look at me, please?"

She shuts her eyes tight, tears falling on the white sheet. She whispers: "I can´t Steve…the guilt…is slowly killing me."

Steve wants to help her so bad, he is holding her hand tight as he says in a firm tone: "You don´t have to go through this alone, Natasha…let me help you." He put his other hand on her chin and lightly lifts her face so she can look at him. When he meets her tearful green eyes he says softly: "I promise, whatever it is, it won´t change my feelings for you."

Natasha tries to say something but she loses control and start sobbing. Steve put his arms around her shoulder and pull her closer so she can bury her head on his chest. He places a kiss on her red hair and tighten his grip around her as he whisper: "It´s okay, I got you." Then he remembers that the last time he saw her lose control like this, she mentioned her mother, so after a few minutes, when the sobs stops he asks: "Do you want to talk about your mother?"

Natasha backs away from his chest and looks up at his face, blinking a few times as he reaches his hand to her face and wipes her tears away. She is still paralyzed with his gentle touch so when she doesn´t replies, Steve says: "Do you want a glass of water?"

Natasha licks her lips realizing now how much her mouth is dry, so she just nods at him.

Steve gets up and gets a glass of water from the counter near the door of the room. He sits back on the same spot he was before and hands the glass to Natasha, who drinks it all at once. Steve lets her take her time to say something and just watches her patiently as she stares at the empty glass.

After a few minutes of silence, Natasha puts the empty glass on the nightstand and looks at Steve again, speaking: "I had no memories from my parents until some KGB agents found me recently. They captured me and injected me with a drug that helped me remember some suppressed memories I had, the worst one is of when I killed my mother." Natasha pause and takes a deep breath before she tells Steve the story of the cold Russian night when she had mistaken her mother for an American journalist and sliced her throat open.

Steve listens carefully and when she finally finishes, he sees the dread in her eyes. He feels some of the dread inside him too, he holds her hand tight and says: "Oh God! I´m so sorry, Natasha."

Natasha eyes are starting to tear up again, she hates feeling weak and she doesn´t want Steve´s pity. She was manipulated by KGB, yes, but she still didn´t hesitate to follow blindly her orders and coldly kill an innocent woman, so she blinks her tears away and replies harshly: "Don´t be! It´s not your fault, it´s mine! I killed her, not KGB, not you!" She doesn´t want to break down again so she gets up and makes her way to the bathroom.

"Natasha…" Steve says watching her walk away.

Natasha goes to the sink and starts throwing cold water at her face, so that maybe she can snap out of that horrible moment playing over and over in her head. When she looks up at the mirror she sees Steve standing behind her. She dries her face on the towel and he steps closer to embrace Natasha, placing his hands lightly around her belly and kissing her bare shoulder. Natasha put the towel away and leans back against him, resting her head on his chest and closing her eyes. She mutters: "I´m sorry for snapping at you."

Steve rests his chin on her head and simply replies: "It´s okay."

Natasha puts her small hands on the top of his and says: "I don´t think I will be able to sleep tonight."

Steve admires her through the mirror; she looks so beautiful when she is vulnerable, it is like he can see the real woman behind the Black Widow. The woman nobody else knows but him. The woman he loves. He replies softly: "I´ll keep you company. Are you hungry? Maybe I could get us something to eat."

Natasha meets his gaze at the mirror: "Yeah, but I hate the hospital´s food, I´d like to try some local food."

Steve smiles and says: "Okay, I could sneak in some for you"

Natasha turns around to face Steve and says with a half-smile: "See, I´m a bad influence on you, I´m already making Captain America sneak around!"

Steve chuckles and lightly kisses her on the lips.

* * *

**Hotel in Singapore – 9:30 a.m.**

Natasha was released by the doctor early that morning when the results of her exams came out all normal. Steve had stayed with her all night; they even manage to get some sleep.

Now all the Avengers are back at the hotel, sitting in the lounge area of Tony´s suite, discussing Natasha´s finding on HYDRA´s plans. Fury and Hill are on video call with them.

Fury is talking to the team: "There are two major HYDRA drops sites that required immediate attention and now we also have the Winter Soldier issue. So you are going to split up in 3 teams to cover more ground. Stark and Bannon, you are going to the drop site in Japan. Barton and Thor are going to the one in Germany and Rogers and Romanoff are going after the Winter Soldier in Russia."

Steve is worried about their missions being a little overwhelming for only a two member team to handle. He immediately thinks about his friend Sam Wilson, he knows that Sam will gladly help him, especially when the matter involves the Winter Soldier, so he speaks: "Maybe we could call for some reinforcements, I´m sure Sam Wilson would like to join us, sir."

Fury replies looking at the Captain: "Yes Captain, I thought about that too. You can call the Falcon and tell him to meet you and Romanoff in Russia." Fury looks at Maria and continues: "I´m sure Hill would be glad to help too, right?"

Maria was on another screen, she is glad to have some field work to do instead of just being inside an office with tons of paperwork, so she eagerly answers: "Yes, of course. I think I could join Barton and Thor in Germany."

Clint smiles at Maria: "Glad to have you on the team, Hill!"

Thor also replies with a smile: "It will be an honor to fight by our side, Lady Maria."

Maria nods at her teams members.

Tony than speaks up: "In that case, I´ll make a call to my good friend James Rhodes and tell him to suit up and drop by Japan to lend us an iron hand." He nudges Bruce who is sitting next to him.

Bruce grins back at the billionaire saying: "The more, the merrier."

Fury nods at Tony and says: "Very well, you all know what to do. Please try not to get yourselves killed. If anyone asks for me, I´m in D.C.´s cemetery. Good luck."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know Maria Hill is not exactly a field agent, but I´m guessing they don´t have too many people then can really trust since HYDRA infiltrate S.H.I.E.L.D.  
> So I decided to put her on the team too. Thanks for reading my story!
> 
> This chapter was inspired on the song: I´ll Stand by You by The Pretenders


	12. Calm Before the Storm

**Hotel in Singapore – Tony´s Suite**

They all have finished packing and are ready to leave to their missions, well…all but Tony Stark. So the Avengers are sitting in the lounge area of Tony´s suite, waiting for Tony to finish packing his things.

Clint is sitting in an armchair with his feet up on the coffee table, playing on his phone. Bruce is on the other armchair, sitting with his legs crossed, wearing his glasses and reading a magazine. Thor is in the right end of the big couch chewing some pop tarts. Natasha is sitting next to him with her arms crossed, staring out the balcony widow. Steve is beside her, his elbow placed on the left arm of the couch so that he could rest his chin on his hand.

Steve is watching as Tony opens every door and drawer to gather his things and he can´t help but say something about it: "Jesus Tony, do you have to use every storage in the hotel room, why didn´t you just leave your clothes in your bag? We have been here for only two days."

Tony grabs the last of his shirts from the hangers in the closet and replies: "What? This are designer shirts, it would be a crime to leave them folded in my bag. But what do you know about clothes, right Capsicle!"

"What´s the problem with my clothes, I like them." Steve looks down at his khaki pants, plaid blue shirt and leather jacket and finds nothing wrong with them.

Tony looks at him and says with a smirk on his face: "Yeah, sure. You look good…for an old man."

Clint chuckles at Tony´s remark.

Steve looks at the archer who is now smiling at him and just sighs in defeat. He´ll never understand the modern fashion.

Tony starts to fold his clothes carefully and continues to speak: "I mean, look at the Little Red, her fashion sense evolved with her, she looks like a woman from our century."

Clint´s smile disappear from his face as he sees Natasha standing up to glare at Tony.

Tony stops what he is doing half expecting the spy to attack him but she doesn´t, so he continues looking at Natasha with a nervous smile on his face: "A gorgeous woman, if I may add. But you had plenty of time to change your fashion sense, right! The poor Cap here just stayed frozen for 70 years, so I´ll overlook that detail on you Capsicle!"

Natasha takes a deep breath to calm her nerves and says: "I´m going to the lobby." She walks out of the room giving a deadly stare at Clint as she passes by him, and then slams the door behind her.

Everyone jumps on their sits with the loud sound of the door closing and stop what they are doing to stare at Tony, who is frozen at his place with a folded shirt in his hand.

Clint breaks the silence: "I´m dead. You are probably next Stark. Maybe you should sleep with your armor on."

Steve chuckles with that thought then he says: "Stop playing with fire, Stark. You´ll get burn."

Bruce adds with a shy smile: "Literally burn."

Tony snaps out of his little panic moment and finishes putting his clothes on his bag, zipping it close: "Good thing we are going separate ways then. I´m sure the Cap can calm her nerves down until we all get back to the Avengers Tower." He looks at Steve with a mischief smile on his face.

Steve just rolls his eyes and look away.

Then Tony takes advantage of Natasha absence in the room to give the news to Clint: "Speaking of which, Legolas, we were right. Captain Purity loves her like we suspected."

Steve looks at Tony and then at Clint, not quite understanding what is happening.

After watching closely Steve´s reaction when Natasha was hurt and the way they were looking at each other on the hospital, Clint had no doubt about that, but he didn´t think Steve would share his feeling that fast so Clint looks surprised to Tony: "What? He told her? How did you found out?"

Thor has a broad smile on his face, he looks at Steve: "You told her about your feelings? That is marvelous news my friend! I am happy for the two of you!

Steve looks confused at Thor: "What? No I…" He stops not knowing what to say and glares at Tony, fighting the urge to punch him in the face.

Tony ignores the angry look Steve is giving him, and continues speaking to Clint: "No! He haven´t told her yet, but he told me."

Steve stands up and confronts Tony: "What! I haven´t told you anything Stark! You assumed that!"

Tony pokes Steve on the chest as he replies: "Yeah? Well then, tell me I´m wrong! Tell me that you don´t love the redhead spy!"

Bruce is amused by the discussion and just watches the scene, glancing at Steve with curiosity.

Thor puts another pop tart on his mouth but keeps looking at his friends, interested in the conversation too.

Steve poorly tries to hide the fact that he does love Natasha from the others: "What! I do…I mean…I don´t…have to answer that Stark!"

Tony jumps up and down pointing at Steve and looking at Clint: "See! He can´t deny it! He loves her! And I bet 50 bucks that the redhead loves him back, what do you think Legolas?"

Clint knows that if Natasha loves Steve, she is not going to let any of them discover that so easily, so he looks at Tony with a playful smile: "Make it a hundred!"

Tony replies with a grin: "Done!"

Steve loses his patient and shouts: "What the hell is wrong with you two?" He looks at Clint who only shrugs his shoulders.

Tony just pretends he hadn´t heard Steve and starts to think out loud: "The only problem is that is going to be a little tricky to get her to confess that. Maybe the Cap can let us know her reply when he tells her that he loves her."

Natasha sneaks in the room without anyone noticing, hearing the last part of Tony sentence and startles the guys when she speaks up with a suspicious look on her face: "Who loves who?"

Everyone turns to look at her, surprised to see Natasha standing behind the couch.

Thor swallows his pop tart, smiles at her and innocently replies to Natasha: "The Captain, he loves you!"

Tony tries to hold back his laughter by putting a hand on his mouth. He can´t believe the God of Thunder just said that.

Clint looks at Thor, shaking his head with disbelieve: "Dude!"

Bruce just gives a half-smile and look to Steve, who is now blushing, and then back to Natasha, who has a blank expression on her face.

Steve feels his face burning, but he manages to smile at Natasha as their eyes meet.

Natasha tries not to smile as she looks at Steve, she has a reputation to maintain. So she just stays collected and says in a cold tone: "Huh, okay. Thanks Cap." She then looks at the others and continues calmly: "The car is waiting to take us to the airport, let´s go." She turns around, leaving the room.

Thor and Bruce exchange confused glances, not quite understanding what just happened.

Tony is shocked, he takes his hand from his mouth saying: "I can´t believe it, did she said  _thanks Cap_?"

Clint has a broad smile on his face, he looks at Tony: "You own me a hundred bucks, Stark!"

Thor realizes his mistake and stands up to put a hand on Steve´s shoulder: "I apologize my friend Steven, I was certain that Lady Natasha shared your feelings. I shouldn´t have said that."

Steve simply smiles at him and replies: "It´s okay Thor. No harm done."

Thor notices that Steve doesn´t look sad or disappointed, which he finds a little strange, but he said too much already and decides to let it go. He nods at Steve and walks out of the room.

Tony takes his wallet out of his pocket and gives the money to Clint: "Damn it, Legolas!"

Clint says with a smirk: "Always a pleasure to play with you, Tin Man!" he grabs the money, stands up and leaves the room too.

Bruce stands up, leaving the magazine on the coffee table. He gives a sympathetic look to Steve and then he speaks to Tony: "Hey, Tony. Enough playing around, time to go!" he picks up Tony´s bag from the bed and throws it at him.

Tony catches the flying bag and responds rolling his eyes at Bruce: "Okay dad! I´m coming!"

Tony stops beside Steve and says: "I´m sorry Cap. I thought the redhead would react differently to that. But don´t give up, maybe there is still hope!" He taps Steve on the shoulder and follows Bruce out of the room.

Steve smiles to himself because he knows what Natasha is doing, she doesn´t want to give the others any hint that they are together, or at least is what he thinks she is doing. His smile fades when he realizes that maybe she wasn´t ready to hear that. This can have consequences on their relationship; she could start to push him away. He starts to feel nervous about it, so he takes a deep breath and quickly leaves the room too.

* * *

The ride to the airport is a silent one. At first, everybody is felling a little awkward by what just happened in the hotel but then they all start to think that they are going on missions against HYDRA, which is never an easy task. The tension is in the air. When they get to the airport, the car drops them at the hangars area. Tony had arranged two private jets, one for him and Bruce and another for Steve and Natasha. Since Clint is the only expert pilot on the team, he and Thor are going on the quinjet.

They all say their goodbyes, wish one another good luck and go their separate ways.

Natasha gets in their jet, followed by Steve. Once they are inside, she turns to him and quickly puts a hand behind his neck, pulling him down to kiss him passionately. Steve eyes widen with the sudden move, but when their lips touch, he slowly closes his eyes and wraps his arms around her waist pulling her closer and kissing her back. When they break the kiss, Steve looks at her and asks smiling: "What was that for?"

Natasha says looking seriously at him: "Do you really love me Steve?"

Steve still has his arms around her; he looks into her eyes as he answers: "Yes, I do."

Natasha holds his gaze for a moment, she sees how honest his blue eyes are; he is telling the true. A huge smile appears on her face as she replies softly: "Good, because I love you too." She lightly kisses him again. She feels him smiling against her lips and then he hugs her so tight that her feet leave the floor for a moment. Natasha groans in pain with Steve´s grip on her waist, she is not fully recovered from her injures yet.

Steve quickly puts her down and says: "I´m so sorry Tasha, are you okay?"

She only nods her head at him.

Steve let go of her and continues: "Sorry about the hotel situation too, Stark kept pushing me and you know that I´m a terrible liar, unlike you. I confess that I was a little worried after your reply back there!"

Natasha laughs and sits at one of the spacious chair inside the jet: "Sorry, Steve! I have a reputation to maintain, the Black Widow doesn´t fall in love." She winks at him as he sits in the chair in front of her, only a small table is between them.

The pilot announces that they have permission to take off, so they both buckle the seat belt and stay silent.

Natasha looks out the widow and Steve is still thinking about what she said and for some reason he wants to solve all the mysteries of this woman sitting in front of him.

Steve keeps looking at her as the plane gains altitude and then he breaks the silence asking: "What about Natasha Romanoff, has she ever fallen in love?"

Natasha meets his eyes, with a hard expression on her face, she slowly answers: "Once…when I was really young...before I became the Black Widow. I met a combat pilot, his name was Alexei Shostakov. We were both KGB agents…we were married for a few years and then…he died." She stares out the widow again.

Steve lost count of how many times Natasha surprised him on the last two days, but he tries to leave his curiosity aside and just remains silent, trying not to cause any more pain to her. He remembers of his lost love, Peggy, and decides that maybe it is his turn to tell her something about his past: "I have loved a woman too, during my time in the war. But I never got to tell her how I felt until it was too late."

Natasha looks back at Steve and asks softly: "What happened? Did she die?"

Steve takes a deep breath; put his hands on the top of table and looks at them as he nervously plays with his fingers. He replies: "No. She is still alive, but she is in a nursing home. I visit her when I can, but it is getting harder because she has Alzheimer and most of the times when I go see her, it is like the first time we met after I got out of the ice, I have to watch her reaction all over again, she tells me how much she missed me, almost breaking down and then I have to explain to her again how I am still alive."

Natasha reaches for his left hand, squeezing it and then says: "I´m so sorry Steve."

Steve shakes his head and looks at her small hand on the top of his: "It´s okay, she moved on, she got married, had kids, she lived a long and happy live. That´s what comforts me."

Natasha caresses his hand with her thumb and continues: "Is she the woman in the picture we saw when we were in Camp Leigh?"

Steve meets her eyes and gives her a half-smile; nothing gets past the spy without being noticed: "Yes, her name is Margaret Carter but we used to call her Peggy. She helped Howard Stark to found S.H.I.E.L.D."

Natasha raises an eyebrow: "Carter? Is she related to Sharon?"

Steve takes a deep breath and replies: "Yes, Sharon is her niece. I found out that later, it was one of the reasons I didn´t ask her out. It´s just too weird for me to date Peggy´s niece."

Natasha asks with a questioning expression in her face: "One of the reasons?"

Steve smiles at her and put his right hand on her face, caressing her cheek: "The other reason was you."

Natasha gives him a sweet smile: "You really love me don´t you?"

Steve is intrigued by her doubt; he puts his right hand down on the table again and replies: "Yes! Why is it so hard for you to believe that?"

Natasha lets go of his left hand and looks down, remembering that a memory of Alexei had recently came back to haunt her too.

Natasha says in a low voice: "I guess...you are the first man in all these years that really loved me." Tears are starting to form on her eyes as she continues slowly: "Alexei didn´t…love me…I discovered that he had faked his death…because I didn´t want to join the Black Widow program. I just wanted to have a normal life with him."

A single tear escape from Natasha´s eyes and she quickly wipe it away and continues: "So KGB had faked his death and lied to me and so did Alexei." She looks up at Steve blinking her tears away: "I only became the Black Widow because I thought he was dead, I had nothing else to lose. And when I discovered, several years later, that it was all a lie, I tried to leave but they suppressed my memory again, I didn´t remember that...until my encounter with the KGB agents on Ukraine."

Steve furrows his brown and blinks a few times. Again Natasha past brings a lot of information for him to process. How did she manage to carry this entire burden alone, he is not sure. But at least now she is sharing some of it with him.

Steve leans over the small table and kiss Natasha´s lips softly, then with his intense and honest gaze, he says: "You are the strongest and most amazing woman I have ever know and I do love you Natasha, with all my heart."

Natasha cups his face with her hands, her eyes tearing up again, but now with joy. She smiles and replies: "I guess all these years of suffering were worth it because in the end it led me to you, Steve." She kisses him passionately and this time they don´t let go until they are out of breath.


	13. Ready to Go

**Germany - outskirts of Hamburg, twilight**

Maria is tracking the quinjet in her phone´s GPS. The sun is almost set as she walks in the middle of a field. She looks ahead to where the GPS is pointing and sees a bunch of trees. As she walks into the tree line, she hears someone coming from behind, so she quickly turns around, drawing her gun.

Clint puts his hands up and says: "Wow, Hill put that thing down, it´s me."

Maria let out a breath and puts her hand gun down, back into its place on her right thigh as she replies looking at Clint: "Barton, you could at least give me a heads up before scaring the hell out of me."

Clint gives a half-smile to Maria: "Sorry, I was just securing the area. Nice reflexes, though! Come on, Thor is waiting on the jet." He turns around making his way into the trees and Maria follows him.

The quinjet is landed at a small glade with the back door open. They walk up the ramp and enter the jet. Thor is sitting there, wearing his armor and red cape, playing with his hammer. He stands up and turns to the Maria as he sees her: "Greetings Lady Maria, are you ready for battle?"

Maria looks at the tall God in front of her and replies: "Yes, with the two of you by my side it´ll be a piece of cake!"

Thor looks quizzically at her: "Huh? A piece of cake?"

Clint smiles at Thor, tapping him on the shoulder: "She means it´s going to be an easy task!"

Thor gives a broad smile to Maria as realization hits him. Maria smiles back at him.

Clint turns on the video screen on the jet where a photo of a big warehouse appears. He starts to explain their mission: "Okay, so this is our target, a HYDRA warehouse a couple of miles from here, it is a weapon´s dropping site. The biggest problem is going to be the laser cannon guarding the entrance, it´s a deadly weapon. I don´t wanna risking it doing damage to the quinjet because we might need the jet in case the plan goes wrong. So, we are arriving on foot and I guess since Thor can move like lightning, he could strike that thing down without much trouble, right?" Clint looks expectantly at Thor.

Thor gives him a playful smile and says: "Piece of cake, my friend!"

Maria and Clint smile at Thor and then Clint says: "Good, just don´t let it hit you or it will turn you into dust."

Thor expression turns serious again as he nods at Clint.

Clint looks to Maria and continues: "So, once Thor takes care of that, Maria, you and I are going in. I´ll cover you as you enter the warehouse and plant the bomb. And Thor, you just keep the HYDRA soldier on the outside busy until we get out."

Maria nods at Clint: "Okay, that sounds like a good plan, let´s do it!

* * *

**Japan – an industrial area in Yokohama, late night**

Tony and Bruce are inside a black Audi, parked in an isolated road. They are looking out at the night sky, waiting for James Rhodes to arrive.

Tony breaks the silence and says looking at his watch: "If my math is right, and it always is, he should be arriving right…now!"

Three seconds later, Rhodes lands in front of the car, wearing his War Machine suit.

Bruce grins to Tony as the billionaire chuckles at himself.

Tony gets out of the car and says: "It´s about time you showed up! How was the ride?" He extends his hand to his trusted friend.

Rhodes shakes Tony´s hand with his iron grip and says: "You know I love flying in this suit man, is sweet!"

"How about a race when we are finished here?" Tony says with a smirk on his face: "Last one to arrive at the Avengers Tower pays for dinner!"

Rhodes replies: "Okay, I´m in! So, what are we doing here?"

Tony gestures for him to enter the car. When the War Machine sits on the back, the suspension of the car lowers with the heavy weight. Tony sits on the driver sit again. Bruce turns around and greets Rhodes: "Hello Colonel Rhodes, nice to have you on the team!"

Rhodes lightly tap Bruce´s shoulder and says: "Hey, Dr. Banner, thanks. Am I going to meet the Hulk today?"

Bruce gives a shy smile to Rhodes as he replies: "Yeah, probably, but he is not very friendly, so be careful around him."

Rhodes nods at Bruce: "Sure, man! Don´t worry about it!"

Tony brings up his tablet to show images of their mission: "Okay people, this is supposed to be a pharmaceutical industry, but is actually a HYDRA dropping site and is also where they develop biological weapons." He looks at Rhodes and continues: "Our armor will protect us from any biohazard material, but you Doc" he looks at Bruce "should be careful, we don´t know if the green guy can be affected by any of these weapons if they decide to use it against us."

Bruce nods at Tony: "I´ll try my best to avoid that."

"So, are we going to blow up the building?" Rhodes asks.

Bruce looks at him and responds: "We can´t do that, since we don´t know exactly what they are messing with. If we blow up the building, we might unleash biological or chemical threat to the population around us."

Tony nods and continues in a sarcastic tone: "Yeah, and that would be just too easy!" he smiles a little and then continues: "Anyway, the industry is a few blocks from here. We will attack at the same time, Hulk on the front, War Machine on the back and me from above. We we´ll force them to split their forces in three, neutralize the defenses and when the building is clear, we´ll gather all the biological material. Bruce will select the biohazard material from the others so that he can take the necessary measures for discarding everything properly, and then we can go to the fun part and blow up the whole thing!"

"Okay, and what are we expecting to be up against?" Rhodes asks

Tony replies: "Aside the biological weapons, nothing too fancy, just soldiers with machine guns, grenades, bazookas..."

Rhodes interrupts Tony: "Bazookas? Okay, I´ll watch out for that...I´m ready!" He rubs his iron hands together.

Tony smirks and says excited: "Okay! Let´s roll!" He looks at Bruce who shrugs his shoulders and says with apathy: "Sure, let´s get this over with."

* * *

**Russia – Moscow´s downtown, evening**

Natasha and Steve had just picked up Sam Wilson from the airport. Once they were all inside the standard car they rented, Steve and Natasha filled in Sam with the details of their mission.

Steve is driving. He stops in front of a tall building. Natasha gets out from the passenger´s sit and Sam from the back. They are all in casual clothes, trying to keep the low profile. Natasha got a hood to cover her red hair, and Steve and Sam are wearing caps. They go into an alley and climb the fire escape stairs to reach the top of the building. At the roof, they walk near the edge where they stop. Natasha is standing between the two men as she starts to look with a binocular at the opposite building, which happens to be KGB´s headquarters.

Natasha hands the binocular to Steve as she says: "As I expected, the building is heavily guarded, and I know their security system is really good. I don´t think we will be able to infiltrate the building without being noticed."

Steve is searching the building with the binocular as he replies: "There must be a way in, we need more information to figure out when and where the Winter Soldier is planning to assassinate General Basov."

Sam speaks looking at Natasha: "Why don´t you just leave a hint to KGB, so that they know the Winter Soldier is still working with HYDRA?"

Steve takes the binocular down and answers his friend: "Because we are trying to capture him alive."

Natasha completes Steve´s thought turning to Sam: "If KGB finds out about his treason, they will not hesitate to kill him. Steve thinks that if we get to him first, we could try to bring him back to his senses, stop the assassination and spare Bucky´s life."

Sam looks concerned at Steve as he says: "I see. Steve, I have helped you before and I´ll help you now. But, the last time we fought with the Winter Soldier, he didn't seem to remember you, so I just don´t want you to put your hopes up too much, okay?"

Steve glances at Natasha; she said the same thing to him earlier, on their way to Russia. She gives him a sympathetic look and then Steve turns to Sam and replies: "Yes, I´m trying to prepare myself for that. Thanks Sam. I really appreciate your help."

Sam nods at Steve: "No problem, man."

There is a long pause, each of them lost in their thought, staring at the city night lights, trying to get their minds ready for what they are about to face.

Natasha breaks the silence: "So, I´m going inside KGB, undercover, and try to get us some lead." Natasha says that looking at the KGB building.

Steve immediately shoots her a worried look: "No, that´s too dangerous Natasha!"

Natasha stares at Steve with a determinate expression on her face: "Steve, it´s the only way. Trust me. Unless one of you is an expert spy that can speak Russian…"

Steve and Sam exchange glances and both stay silent.

When neither man say anything, Natasha speaks again: "I thought so. And it´s nothing I haven´t done before, I can handle it. So tomorrow I´ll go shopping for my cover to start the mission."

Steve let out an exasperation breath, he doesn´t like the idea, but they are out of options.

Sam looks at the redhead spy and says: "Okay, so we´ll just stay ready in case you need back up." He looks at Steve.

Steve says without much confidence: "Yes, I suppose that will be the plan of action then."

Sam nods and starts walking toward the stairs to climb down.

Steve stares intensely at Natasha, who takes a step closer to him, meeting his gaze. She knows that he is worried about her so she puts a hand on his arm and says: "I´ll be careful, I promise." She gets on the tip of her toes to kiss the tall soldier on the cheek.

Sam is just starting to climb down the stairs when he sees the scene of the spy kissing the soldier. He knew there was a connection between those two. He smiles and starts to go down the stairs.

Steve closes his eyes as he feels Natasha´s gentle kiss and takes a deep breath. When she pulls away, he opens his eyes and finds her smiling to him: "Come on. Let´s go back to the hotel and get some rest." She says walking past him toward the stairs.

Steve turns around and follows her, watching her small figure in front of him. His jaw muscles are tense as he grit his teeth, he knew this mission wasn´t going to be easy, but he can´t help feeling nervous about it, especially when Natasha is so close to her enemies.

The three make their way down stairs and walk away from the building. They are making their way back to the car. When they turn the corner, an old man crashes with Natasha, knocking both of them down. Natasha´s hood fall from her head, exposing her shoulders length red locks.

Steve helps the man up, picking up the grocery bag he was holding and handing it to him.

Sam was about to lend a hand to Natasha, but she quickly stands up by herself before he can help her. She apologizes to the old man in Russian. The old man adjusts his glasses up his nose, smiles at Natasha and goes on his way.

Steve places a hand on Natasha´s arm asking: "Are you okay?"

Natasha puts her hood back on and says looking at Steve: "Yeah, fine." She looks back suspiciously at the old man, but he just keeps walking away.

Steve is still staring at her with a concerned look on his face. She turns to him, just shakes her head and resumes walking to the car. Steve and Sam follow her.

When he is at a safe distance, the old man picks up a phone from his pocket and speaks in Russian with someone on the line: "It´s her, the Black Widow is back. I´ll keep you posted." He enters a dark blue car and drives away.

Back in the hotel, Natasha is in her room alone, on the same floor, two doors after the one Steve and Sam are sharing

Natasha takes a shower and changes clothes. She is drying her hair with a towel when she hears a knock at her door. She puts the towel down and asks: "Who is it?"

"It´s me, Steve." Natasha opens the door and Steve greets her: "Hey Tasha, Sam and I are going out to eat something, do you want to come with us?"

She leans on the doorway and answers: "No, thanks. I don´t think it is wise for me to be walking around Moscow, someone might recognize me."

Steve pauses for a moment and just admires her all the way down and then up again. Natasha is wearing a loose purple t-shirt that is hanging off her right shoulder exposing her sport black bra, black leggings and bare footed. Her face is clean of makeup and her red hair is wet, yet she looks so sexy, he just wants to hold her and kiss her full lips, but he can´t, because Sam is coming their way.

Natasha nudges Steve on the arm to get him out of his trance. Steve blinks a few times and blushes. He clears his throat and continues smiling: "Okay, I´ll bring you something then."

Natasha smiles too: "Okay, thanks Cap. Try not to call too much attention and be careful boys!"

Sam walks past her door and she smiles at him. He nods at her and says: "Yes, ma´am!"

Steve takes one last glance at her and then follows Sam, who is making his way to the elevator.

Natasha closes the door and goes to the window on the opposite side of her room. She can see the front yard of the hotel, where the main entrance and the large parking lot are. In a few minutes she sees Steve and Sam walking out of the hotel and getting into the car. She keeps looking around and as soon as Steve drives away, she sees the old man who bumped on her appearing from behind a dark blue car. He is talking to someone on the phone.

She thinks:  _"I knew it! That old man was following us!"_  She is a little apprehensive that maybe someone is going after Steve and Sam, but after a few minutes, a black van parks in front of the hotel and four men get out. They walk toward the hotel´s entrance.  _"Shit, they are coming for me! Okay, slightly change of plans!"_  She thinks as she realize what is happening.

Natasha quickly grabs her belt with her throwing knifes and puts it around the inside of the waistline of her legging. She grabs another couple of small knifes and puts one inside her sport bra, another strapped around her left biceps under the sleeve of her shirt, and the last one on her right ankle. She moves fast to pick up her black combat boots from her bag and put them on. She grabs a piece of paper and a pen from the nightstand and writes something on it, she folds it and draws a star on it. Just as she puts the note on the nightstand, someone kicks the door of her room open. Natasha turns around and recognizes the four agents that got her in Ukraine. They come in holding up guns and the one in front says in Russian, with an evil smirk: "Did you miss me?" He is the one that injected her with the drug that brought back her memories.

Natasha just tilts her head to the side, narrows her eyes and says in her nature tongue: "No, not really. I never got you name agent…?"

His right hand is holding his hand gun, pointing it at her chest as he speaks: "Dmitri Zarkov."

Natasha keeps her collected poise as she slowly walks towards him and replies: "Okay, Zarkov. You´re on the top of my - to kill - list."

He laughs and says: "I gotta admit that it´s harder than I thought to break you, Black Widow. Maybe I should just kill you this time."

Natasha stops only a few inches from his hand gun: "Not if I kill you first" and with a swift move she grabs his right hand and twist his arm, turning him around, using him as a human shield, wrapping her other arm tightly around his neck. The other agents are frozen in their places with the sudden move. Natasha makes Zarkov shoot one of the KGB agents in front of them in the chest, he falls bleeding. Before the remaining two can react she takes the gun from Zarkov´s hand and kicks him on the butt so hard that he falls on the other two standing agents, who hold him. Zarkov turns around grabbing a machine gun from his companion, but when he faces Natasha, she shoots him in the head, killing him before he can do anything. He falls dead on the ground. The other agent starts to shoot at Natasha with his machine gun. She slides on the top of the bed and gets down behind it. The agent beside him throws a gas grenade and picks up his gun from the dead Zarkov´s hands before they quickly leave the room, closing the door. Natasha starts coughing as the variant of the tear gas starts to fill her lungs, she could easily make an escape through the window but this is her ticket to get inside KGB, and she is going to use it. So she just sits leaning against the bed and wait for the gas to take its effects on her. She closes her burning eyes, cough a couple of times, starts to feel dizzy and slowly passes out.


	14. Action!

**Germany - outskirts of Hamburg, evening**

Clint and Maria are crouched near the wired fence that stands between them and HYDRA´s warehouse. Clint throws some pebbles at the fence. They can hear the buzzing sound of electricity and see a flicker of light as the pebbles hit it. The fence is electrified.

Maria looks around and spots a panel at the wall on the warehouse: "That must be the power source." She points at the panel and looks at Clint.

Clint takes his bow from his back and barely aims as he shoots an arrow and hits the panel. The arrow releases an electrical discharge and shorts the circuit on the panel. Then he throws some pebbles at the fence again to make sure it worked. Nothing happens, so he nods at Maria who nods back at him.

Clint whispers in his communicator: "Thor, we are in position. It´s your turn!"

Thor is far behind them, he hears his friends on his com and goes flying toward the warehouse with his hammer in his hand. As soon as he got closer, the alarm of the building goes off and a metal door opens on the top of the warehouse. Thor notices the laser cannon that Clint talked about coming out from it. It starts to fire at him.

Clint and Maria can see their friend flying by and they watch intensely as Thor easily dodges the several blue laser beams that the remote-controlled cannon was firing at him.

Thor get within reach and smashes his hammer at the cannon´s tip. This first hit bends the metal, already taking the cannon out of function, but just to be sure, Thor hits it a couple of more times until the cannon is a pile of junk.

Now, several HYDRA soldiers are coming out of the warehouse to see the God of Thunder standing in the rooftop, a broad smile on his face. He looks down at the soldiers and asks with his booming voice: "Who is next?"

They open fire with machine guns at Thor, who flies off the roof before the bullets hit him and takes charge at a group of soldier on the patio. Thor lands on his knee between them, putting his hammer down and making the earth tremble, knocking several soldiers down. He stands up and starts to wave his hammer around, hitting one by one of the remaining soldier.

That is the moment for Clint and Maria to go in. They climb the fence up and jump down on the other side, then quickly get to the door that the soldiers came out. Once inside, Maria draws her handgun and leads the way into the hallway with Clint close behind her holding his bow, glancing at every corner as the walk. They get to a big double door, Maria slowly opens it and sees a great room which has a lot of wooden crates piled up.

Clint speaks in a low tone: "Go! I´ll cover you!" and then he climbs up on the top of a high pile of crates near the entrance, where he can see most of the room. It seems to be clear of enemies. He watches as Maria makes her way around the crates to the center of the room.

When Maria arrives at the middle of the stocked warehouse, she stops and looks around for a moment before putting her handgun back into its holster in her thigh. She kneels on her left leg and takes the small but powerful bomb from her backpack. She puts it carefully behind a crate, making sure it is armed. She pushes a small green button and a red light is now pulsing on the side of the device. She puts the backpack on her back again and was about to stand up when Clint says on her com: "Hill, get out of there, FAST!"

Maria, as an instinct, draws her handgun and looks around. She doesn´t see anything so she starts to quickly make her way back to the entrance of the room, when she hears a growl. She turns around and sees a large metal hound, with red lights on its eye´s sockets, snarling at her. She points her gun at it, but before she could open fire, an arrow comes flying from behind her, hitting the hound and releasing an acid substance which makes the robotic beast growls as it shakes the substance away from his back, but it doesn´t seem to affect it. At least it gives Maria time to turn and run away.

Clint watches as his acid arrow did nothing to the metal hound.  _"It was supposed to melt the damn thing!"_  He thinks shocked.

Maria stops beside the pile of crates that Clint is on top, she is panting, but she manages to shouts from below Clint: "Barton, what the hell is that?"

"I don´t know!" Clint answers as he shoots an explosive arrow at the hound. The metal hound howls, but as the smoke disappears, Clint sees the enemy is still standing and it is now looking at him, showing his iron teeth, so he starts to climb down saying to Maria: "I think I only made it angrier!"

Maria glances back and sees the hound coming at her with his iron teeth showing from his metal jaws. Clint lands besides her and pushes her out of the room shouting: "Keep going Hill!"

Maria runs as fast as she can to exit of the warehouse with Clint right behind her.

Maria runs across the patio and reaches the wired fence. She quickly makes her away up and jumps down on the other side.

Clint starts to climb the fence too, but the hound reaches him and closes its metal jaws on his left ankle. Clint screams in pain as the hound pull him down, back to the ground.

Maria turns around and starts shooting at the hound, it stops attacking Clint for a moment but her bullets bounce away on its metal skin: "Damn it! That thing must be made of adamantium! My bullets don´t even dent it!"

Clint sits up and faces the hound as it charges at him again. He put his bow up to block the attack, and the hound bites the bow with such strength that it breaks it in half. "Shit! My bow!" Clint shouts as he watches the hound shakes one piece of his bow around in its mouth.

Maria quickly talks in her com: "Thor, we need help at the back of the building! NOW!"

Clint tries to stand up, but the pain in his ankle is too much, so he crawls backward, until his back hits the wired fence. The metal hound drops the piece of the bow and snarls at Clint again, he is going to pounce at him. Clint put his arm up to protect his face as it jumps at him again, but the impact of its metal jaws never came.

Thor appears flying from nowhere and hits the side of the hound, sending it several meters away from Clint. He extends a hand to Clint: "Are you hurt?"

Clint takes his arm down and looks up relievied at Thor, who is standing in front of him. He takes his hand to stand up: "That thing bit my ankle, it hurts like hell..." He grimace as he tries to put his left feet down without success and then leans his back on the fence for support, since he can´t put weight on his left ankle.

Maria got her eyes on the hound and shouts: "Look out, the dog from hell is up again!"

Thor turns around to see the metal hound running to them. He starts to swirl his hammer on his right hand and throws it with full force at the hound. It makes a loud metal sounds as it hits the hound, the impact sending it flying through the warehouse wall. Thor calls his hammer back to his hand and shouts: "Stay down, metal beast!"

Thor turns to Clint: "Hold on to me my friend, I will help you."

Clint put his arm on Thor´s shoulder for support as Thor grabs him and flies around the fence, landing next to Maria on the other side. He says: "Lady Maria, did you fulfill your part of the quest?

Maria nods at him and Thor continues: "Good, then we are done here. Let´s return to the jet and tend to Hawkeye´s wound."

The three team mates walk away from the warehouse, Thor is supporting Clint since he can´t walk on his own.

When they are at a safe distance, Maria speaks up: "I just need to do one more thing." She grabs the detonator from her backpack and pushes the button.

They turn around and watch as the warehouse blow up in flames.

"Take that, damn dog! I can´t believe you broke my bow in two!" Clint shouts angrily, looking at the flaming warehouse.

Maria smiles sympathetically at Clint: "Better your bow than your face."

Thor laughs looking at Maria: "Indeed!" Then he says to Clint: "Don´t worry my friend, I´m certain that Lord Tony can craft you another bow."

Clint says sadly: "I guess so. It´s just that I feel...naked without my bow." Clint sighs then continues still irritated: "Just help me get the hell out of here, because my ankle is killing me! Damn adamantium dog!"

* * *

**Japan – an industrial area in Yokohama, late night**

Bruce makes his way to the front gate of the pharmaceutical industry and mutters to himself: "Time to get angry."

The two HYDRA soldiers guarding the front gate spot him as he turns into the Hulk. The Hulk growls and smashes the front gate with a punch. The soldiers start to fire at him and the alarm goes off. The bullets from the machine guns only make the Hulk angrier, so he charges at the soldiers and grabs each them in one hand, the soldiers scream with panic at being stuck at the big green monster´s hands. Then Hulk knocks their heads together so hard that, even with helmets, they fall unconscious.

More soldiers come out from the building, making their way to Hulk at the front gate.

On the roof, a soldier is aiming at Hulk with a bazooka. He was about to fire when Iron Man shoots one of his beams at the soldier, sending him falling off the roof before he was able to fire. Iron Man lands at the strategic position and opens fire at the soldiers down on the front patio, who are attacking Hulk.

War Machine appears on the back where some soldiers are inside a bunker with heavy artillery machine guns. They start to fire high caliber bullets at the Hulk, who is now backing away with his arms up on his face trying to defend himself from the painful bullets. War Machine gets them by surprise and shoots small missiles that go inside the small gap on the bunker. Several HYDRA soldiers fly out of the bunker as it blows up.

Iron Man, who saw the scene, speaks up in his com: "Nice shot, Rhodey!"

Hulk manages to catch a break. He notices five more soldiers coming out of the facility. Four of them are taking position in front of him to shoot and one of the soldiers was about to throw a gas grenade at him. He stares at them and growls so loud that all the soldiers fall back down, frightened with the unexpected sound.

Iron Man laughs at the sight: "I love playing with the green guy!"

The gas grenade goes off when it falls to the ground near the soldiers. They all start to cough and gasp for air. Hulk is mad and inpatient, he can´t just wait for the biological weapon to do its work on the soldiers, so he runs and kicks the grenade far up the sky and finishes smashing the soldiers down. The soldiers all stay still, lying on the ground unconscious.

War Machine lands besides Iron Man and says: "Wow, that´s is definitely out of the park!" Rhodes watches the gas grenades flies away and then continues, looking down at Hulk: "There isn´t much to do when that guy is around. He is a total beast!"

"Yeah, but it is fun to watch! Come on, you get inside of the building to see if there is anyone left while I get Bruce some clothes." Tony flies off the roof and lands near Hulk saying: "Hey, big guy, nice work! Could you please call the doctor back for us again?"

Hulk snarls to Tony and then starts to go back to Bruce Banner.

War Machine lands behind Iron Man and goes inside the building.

Iron Man flies off to their car that is parked a few blocks back, grabs a bag from the trunk and then returns to the patio where Bruce is un-hulking.

War Machine goes in a small lobby and looks around. He walks behind a counter on the right. There are screens with images of the several security cameras. He looks at the images and sees no one standing, except for Iron Man who is handing some clothes to Bruce that is now back to his normal self. So he says in his com: "Tony, all clear."

Tony responds: "Okay, Rhodey." He turns to Bruce and continues: "Come on Doc, put on the hazmat suit, you are going to sort the  _dangerous_  from  _not so dangerous_  biohazard material for us."

Bruce starts to put on the protective garment. He grins to Tony and says in a sarcastic tone: "Yeah…that sounds fun."

* * *

**Russia – A hotel in Moscow, early night**

Steve and Sam arrive back at the hotel. Steve is picking up the food he brought back to Natasha from the back seat of the car as Sam gets out.

Sam spots the police car, with the lights of the siren on, parked in front of the hotel and says with a concerned tone: "Steve! We may have a problem, man."

Steve quickly gets out of the car and follow Sam´s gaze. He feels a chill go down his spine when he sees the police car. He drops the bag of food at the front seat and glances at Sam with a worried expression.

Sam meet Steve´s worried eyes and says: "Call her!"

Steve strides to the entrance of the hotel as he takes his phone out of his pocket and calls Natasha. Sam is beside him, he is almost running to keep up with Steve´s pace.

The phone is ringing but there is no answer. Steve whispers to himself: "Come on Natasha! Pick up!"

They pass unnoticed through the lobby where a police officer is talking to the woman in the front desk.

When they stop in front of the elevator, Sam presses the button.

Steve is in panic as Natasha´s phone goes to the voice mail. He hangs up and puts the phone back in his pocket. His jaws are now tense as he grit his teeth nervously and the time waiting for the elevator seems like an eternity, so he loses his patient and decides to run up the stairs, since they are on the third floor.

When Steve arrives at their floor, he turns to the direction of Natasha´s room and his blood runs cold when he sees that a police officer is standing in front of Natasha´s door. He runs to the door, ignoring the police officer, and burst the door open, quickly entering the room.

The officer goes in after Steve and starts saying things to him with an angry tone, but Steve isn´t listening, and even if he was, he wouldn´t understand since the cop was speaking in Russian.

Steve sees two dead men bodies on the floor, one shoot on the head, the other on the chest. There are bullets hole on the wall near the bed and he can still smell the scent of what it seems to be tear gas in the room. He peaks inside the bathroom but there is nothing there. He thinks:  _"They took Natasha. Damn it!"_

Sam arrives at the scene and tries to get the cop´s attention: "I´m sorry, officer. We are Americans, do you speak English?"

The cop turns around to Sam and speaks angrily: "You can´t be in here! This is a crime scene!"

Steve kneels beside the dead bodies and search for clues inside their pockets, but there is nothing on them, not even IDs. Someone must have cleaned them before they left.

Sam knows that they can´t reveal their identities to anyone, it could ruin their mission, so he tries to distract the cop a while longer: "Our friend was in this room, we just want to know what happened to her. Have you seen her? She is a white, medium height woman with red hair."

Steve is still looking around for any clues. He sees Natasha´s phone on the nightstand, he goes to pick it up and notices a folded paper with a star draw on it. He feels a little hopeful as he reaches for it because he knows it is from Natasha. He takes the paper and reads it:

_I´M IN_

_BE AT THE OPPOSITE TOWER AT MIDNIGHT_

_WAIT FOR MY SIGNAL_

The cop answers Sam with a heavy accent: "No! We just arrived here! But if you knew the person staying in this room, you should stay for questioning!"

Steve folds the paper and put it on his pocket with her phone. He then makes his way to the storage space to grab Natasha´s things. Luckily she isn´t like Tony Stark, and her thing are still inside her bag so he picks it up and makes his way to the door. The cop has his back to him since he is speaking to Sam, who occasionally glances at Steve to see what he is doing.

Sam sees Steve coming their way and replies to the cop to get his attention: "Sure! Anything we can do to help! We are staying on this floor too if you need to talk to us, room 306."

Steve sneaks out and makes his way to their room and the end of the hallway. When he goes in Sam continues: "I´m sorry to have bothered you officer. Have a good night." Sam makes his way to their room.

The police officer nods to Sam and then turns around to look inside the room. He wonders where the other man had gone to. He looks around the room suspicioly but finds nothing. So he shrugs his shoulders, goes back to the front door, closing it, and remains on his previous place, guarding the crime scene.

When Sam enters the room he says to Steve: "You are spending too much time with the spy, man. You´re sneaky, soldier!"

Steve looks at Sam, a half-smile on his face: "Yes, but I had help, thanks for distracting that officer."

"So, have you found anything?" Sam eagerly asks.

Steve hands the paper to Sam. Sam reads the note and says: "She is smart! KGB probably came here to get her, she put up a fight to cover the fact that she wanted to be caught and now she is in. Damn, she is good!"

"Yes, that sounds like the Black Widow´s style." Steve has seen Natasha take that course of action before, but never to get inside a dangerous place like KGB. He takes a deep breath and continues: "But I don´t know Sam, KGB is not an ordinary security agency. They are rough, especially with traitors, they will torture her. Maybe we should go and rescue her before anything bad happens."

Sam looks at Steve with a puzzled expression on his face: "What! Are you serious? Steve, she is not a damsel in distress, she is a master assassin! Did you see the size of those guys on her room´s floor? She can handle it. And besides, if we went in kicking the front door of KGB´s headquarters, we have a high chance of getting caught too. Who would help her then?"

Steve knows that was a bad plan, but he can´t just wait until midnight. He can´t stand the thought of anyone hurting Natasha or doing worse. He sits at the edge of his bed, stares at the floor and rubs his fingers against his temple.

Sam notices the distress of his friend, Steve is so bad at hiding his emotions and Sam knows him well enough to know what is bothering him: "Look Steve, you can´t let your feeling for her get in the way of the mission."

Steve looks up at Sam in disbelieve. He was about to say something but he just gives up, because he knows Sam is right. So he looks back at floor and let out an exasperation breath.

Sam taps him on the shoulder and says with a smile on his face: "Don´t worry, I´m sure she knows what she is doing." Steve doesn´t move he just keep staring blankly at the floor, so Sam continues: "Look, if she is not out of there by 01:00 a.m., we go in, but until then you should trust her instincts, she is your partner after all."

Steve now looks up at Sam and replies sadly: "Yes, I know."

"And if we want to help, we should get out of here before the cops come questioning us. We don´t wanna get stuck inside the Russian police department trying to explain everything." Sam says as he turns around and starts to gather his thing to put in his bag.

Steve knows that he is not thinking straight and that Sam got more reason than him at this moment, so he just tries to shake the bad thoughts from his mind, stands up and starts packing his things too.


	15. Falling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just an observation that the lines spoken in Russian are in Italic.

**Russia – Moscow**

Natasha wakes up abruptly when she feels the ice-cold water that hits her head and flows down her body. As an instinct, she gasps for air and tries to wipe her face with her hands, but she can´t because they are tied up behind the chair she is sitting. She shakes her head and blinks a few times to get the water out of her eyes and when she manages to open them, her vision is blurry but she can see the silhouette of a man standing in front of her.

The man puts the empty bucket he is holding down and speaks in Russian: " _Natalia Alianovna Romanova, welcome back."_

Natasha squints and her eyes start to focus again. She can now see the man in front of her. He is a tall and lean old man with grey short hair, straight nose and thin lips. He is wearing a black suit and his arms are crossed on his chest. She wonders why he looks so familiar to her and then she remembers: " _Boris Bykov?"_

The man smirks and replies: " _I´m impressed, you have a good memory Natalia. I was just a rookie agent when you were already the Black Widow. But now, it´s director Bykov."_

Bykov pulls a chair in front of Natasha and sits very close, staring at her: " _When I heard that the Black Widow was back in Russia, I had to come and see it for myself. You haven´t changed a bit, you still look young and beautiful. Too bad they had to shut down the Black Widow operation when too many subjects died after getting injected with the serum. If they had perfected it, I would gladly accept an extension to my lifespan too."_  He reaches a hand to touch her cheek, rubbing his fingers against it and continues:  _"You´re are unique Natalia, the only one that survived the effects of the serum, the one and only Black Widow. I wonder whose lies you are telling now that your precious S.H.I.E.L.D. is gone."_

Natasha turns her face away from his touch, his words cut deep into her soul, so she says bitterly in her native tongue:  _"I´m not getting back to KGB if that is what you want, Bykov."_

Bykov rises from his sit making his way to a metal table on the center of the room as he speaks:  _"Too bad. But I still need to know what brings you back to your homeland."_  He looks down at many types of torture tools that are on the table and grabs a stun gun. He continues:  _"I know that it´s not an easy task to get information out of you, so let´s go up a notch on the interrogation tactics."_  He turns around and tests the stun gun in front of Natasha; it sparks with electricity as he says:  _"So, do you want to tell me something or shall I test this on your wet body?"_

Natasha gets chills down her spine, she knows that getting electrocuted while wet is not only hurtful, but it is dangerous too. Despite that she keeps her calm expression and replies:  _"I missed the local cuisine."_

Bykov gives her a half-smile and presses the trigger of the stun gun, touching it on her chest.

Natasha grits her teeth and feels an excruciating pain as all her muscles contract at once, but she doesn´t make a sound.

When Bykov pulls away the stun gun, Natasha´s head falls forward and she grimaces. She has a hard time to focus her mind so she closes her eyes tight and tries to concentrate. She takes shallow breaths. She feels that her muscles are not quite responding and her heart is beating faster than normal.

Bysov paces in front of her and says in a calm voice:  _"So Natalia, are you going to tell me what you´re up to?"_

Natasha tries to look up at him, but her muscles are not working properly. She only manages to lightly shake her head.

Bykov takes that as a negative answer and presses the stun gun against her abdomen this time, on the right side, near her recent injury which wasn´t fully healed yet. That makes Natasha want to scream at the intense pain, but what comes out of her mouth is only a groan because she can´t even make a sound as the electricity runs through her body.

When Bykov stops, Natasha struggles to stay awake but she feels her mind drifting away, her body going numb and she faints.

Bykov notices that her body relaxed and raises an eyebrow in curiosity saying:  _"The Black Widow I know is not that weak, come on Natalia, don´t play games with me!"_  He grabs her chin pulling it up to look at her face, which was covered by her red hair, and sees that her eyes are closed. He thinks that Natasha is faking being unconscious, so he slaps his hand across her face so hard, that it splits her lower lip, but her head just falls to the side. He lifts up Natasha´s t-shirt where the stun gun touched her and sees the fresh scar on her belly. He puts two fingers against her neck, to check if she isn´t dead, and feels a weak pulse. He snarls and pushes her chair down to the ground in anger.

Natasha´s body falls with the chair, since her wrists and ankles are tied up on it, and there isn´t a hint of reaction from her. So Bykov curses and leaves the room.

* * *

Steve and Sam are on the top of the opposite building from KGB headquarters, as Natasha had instructed. They are suited up, Steve has his shield on his back and Sam has his wings.

Sam is looking at the KGB building with binoculars and Steve is behind him, pacing from side to side.

Sam can hear the soldier pacing and says without turning around: "You´re going to make a hole on the ground, man."

Steve exhales and stops, looking at his wrist watch for the tenth time, he sees that it´s still 10:42 p.m. He feels so useless and anxious that he keeps looking at his watch every passing minute. He curls his hands in fists and wishes that he could just punch something to stop wondering what could be happening to Natasha right now.

Sam takes the binocular down, letting it hang on a line that is around his neck, and rubs his hands together saying: "Wow, what a cold night! I wouldn´t be surprised if it started to snow!"

Steve looks blankly at Sam, he is so nervous and tense that he doesn´t even feel the cold wind that is blowing.

Sam turns around to face Steve and notices that he is far away in his thoughts, so he calls him: "Steve! Are you with me, man?"

Steve blinks and this time he really looks at Sam: "Huh? Sorry, did you say something?"

Sam knows that there is nothing he can say to Steve to make him feel better, he feels distressed with the situation too and so he just shakes his head: "Nevermind" and turns around taking the binocular to his eyes again, inspecting for any suspicious movement on KGB headquarters.

Steve looks at his watch again and this time he taps it to see if it´s working properly because, in his mind, time is passing too slowly.

* * *

Natasha wakes up and looks around. She notices that she is alone in the room. Her body aches all over and she starts shivering because she is still wet and cold. Her mouth is dry so she licks her lips, tasting blood from her cut as she does that. She frowns because she doesn´t remember how that happened. She tries to move from her uncomfortable position, lying on her side, tied to the chair, but a sharp pain on her abdomen reminds her that Bykov had the luck to find a weak spot on her. She wonders how much time she has been out and curses herself for fainting.

Natasha takes a deep breath and tries to control the shivering as she extends her fingers to reach the inside of the waistline from her legging. She manages to grab a knife that she had hidden there before. She cuts the binding on her wrists and then on her ankles. When she is about to get up, she hears someone unlocking the door, so she hides her knife between her fingers and pretends that she is still unconscious, moving back to her previous place.

A man walks in speaking in Russian:  _"Darling, time to wake up, the director in not finished with you yet!"_  He has a bucket of water in his hand and he throws it at Natasha.

Natasha again gasps for air as the ice-cold water hits her. Her eyes open wide and she looks up angrily at the huge man in front of her. He has a smirk on his face and was about to say something, but before he can make a sound, Natasha throws her knife, hitting him on the right eye. There is a dull sound as the man falls dead to the ground.

Natasha gets up quickly, but she stumbles when her head starts to spin. She presses her hand against the nearest wall to balance herself and closes her eyes tight. She feels weak, but she has to get out of there, as fast as she can, so she rubs her eyes and looks at the dead guy, slowly making her way to him and kneeling beside him. She searches his body for anything useful. She grabs a handgun, an access card and his phone, checking the time on it. She sees it´s 11:34 p.m. She lets out a breath of relieve knowing that there is still time for her to do what she came here to do. She hopes that Steve got her message and that he doesn´t try anything stupid before midnight.

Natasha notices that the man is wearing a dark green jacket. She is freezing, so she takes off her wet t-shirt, squeezes her dripping hair with her hands to take out the excess of water and takes off the jacket from the dead man. She puts the jacket on and zips it up. The jacket is oversized on her small frame, so she folds up the sleeves so that her hands are free. She puts the phone and the access card inside the jacket´s pocket and then rubs her hands against her arms, trying to warm up a little before she tries to get up again.

She takes a deep breath to gather what has left of her strength and slowly gets up. When she is steady enough, she makes her way to the door and opens it slightly to take a peek. There is no one around, so she gets out with the handgun on her hand, and drags herself to the end of the hallway. She peeks again and sees the elevator. The way is clear, so she makes a run for it and presses the button to call it. She keeps looking around as she waits for the elevator to arrive, which doesn´t take long. Once inside, she uses the access card to be able to use the elevator and pushes the twelfth floor button, which is the top floor because she knows that the offices always were on the highest floors of the KGB building.

When the elevator stops and opens the door, she peeks again and sees two guards coming her way, so she quickly pulls back and leans on the side wall of the elevator, waiting for them to come with her gun at her hand. But luckily they just pass by and don´t notice her.

Natasha gets out of the elevator and runs the opposite way that the guards went. She stops in front of a large wooden door and uses the access card again to enter the room. She spots a computer on the top of a desk and makes her way to it, closing the door behind her. She sits on the black leather chair in front of the desk and turns on the computer. As she is waiting for the computer to initialize, she gets the phone from her pocket and sends a text to Steve´s phone because she knows she will need a quick way out of there once she hacks into the system.

* * *

Steve is leaning on the railing of the rooftop, looking intensely at KGB headquarters when he feels his phone vibrates. He picks it up from his pocket and reads the text message: 'Are u up there? Is Falcon ready cause I´m gonna need a ride!'

Steve can barely stop himself from smiling. He feels so relieved that Natasha has finally made contact with them that some of tension on his body disappear as he shows the message to Sam.

Sam nods at Steve and watches as he types the reply on his phone: 'Yes, ready to go!'

Steve sends the reply and some seconds later he receives another message saying: 'I´m coming out from the twelfth floor in 5! Catch me!'

Steve eyes go wide and he feels the tension growing on his body again. He mutters: "Oh God."

Sam is beside him and as he finishes reading the message on Steve´s phone he has a serious expression on his face. He goes to the edge of the building and checks his wings, spreading them. He says without looking back at Steve: "Once I get her, wait for us at the car, you´re the designated getaway driver!" He flies off the building.

Steve keeps looking at the KGB building in front of him, counting the floors. When he finds the twelfth floor widows he just stares at it. A few minutes later, he holds his breath as he sees a chair breaking through the window and falling off the building and a few seconds after that, Natasha jumps out. Steve´s heart is racing as he sees Natasha falling, but Sam swiftly flies by and catches her in midair. The alarm of KGB goes off and several guards come running out from the entrance of the building, with guns in their hands, looking around.

Steve quickly turns around and runs to the fire escape stairs, skipping several steps as he climbs down. Once on the ground, he runs as fast as he can to the car. They had parked it a few blocks away. As he turns a corner, their black car comes into view and he sees Sam landing beside it with Natasha in his arms.

Sam puts Natasha down and notices that she kept a hand for support on his shoulder, so he puts a hand on her back and asks her in a worried tone: "Are you okay Natasha?"

"I´ve been better…thanks for the ride, Sam." Natasha answers, meeting his eyes.

Sam replies smiling: "Sure, no problem!"

Then, they hear footsteps approaching. Sam and Natasha look forward to see that Steve is crossing the street to get to them.

Steve stops in front of them and exclaims: "Natasha!" He grabs her waist and pulls her to him, hugging her.

Natasha is too weak to hug him back, so she just leans her body against him in response. That worries Steve so he pulls her back, holding her arms to look at her. He notices that her hair is wet, her face is pale, her eyes look tired, her lips are purple and she has a cut on it. She´s wearing a jacket that definitely don´t belong to her but before he can ask her what happened, Natasha says: "Steve, we gotta get out of here."

Steve still has a worried expression on his face, but he nods at her saying: "Right" and opens the back door of the car for her.

Natasha gets inside and lies down on the back seat of the car. She is getting dizzy again and her energy is drained out after the adrenaline rush she just had, so she just lie still and closes her eyes.

Steve sits on the driver´s seat and Sam goes around the car to sit on the passenger´s seat.

Steve glances at Sam saying: "Nice catch, buddy!"

Sam just smiles at him as Steve quickly drives away.

Sam turns up the heat from the car and then turns around to look at Natasha, he asks: "Natasha are you hurt, do you need a hospital?"

Natasha replies without moving: "No, I´m just…tired."

Sam continues: "Did you get the information we needed?"

Natasha replies with a sleepy voice: "Yeah, got it all in my head."

Steve is far from KGB´s headquarter now and he doesn´t notice anyone following them, so he adjusts the rear-view mirror to check Natasha at the back seat. When he can see her face, he says: "Tasha?"

"Hum?" She replies.

"Do you know where we have to go now?" Steve says looking back at the road.

After a few minutes of silence, Natasha replies softly: "On a road trip to Saint Petersburg."

Sam is looking out the widow, noticing that most of the signs are in Cyrillic alphabet, so he picks up his phone saying: "I´ll put the route on the GPS. I can´t understand a single word on those signs."

Steve nods at him then looks at Natasha through the rear-view mirror again; she hasn´t move and her eyes are still closed: "Tasha, are you sure you´re okay?"

"Yeah, I just need to rest a little bit." Natasha whispers and, in a few minutes, she falls asleep.


	16. Road Trip

It is late night in Russia.

Steve, Sam and Natasha are inside their car, heading to Saint Petersburg.

After driving for almost 3 hours straight, Steve stops at a gas station for fuel.

When Steve turns off the car, Sam, who is on the passenger´s sit, says: "I´m going to fill the tank. Maybe you should check if Romanoff is okay. She slept like a rock back there!" Sam gets out of the car.

Steve turns around and studies Natasha for a while. She is lying on the back seat. She hasn´t moved much since they left Moscow. She is lying on her right side, curled up, with her knees almost touching her chest. Her left arm is resting on the side of her leg and the right one is limp, falling off the sit. Her face is relaxed and her breath is even, she seems to be in deep sleep.

Steve calls her a few times, but nothing happens so he reaches with his hand to lightly shake her arm and as soon as Steve touches her, Natasha´s eyes open briskly and she instinctively grabs Steve´s wrist and twist his arm as she sits up.

Steve feels a sharp pain on his arm and yells: "Ouch! Hey, it´s me!"

Natasha blinks quickly and realizes that she is twisting Steve´s arm. She lets it go immediately, saying: "Oh, I´m so sorry Steve. I…I thought I was still in KGB..." she whispers the last part, almost to herself. Her mind is still fuzzy after all that happened to her and the memories of how she escaped KGB are slowly coming back to her.

Steve rubs his sore arm and replies: "It´s fine. How are you feeling?" He meets her eyes but she is looking right through him.

Natasha stays silent; she is so lost in her thoughts that she doesn´t even notice that Steve is staring at her, waiting for a response. They stay like that for a few minutes until Steve asks in a worried tone: "Natasha? Are you going to tell me what happened when you were inside KGB? What did they do to you?"

Natasha now focus her green eyes on Steve´s blue ones. She nervously bits her lower lip and looks down as she remembers the torture she had endured, it was a hard one, her muscles are still sore from being electrocuted, her mind is not fully focused and she considers herself lucky for being able to gather the energy to leave that place when she did. She doesn´t want to tell Steve the details so she answers coldly: "You don´t wanna know Steve. I´m fine now, okay?"

Steve is not satisfied with that answer, he can see how vulnerable she is now and it makes him wonder what they did to her, so he continues: "That bad, huh. Why are you wearing some guys jacket, what happened to your clothes? Did they try to…to…" he can´t finish his sentence because the thought of those men touching Natasha makes him sick.

Natasha looks up to meet Steve´s eyes and says perplexed: "What? No, no…nothing like that. They threw cold water on me, twice. I was wet and cold so I took the jacket from the guard that I killed before I escaped. My pants are still damp." She touches her black leggings to make her point and continues looking at him: "See?"

Steve looks down at her leggings noticing that they are a little damp and then he looks back at her face, saying a little confused: "But why? Why did they do that?"

Steve can be really determined when he wants to know something and this time he is annoying Natasha with all these questions, so she takes a deep breath before she says in an upset tone: "Because they electrocuted me! Okay? That´s what happened!"

Steve is taken aback for a moment and looks at her in shock. He says loudly: "What! Jesus! Natasha, they electrocuted you after getting you all wet! You could have died!"

Natasha loses her temper completely and yells harshly: "You think I don´t know that! But there wasn´t much I could do at the time. I knew they would torture me in there, but yes, maybe I underestimated them. I didn´t expect that KGB´s director himself would come in to interrogate me and take the torture to another level, but I managed to do what I had to do and got out alive! Mission accomplished! Will you stop with the questions and obvious statements, please?" She stares intensely at Steve and notices the hurtful look that appears on his face. Natasha looks down and lowers her voice to continue: "You know that there are risks every time we go on a mission, you have said it yourself, but I don´t think this is going to work if you´re going to worry that much about me."

Steve furrows his brow in disbelieve: "I worry too much? Then tell me, if it was the other way around and I was the one in danger and you were ordered to stand back, could you just watch and do nothing about it?"

Natasha looks up at him with her poker face on and answers too quickly: "Yes!"

Steve notices that her face twitches slightly when she answers, so he chuckles because he knows that she is lying, so he replies in a bitter tone: "Right, cause you´re so good at following orders."

That comment hurts Natasha so she narrows her eyes in anger, looking at Steve for a moment before looking away out the window.

Steve turns forward to sit up straight on his sit and grabs the steering wheel of the car, trying to calm his nerves down. He hates when Natasha lies to him.

Natasha then opens the back door, gets out of the car, and goes to trunk. She tries to open it, but it is locked. She lets out a breath and yells to Steve: "Can you open the damn trunk, I need my bag!"

Steve pushes a button under the steering wheel to open the trunk for her and then gets out of the car too, turning to Natasha´s direction and watching as she aggressively grabs her bag and then loudly closes the trunk. She then turns around and makes her way to the bathroom in an angry stride, without a single glance in his direction.

Sam, who is making his way back from the cashier of the gas station, notices the way Natasha is walking away so he asks when he is standing beside Steve: "What did you say to her? She looks pissed off."

Steve takes a deep breath and answers in a sarcastic tone: "I guess I worry about her too much."

Sam replies playfully: "Yeah, I noticed that. So is this your first lover´s quarrel?"

Steve looks in disbelieve at Sam, who has a smirk on his face, and says: "Am I that obvious?"

Sam replies: "I had a feeling that there was something between you too since I got here in Russia, especially from the way you´ve been acting around her. I´m sorry to say man, but you´re really bad at hiding things."

Steve lets out an exasperation breath and says sadly: "Yes, I guess I am."

Sam taps Steve on the shoulder: "Don´t worry, wait until you have make up sex. It´s definitely the best part!"

Steve blushes a little and looks down at his feet: "Ah…we haven´t…done that yet."

Sam looks surprised at the soldier: "What! Look, Steve, I know you want it to be special, but in this century you don´t have to be married to have sex with the girl you like."

Steve looks back up at Sam with a shy smile: "Yes I know that Sam. I have thought about it, quite a lot lately to be honest…but we just didn´t have the time for that."

"So, you´re are not nervous to do it with a beautiful and experienced woman like Natasha?" Sam teases him.

Steve gulps with the thought of making a fool of himself in bed with Natasha and replies: "You know, you´re not helping…"

Sam notices Natasha walking back to the car, changed into a skinny jeans, her black boots, a tight red top and a black overcoat, so he interrupts Steve: "Damn, you´re really lucky Steve. That girl´s body is fine! I would be glad to have a piece of that!"

Steve elbows Sam on the ribs for that remark. Sam coughs and puts his hand where Steve hit him. Steve says in a serious tone: "Watch it! She is my girl!"

"Hey, no need to get jealous! I´m just messing with you!" Sam replies trying to smile through the pain he is feeling, he makes a mental note not to tease the super-soldier too much.

As Natasha is making her way back to the car, she notices that the two men are still in their combat suits, Sam has taken off his wings and has a black sports coat over his suit and Steve is still wearing his dark blue Captain America uniform, so she stops in front of them and speaks playfully: "You know, I love men in uniform, but maybe you two should change too."

The two men don´t make a move, they are just staring at her, Sam has a goofy smirk on his face and Steve is giving her a lust look, going up and down her body, so Natasha raises an eyebrow and asks: "What?"

Steve suddenly steps forward and grabs her waist, kissing her hard on the lips.

Natasha is a little surprised by his move and she is still mad at him, so she doesn´t respond at first. But when Steve tightens his grip around her, pressing her body against his, she slowly gives in and kisses him back, letting go of her bag and throwing her arms around his neck to deepen the kiss.

Sam is just watching as his friends make out, with a smile on his face because he knows that Steve wanted to be with Natasha since they fought together in D.C. Maybe even before that. He had no idea for how long Steve had waited for this girl, but now he is very happy that they finally end up together.

Steve breaks the kiss, leaning his forehead against hers, he says softly: "I´m sorry."

"Well, I´m not!" Natasha replies with a playfully smile on her lips before giving him a quick and soft kiss.

Steve chuckles: "That´s not what I meant, I like kissing you too, but I hate when we argue."

Natasha smiles at Steve: "I know, I sorry too. I guess KGB brings out the worst in me." She looks at him for a moment and then continues: "I know that it must´ve been hard for you to wait for me to get out of KGB on my own, but I appreciate that you trusted me to do it."

Steve smiles back at her and says: "I´m glad that you made it." And then hugs her tight.

When they let go of each other, Natasha glances at Sam over Steve´s shoulder and then back at Steve: "I take it that you told Sam about us?"

Steve replies a little embarrassed: "He kind of…found out before I told him."

Natasha gives a half-smile to the soldier: "Oh Steve, you´re hopeless!" She then steps aside to look at Sam, he has a huge smile on his face and he says: "You two look great together! I´m happy for you!" He comes closer and gives a friendly tap on Steve´s arm.

"Thanks Sam, you should be honored cause you´re the first one to know about us." Natasha replies despite of feeling a little exposed.

Steve knows that Natasha doesn´t like to reveal her secrets, so he speaks: "Don´t worry Tasha, Sam is my best friend and he isn't going to tell anyone before we do."

"I wouldn´t dare!" Sam replies quickly, putting his hands up in surrender while looking at the redhead assassin.

Natasha gives Sam a half-smile, pleased with his reply, and then asks: "So, how far are we from Saint Petersburg?"

Steve expression turns serious as he answers: "About 250 miles. What are we going to do there exactly?"

Natasha replies looking at Steve: "A wealthy businessman is throwing a charity event there. The General is on the guest list."

Sam looks at Natasha confused: "So, you think that the Winter Soldier is going to make his move there? In a public place?"

Natasha turns to Sam and responds: "General Basov is a very reserved person, his house is heavily guarded and his agenda is confidential. It´s hard to know when he´s going to be out on work related tasks, and he´s always surrounded by several bodyguards. This event is different though, there is a day and a time to happen, Basov will be more open and the Winter Soldier is an expert sniper, so he doesn´t even need to get too close to kill him. This is a great opportunity for him to get Basov."

Steve knows that Natasha understands better than anyone how the Winter Soldier thinks, especially now that he found out that they trained together at KGB, so Steve has no doubt that Natasha is right and that she is the best person to determine a course of action on this situation, so he asks: "Do you have a plan?"

Natasha looks at Steve and replies: "Yes. Go change. I´ll explain everything on the way."

Steve nods at her then opens the trunk. He throws Sam´s bag at him saying: "Think fast!"

Sam clumsily manages to catch the flying bag and replies: "It´s kinda of hard to do things faster than a super-soldier! You know I´ve tried!"

Steve laughs a little as he grabs his bag. Then they both go to the bathroom to change.

In the meantime, Natasha grabs her phone and decides to call Stark.

Tony answers right away: "Hey, red! What´s up?"

Natasha replies: "Hello Stark, just checking in. How is your mission?"

Tony answers in a conceited tone: "Done and done, it was too easy! What´s taking you so long?"

Natasha says sarcastically: "Well, we had to figure out where to go first, so not a quick task like yours! We are on our way to Saint Petersburg. Our mark is going to be there."

Tony replies: "Huh, still on the run then, I thought you guys would be back in time for dinner, what a shame. We´re going out to a fancy restaurant tonight, Rhodey´s treat!"

Natasha knows that Tony mentioned that to brag about something, so she asks: "Really? What was the bet, Stark?"

Tony says a little surprised: "Ha, the cunning little spy! Nothing goes by you unnoticed! War Machine lost the race back to New York for Iron Man, obviously!"

Natasha rolls her eyes as she answers: "Of course he did…how is the rest of the team? Is everybody back in one piece?"

"Yes, I mean, the elven prince managed to get bit by a dog on his ankle and destroy his bow, how shameful for the elven kind…"Tony starts to laugh and then she can hear Clint shouting on the back: "Not any dog, a freaking adamantium hound, I´m not that slow Tin Man!"

Tony stops laughing and continues to talk to Natasha: "Anyway, funny story! The doctor said he´ll live, so don´t worry!"

Natasha shakes her head, disapproving Tony´s bad timing for jokes and then says: "Okay, so I´ll keep in touch."

"Okay, looking forward for that!" Tony says in a playful tone.

Natasha takes a deep breath and speaks coldly: "Bye, Stark." She hangs up before he can answer.

Steve and Sam are coming back from the bathroom in their ordinary clothes. Steve notices the distressed look on Natasha´s face as she puts her phone back in her pocket, so he asks: "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, fine. I just had a conversation with Stark Smartass." Steve gives her a sympathetic smile and she continues: "They are all back in N.Y., missions accomplished. Now, let´s get our part done too." Natasha enters the car, sitting on the back sit.

Sam put his bag in the trunk and says turning to Steve: "Give me the key, my turn to drive!"

Steve is tired so he gets the key from his pocket and hand it to Sam without a protest.

Sam gets in the driver´s sit.

Steve puts his bag in the trunk too and makes his way to the passenger's sit.

And so, they continue on their late night road trip to Saint Petersburg.

 


	17. Dead or Alive?

**Russia – Saint Petersburg, afternoon**

After getting something to eat and buying new clothes and accessories for their disguise, Steve, Natasha and Sam are scouting the area of the event to find out the possible locations of where the Winter Soldier might be positioned tonight. After they are done, they go to a motel room and start reviewing the plan.

Natasha is sitting on the edge of the double bed with her laptop. She looks up at the two men standing in front of her as she explains everything:"So, I got the names of every guest on the list and made a research. I found out in a social network that this couple here"- she points at a name on the screen of her computer and continues - "is on vacation on a tropical island, so they won´t be able to attend the event. Steve and I are going to pose as them and give their names to enter the event so that we can watch Basov closely. The Winter Soldier is an expert sniper and he prefer to take out his target from afar so he´s not going to be inside, but I´m sure that he isn´t working alone because someone has to warn him when Basov decides to leave. Steve and I will keep an eye for anyone suspicious on the party. Sam, you´re going to stay outside and look for the Winter Soldier on the tall buildings around. If you spot him, wait for us to confront him. Don´t try dealing with him alone, you saw how dangerous he is."

Sam replies with a smirk: "Okay, so I guess I won´t be drinking expensive champagne tonight."

Natasha looks at Sam and gives him a half-smile: "No, sorry Sam."

Steve has a serious expression on his face, he looks at his wrist watch and speaks: "I think we should start getting ready for the charity event."

Natasha now looks at Steve and replies: "Yes, we don´t wanna get there too late. You can shower first, I´ll take a while in there to get ready."

Steve nods at Natasha and goes in the bathroom to shower.

* * *

After a couple of hours, Sam is already in his combat suit, sitting on a chair looking at his wings that are on the top of the small table by the window. He is checking them to make sure everything is working properly.

Steve is standing on the opposite side of the room. He is wearing a black tuxedo, his hair is meticulously combed and he is looking at himself on the mirror hanging on the wall, trying to figure out how to attach his fake blonde beard to his face. He hears the bathroom door open and turns around to see that Natasha is coming out of the bathroom. His jaw drops at the sight.

Natasha is wearing a sparkling long sleeves black dress that clings to her body, showing off her perfect curves. She is wearing a dark brown wig that is made up in a classy bun. A diamond necklace is hanging just a little above her low cleavage, it is a loan from an old friend of her, after all this time, she still has some useful contacts in Russia. Her dark eye shadow makes her green eyes stand out and a red lipstick accentuates her full lips. She notices that Steve is staring up and down at her and give him a teasing smile before asking: "Do you like my outfit Soldier?"

Hearing Natasha´s velvet voice makes Sam look away from his wings to the dressed up beautiful spy and then back to Steve who is now blushing. Sam can´t help but chuckle at how awkward Steve is around women, even when the woman is already his.

Steve looks down embarrassed for a moment: "Hum, yes…you look…" he looks up and meets her eyes to continue: "stunning!" He gives her a shy smile.

Natasha smiles back at Steve and walks to him, her black stilettos making tapping sounds on the floor. She stops in front of Steve and leans in to whisper in his ear: "I love when you look at me like that. You make me feel wanted and special so there is no need to be embarrassed about it!" She pulls away from him and lock her eyes with his.

Steve releases a breath that he didn´t even realized that he was holding and nods at Natasha with a half-smile on his face, feeling a little more relaxed.

Natasha reaches up to fix his bow tie as she says: "You look very handsome." She notices that his smile increases a bit as he replies: "Thank you. But I could use some help with this." Steve holds up his fake beard.

Natasha grabs the beard from his hand and says: "Sure!" She gives a peck on his clean-shaved face before carefully attaching the blonde, short boxed beard to Steve´s face. "There. All done!" She says as she finishes her task.

Steve looks at the mirror examining his new beard and says: "This is really weird, it´s not me at all."

Sam replies looking at Steve: "Well, that´s the point of being in disguise, man!"

Natasha grabs her phone checking the time and looks from Steve to Sam: "Okay, time to go boys!" She puts her phone away on a silver wallet and locks her arm with Steve´s, leading him out of the room.

Sam grabs his wings and follows them to the car that is parked outside.

Steve opens the passenger's door to Natasha, who smiles at him as she enters the car, and then he takes his place on the driver´s seat. Sam gets in the backseat.

The ride to the event is a silent one. Natasha looks out the window absentminded, Sam is playing with his wings and Steve is trying to focus on his driving to dismiss the fact that he is going to meet Bucky again from his mind, which is making him nervous.

When they are a few blocks away from the party, Steve stops the car and turns around to hand his shield over to Sam, saying: "I don´t think I´ll be able to hide that in my tux, will you hold that for me?"

Sam puts the shield in his arm and smiles a little as he replies: "It will be my honor!" He gets out from the back seat saying: "Good luck!" Then he flies off to the top of a tall building.

Steve keeps driving until they are in front of the building where the event has already started. He stops but he doesn´t let go of the stirring wheel and keeps staring ahead, his mind is far away in thought. He is thinking about what might happen if Bucky doesn´t remember him. He is afraid that there might be no way back for his friend. That thought has cost Steve several sleepless nights.

Natasha glances at Steve and notices his tension, so she puts a hand on his arm and he immediately responds to her touch by meeting her cool green eyes with his worried blues ones. Natasha opens her mouth to say something but, a valet opens her door and interrupts their moment. Natasha smiles politely to the valet and gets out of the car. Steve gets out too and extends his hand for Natasha to take it.

They walk to the entrance hand in hand, following Natasha´s plan and get inside the party without trouble. Once inside they notice that the ballroom is decorated with expensive flowers arrangements and is already full of people dressed elegantly. Waiters are serving fancy finger food and champagne to the guest and a soft classical music is playing on the background.

Steve grabs two glasses of champagne and hands one to Natasha. She smiles in gratitude and starts to look around. Steve does the same, trying to find Basov and notices that Natasha is gazing the other way. He follows her gaze and notices a beautiful painting on the wall of several ballerinas dancing. He leans closer to her ear and whispers: "I didn´t know you enjoy art."

Natasha is caught off guard and quickly looks away from the painting to look at Steve who has a smirk on his face. She replies softly: "Sorry, I was just admiring the ballerinas."

"So, you enjoy ballet?" Steve asks surprised.

Natasha looks away from Steve as she spots General Basov walking right behind them and stopping to chat with some nearby guest. She takes her glass to her mouth and whispers to Steve between sips: "There he is."

Steve was about to turn around to look but Natasha puts a hand on his cheek and force him to look at her face. She says with a fake smile on her face: "Don´t look now!"

Steve blushes a little at his lack of discretion and whispers: "Sorry."

"It´s okay, just follow my lead and try to relax a little, or you´ll draw attention to us. Come on." Natasha grabs his hand and leads Steve across the room to sit on the stools of the bar. From there they can watch Basov and not be so obvious about it.

Steve can now see the General, he glances to his direction from time to time.

Natasha spots a man sitting on the other end of the bar. He is alone; he has a hand on his ear and seems to be talking to himself. Natasha gives a half-smile and leans closer to Steve: "I found the insider. Don´t look, but he is to our left, at the end of the bar."

Steve nods at Natasha and says: "Okay, you keep an eye on him and I´ll watch Basov." He quickly glances at Basov to see that he is still talking to the same guests.

After some time of pretending to drink champagne and talking to Steve about nothing in particular, Natasha notices that the insider is giving the signal for the Winter Soldier because Basov is leaving the room.

Sam is outside, on the top of the building from where he sees a light flicker on the opposite building. He gets his binocular to get a closer look and he spots the Winter Soldier on the rooftop, getting his sniper rifle ready. The light he saw flicker was the reflex on the glass of the scope on the gun. Sam activates his com and says: "I found him! He is getting ready at the top of the black building, right across the street!"

Steve hears him and pretends to scratch his beard as he replies on his com that is on his wrist: "Keep your eyes on him! I´m coming!" Steve stands up and looks at Natasha.

Natasha stands in front of him and she eagerly says: "Go, I´ll try to stall Basov to buy you some time! Just be careful!" She puts her hands on his shoulder and kisses Steve softly on the lips. He lightly places his hands on her waist and kisses her back. Then he pulls away giving her a last glance as he leaves.

Natasha walks over to where Basov is standing and spills some of her champagne over Basov´s suit to delay his departure. She pretends to be drunk as she tries to apologize to him in Russian. He gives her an angry look and then turns around to make his way to the bathroom.

Once outside, Steve makes a run to the other side of the street toward the black building. Since they scouted the area earlier, he knows that there´s a fire escape stairs on the alley beside it. He goes upstairs as fast as he can and when he reaches the top of the building, he sees him.

The Winter Soldier is lying with the sniper rifle on his hand, looking through the rifle scope.

Steve pulls his fake beard off his face and walks toward him slowly and before he can say a word, the Winter Soldier suddenly turns around, startled by the sound of Steve´s footsteps. He quickly gets up and speaks surprised: "Captain America!" He starts to walk toward Steve and continues in a threatening tone: "You´re are not my mission this time. You should stay out of my way!"

Steve stops leaving a safe distance between them as he speaks: "Bucky, I came here to talk to you. Please listen to me, you have to stop this. This assassin they´ve turned you into is not who you really are."

The Winter Soldier seems amused by Steve´s remark, he replies sarcastically: "And you know who I am?"

Steve says almost as a plea: "Yes! You´re my friend, James Bucky Barnes! You fought by my side and I´m here to help you remember that you´re a good man!"

The Winter Soldier is annoyed now and replies angrily: "This Bucky, who you speak of, is long gone. I´m the Winter Soldier, and I don´t need your help!" He charges against Steve and they get into a fist fight.

The sky is dark and cloudy, it starts to drizzle.

Sam is watching Steve and the Winter Soldier fighting from the opposite building so he speaks on his com: "Widow, you should join us out here! The Captain is fighting!" Sam picks up Steve´s shield and flies off toward the black building.

Natasha replies: "Copy that!" as she quickly leaves the party.

Steve already got blood coming out from his eyebrow. He is mostly blocking the attacks and is still trying to reason with Bucky: "Stop it Bucky, I not here to kill you, I just want to talk!"

Sam swiftly lands on the top of the black building near Steve and shouts: "Hey Steve! Catch!" He throws Captain America´s shield to him.

Steve grabs his shield just in time to block a punch from the Winter Soldier´s metal arm, which makes a loud noise.

The Winter Soldier gets mad and starts a sequence of punches with his metal arm against Captain America´s shield, the noise from the impact sounds like a bell ringing, and the punches are so strong that they are making Steve back away a few steps.

Before Natasha goes upstairs, she picks a small knife from her bra and quickly tears the bottom of her dress, leaving its length a little above her knees so that she can move more efficiently. She hears the bell-like sounds as she runs up the fire escape staircase.

Steve took too many steps back and he is now on the edge of the building trying not to fall.

Sam screams: "Look out!" and he flies off toward Steve.

Steve is moving his arms forward to try balance himself, but the Winter Soldier gives him a little push saying: "Goodbye Captain!"

When Natasha gets to the top, she sees the Winter Soldier pushing Steve out of the building and all she can do is scream: "Steve!"

Steve disappears from her sight as he falls off the edge, but a few seconds later Sam comes up flying, holding Steve by his armpits and clumsily lands on the top of the building letting go of Steve as he says panting: "Man, you´re heavy!"

The Winter Soldier turns around and snarls, striding toward Sam saying: "Let´s see if this bird can fly without wings!" He grabs both of Sam´s wings, crushing them as he lifts Sam up in the air and swirls him around before throwing him out of the building.

Steve screams: "No! Sam!" He runs to the edge trying to catch Sam, but it´s too late.

Natasha charges against the Winter Soldier and grabs him from behind, putting her legs around his torso and trying to choke him with her arms on his neck. The Winter Soldier is gasping for air but he manages to gather the strength to grab Natasha´s arms and flip her over his head. Natasha groans when she lands hard on her back, but she quickly gets up and hits the Soldier´s face with a high kick. The heel from her shoe does a nasty cut on his cheek.

Steve is looking down, trying to see what happened to Sam when he hears Sam on his com: "I´m okay, I managed to glide to a nearby window, but I´m grounded!"

Steve lets out a breath of relieve and takes his wrist to his mouth to respond: "Glad you´re okay! Don´t worry, we´ve got this!" He turns around and notices that Bucky is speaking with Natasha, but he can´t understand what he is saying because he is speaking in Russian.

The Winter Soldier put his hand on his cheek and then looks at his bloody hand. He meets Natasha´s eyes and says bitterly in Russian:  _"Why are you fighting with Captain America, Natalia?"_

Natasha is surprised by his question and replies in her native tongue:  _"There´s too much evil in this world and I don´t want to be a part of it anymore! I´m going to fight for the good guys for a change, you should try it too."_

The Winter Soldier chuckles:  _"So you´re trying to be a hero? You know there´s no turning back for us, you are living a lie! You will never erase your sins!"_  He runs to Natasha and tries to hit her, but she ducks to avoid his punch and pass her leg under his feet to trip him. He falls down on his back but he quickly sits up and reaches for Natasha´s left tight, pulling the black strap that he spotted as he fell and finding a small gun. He holds the gun up, pointing it to Natasha and, with a smirk on his face, he says:  _"Ah Natalia, you haven´t changed a bit and you never will, no matter how hard you try!"_

Steve is watching the scene and fears for Natasha´s life, so he runs toward the two.

Natasha rolls to the side as the Winter Soldier starts to shoot at her saying angrily: " _This time I´ll get you out of my way, forever!"_

She gets up and runs as fast as she can to take cover, a bullet grazes her right arm so she slides the rest of the way behind a wall.

Steve shouts angrily: "Leave her alone!" and throws his shield, hitting the gun on the Winter Soldier´s hand, making him drop it. Then Steve jumps on him and quickly pins the Soldier down and tries one last appeal: "Come on Bucky, look at me! You´ve gotta remember me! Please!"

The rain is getting heavier and Natasha´s wig is not only wet, but it´s starting to fall on her eyes from all her moving around, so she pulls it off and let her red hair fall to her shoulders. She takes a peek from her hiding place and sees that Steve is struggling to keep the Winter Soldier down and realizes this isn´t going to end well so she yells: "Steve, you have to finish this or you´ll die trying to save him!" He doesn´t answer so she looks around and spots her gun on the ground nearby. She counted how many shot the Winter Soldier fired at her and she knows that there is still one bullet left so she makes a run for her weapon.

The Winter Soldier manages to hit his knee hard on Steve´s gut and gets out of his grip, rolling them to the side. Reversing the positions, he pins Steve to the ground and grabs Steve´s neck with his metal hand. He is choking Steve to dead.

The Winter Soldier looks down at the gasping Steve and says sarcastically: "What´s the matter with you Captain? Are you trying to save every assassin on the world? We are beyond saving, friend!" He says the last word as if he is disgusted by it.

Steve grabs his metal fingers with his hand, but can´t get them off him, he tries to breathe but can´t get the air to his lungs. He feels his throat getting crushed, and he is slowly losing consciousness.

When Natasha reaches her gun, she turns around and sees that Steve is lying nearly unconscious and that the Winter Soldier is getting ready to snap Steve´s neck. No time to hesitate, she knows that she has to finish this now.

Natasha points her gun at the Winter Soldier and mutters: "Forgive me Steve." She shoots the Winter Soldier on the back and the bullet finds his heart. The Soldier lets go off Steve and falls limp to the side.

Steve sits up and coughs a couple of times before he realizes what has happened. He looks from the dead body of his friend beside him to Natasha standing a few feet away still holding her gun up. She is frozen, a single tear rolls down her cheek, but it gets mixed with the rain that is now pouring on them.

Steve panics and kneels beside the body of his friend: "No, no! Bucky! Talk to me!" He tries to find a pulse on his neck and finds nothing. He rests his hands on Bucky´s unmoving chest and lowers his head, sobbing at the body of his dead friend. His blonde hair is dripping on Bucky´s lifeless face.

Natasha slowly lowers her gun and after a few minutes she starts to speak in a raspy voice: "I´m…sorry, Steve! I had to…he was going to kill you…" her voice trails off.

Steve sobbing stops when he hears Natasha´s voice and he looks up at her with his glassy blue eyes for a moment and then looks away because he can´t stand to look at her right now, it pains him even more to do so. He knows that he is still alive thanks to her, but he feels like he is barely breathing due to the heavy weight he has on his chest. No matter what everybody said about Bucky, Steve still had hope that he could come back and be himself again and Natasha just shattered it. The love he feels for Natasha is not enough for him to overcome the disappointment he is feeling, not this time. Realizing that there is nothing else he can do, he stands up; fixes his gaze on the fire escape stairs and walks by Natasha without saying a single word.

Natasha holds her breath as Steve passes her and his indifference as he leaves, makes her realize that she ruined everything. Her eyes follow him as he climbs down the stairs and when she can´t see him anymore, she lets out a shallow breath. She feels like she has a hole on her chest. She falls to her knees and tears flow freely from her eyes. She looks forward and watches as the rain washes away the blood from Bucky´s face, but there is still a pool of blood coming out from his back that even the pouring rain can´t wash.  _"Too much blood, too much red. Can you wipe out that much red?"_ Those words linger on Natasha´s mind and she puts a hand on her mouth to try covering the sobs that are coming out from her chest. She silent prays for a God that she doesn´t even believe in, but she begs to Him for help, for forgiveness. She begs that Steve come back to her because he is the best part of her, and after all that she had been through, she fears that she won´t be able to go on by herself. Who will save her from all the demons she is up against?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song that inspired this chapter: Hurricane by 30 Seconds to Mars


	18. Giving up

Sam is running toward the black building he had been thrown off earlier by the Winter Soldier. He is holding what is left of his wings in his hands. He is all wet from the rain that is still pouring down on this cold night in Saint Petersburg. When he turns the corner to where the fire escape stairs is, he meets Natasha. She just finished climbing down the stairs. He immediately looks up to see if Steve is coming down too, but she is alone. Sam asks in a worried tone: "Natasha! What´s happened? Where is Steve?"

Natasha has a blank expression on her face, her eyes are void of emotions and without looking to Sam, she replies coldly: "Steve left a few minutes ago, after I shot the Winter Soldier." She tenses her jaws for a moment and then meets Sam´s eyes, noticing the quizzical look on his face she elaborates her answer: "He was crushing Steve´s throat with his metal hand, he was going to kill Steve, so I shot the Winter Soldier…and when I shoot, I shoot to kill…so…he´s dead. Bucky is dead." She bits her lower lips nervously and looks away when she feels tears starting to form on her eyes. Natasha holds back her tears and then abruptly starts walking, brushing her shoulder on Sam as she quickly passes by him.

Sam didn´t know Natasha that well but he can tell that she is hiding behind a mask. This mission had gone terribly wrong and Natasha´s actions had cost her greatly. Sam knows that now because he was able to read the spy, a task almost impossible to do. He turns around and follows Natasha in silence.

When they get to their car, Steve is already inside on the driver´s seat.

Natasha opens the back door and seats in silence on the back as Sam gets in the passenger's seat and turns the heat on because he is wet and cold. He looks at Steve and sees that his cut on his eyebrow has already stopped bleeding and it makes him wonder if his Super Soldier abilities makes him more resistant to the cold too or if he just don´t care about it right now because he looks beaten to Sam.

Steve´s blonde hair is damp and clinging to his forehead and his blue eyes are lost. His body is cold but his senses are numb, so he didn´t even remember to turn on the heat of the car. He just keeps staring out the windshield, gazing at the rain drops that are falling against it.

Sam notices that his friends is far away and asks in concern: "Are you okay, man?"

After a brief silence Steve comes back to reality. He keeps staring forward as he replies harshly: "Let´s just get the hell out of this place." He starts the car and makes his way to the airport.

Sam glances at Natasha on the back and notices that she has that same weird blank expression that she had before, he knows she is holding something back, so he thinks:  _"Damn! Natasha is failing to hide her emotions and Steve is cursing, this is really bad…"_ but he decides to remain in silence until he can speak to Steve alone and try to find out from his friend what is going on.

Once on the airport, they go to the bathroom to get changed into their ordinary and dry clothes so that they can make their way to their private jet.

Sam tries to talk to Steve while they are finishing changing in the bathroom: "So, you´re obviously mad at Natasha for shooting The Winter Soldier, but you have to see her side, man. He almost killed you twice tonight! I don´t think there was anything else you could do to save him."

Steve has his back to Sam and is putting his jacket on, he freezes his movement for a moment at his friends remark and then he doesn´t even turn around as he reply coldly: "I don´t want to talk about it Sam. I just want to go home." He finishes fixing his jacket and leaves the bathroom in an angry stride that makes Sam decides that is better not to push him on the matter. So Sam just shakes his head in defeat and goes out after Steve.

Inside the jet, Steve tries to keep the distance from Natasha. So, since she sat on the back of the jet, he goes for the front seat.

Sam stays in the middle seat, trying to decide if he should say something, because the events from tonight´s mission had obviously set them apart, but after Steve´s replies in the bathroom he decides to let it go for now. So when the plane takes off, Sam closes his eyes to take a nap.

After some time flying, Steve tries to do same and closes his eyes, but when he does that, flashes of tonight´s encounter with Bucky insists on occupy his mind. He opens his eyes and rubs his fingers on his temple, letting out a breath of frustration. Steve starts taping his fingers against his armrest and thinks:  _"This is going to be a long flight"_. He starts to wonder why the world seems to be against him. When everything starts to finally get better on his life, it all comes crashing down: Bucky, Peggy, S.H.I.E.L.D and now Natasha. Disappointment is everywhere and there is nothing he can do about it. He thinks that maybe he should have stayed in the ice and saved himself from all the suffering that he had been through since he got out.

Natasha doesn´t even try to get some sleep because she knows her nightmares will definitely haunt her, so she is staring out the small widow, at the dark cloudy sky, but her mind is also far away in thoughts. She is thinking that the silence treatment that Steve is giving her is the worse torture ever. She can handle physical and mind tortures very well, but when it comes to her heart, that´s her weak spot. That is why she never let anyone in, because she knows it would make her weak and she can´t have weaknesses, not in her line of work. She is trying to figure out what she could say or do to make things right again between them, but nothing comes to her mind. As hard as it is for her to accept, she thinks that maybe this is the end of everything: their relationship, their friendship and their partnership. Natasha doesn´t regret shooting Bucky because she saved Steve´s life, her only regret right now is that she wasn´t able to keep her feelings for Steve to herself. She knew that beginning something more with Steve was a mistake because now what she feared has happened, she lost everything.

When they finally land on New York, as soon as the jet comes to a stop, Steve impatiently gets up. Natasha watches as Steve passes by her again without a single glance and walks out of the jet, but this time she can´t take it and quickly gets off the jet too and runs after him shouting: "Steve, wait!"

Steve just keeps walking toward the car that is waiting for them right ahead, ignoring Natasha´s plead, but when he feels her small hand grabs his arm he stops and turns around abruptly. He looks at Natasha with an angry expression on his face and let his rage out on his voice as he speaks out: "I´ve been looking for Bucky all this time and when I find him, your first instinct is to kill him! It´s not your call to make!"

Natasha is taken aback a little but she thinks that is better that Steve is yelling at her then saying nothing at all. Trying to recompose herself from Steve´s outbreak, she replies in a firm voice: "I saved your life! I´m sorry Steve, I wanted to believe that Bucky would get his memory back and be your friend again, but in the end of the day, the simplest explanation is the right one!"

Sam is also out of the jet, but he stopped half-way and is standing in the back, listening to his friends.

Steve just stares at Natasha and sees the suffering in her green eyes, but it will never hide the truth, that she killed Bucky, that she still has an assassin´s nature. He lowers his voice as he says in a bitter tone: "We are defined by the decisions we make. I was willing to die for Bucky and you were willing to kill him."

Now Natasha is annoyed because Steve has touched a nerve, so she raises her voice: "So, I was supposed to let him kill you? This is bullshit! The world needs its heroes, not more broken assassins walking around! If Bucky came back after killing you, how do you think he would feel? Do you honestly think he would forgive himself and have a normal life? That would leave a scar forever! And you know that I know what I´m talking about!"

Steve hisses in frustration. Deciding there is nothing left to say on the matter, he turns around saying in a discouraged tone: "I can´t do this. Goodbye Natasha." He walks away to the opposite direction of the car that is waiting to take them to the Avengers Tower.

Natasha takes a few steps toward Steve´s direction and shouts to his back: "Even if you hate me, I´m glad you´re alive!" She watches Steve´s form walking away and it all sink in. It´s over, she has done too much damage. It is hard for Natasha, but she has to let him go. As Steve disappears into the airport lobby, a few tears escape from her eyes and roll down her cheek.

Sam approaches Natasha from behind and says softly: "Natasha, let´s go. Steve just needs some time to think. He´ll come around." He gently puts a hand on her shoulder.

Natasha wipes her tears away and then turns around to look at Sam.

The sad look on Natasha´s face breaks Sam´s heart. He gestures for her to follow him to the car and she does that with a very glum walk.

Once inside the car, Sam tries to comfort her: "For what is worth, if I was in your place on the top of that black building, I would have done the same thing."

Natasha looks at Sam who is seating beside her and replies with a weak smile: "Thanks, Sam."

When they stop in front of the Avengers Tower, Natasha gets off the car and just contemplates the modern and tall building. Her own words echoes in her mind:  _"The world needs its heroes, not more broken assassins walking around!"_

Tony Stark said once in an interview:  _"The Avengers Tower is the place for the world´s mightiest heroes!",_ but she doesn't feel like that, she never has actually. And right now she feels a lot worse than that, she feels like a demon trying to get inside of a holy place. She fears that she might burst up in flames once she steps inside.

Sam in now holding the front door open for Natasha and notices how lost she looks. He asks: "Natasha? Are you coming?"

Natasha blinks a few times, her mind is stunned at the moment, so when she absent-mindedly looks at Sam, she simply answers: "I need a drink" and before Sam can say anything, she turns around and starts walking down the street.

Meanwhile, in another part of the city, Steve is standing by the East River, looking at the Brooklyn Bridge. He recalls his happy childhood times with his mother and Bucky. But they are just bittersweet memories now. He feels like he has nothing left to lose. He lost all his loved ones and now he is also losing his faith on people and his will to carry Captain America´s shield. He decides that he needs to talk to someone or his mind is going to drive him crazy and there is only person that he can talk to right now, Peggy Carter. He needs to see Peggy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is inspired on the song Say Something by A Great Big World feat. Christina Aguilera


	19. Redemption

It is late night in New York City and Sam Wilson goes inside the Avengers Tower.

Sam is greeted by Jarvis when he enters the elevator: "Mr. Wilson, welcome. Mr. Stark told me that you would be staying with us for a few days, I have a guest room ready for you, sir."

"Thanks Jarvis, but I feel like having a snack, can you take me to the common room first?" Sam had been to the Avengers Tower a couple of times before, when he was helping Steve with his search for Bucky. A part of Sam is glad that that is over, but the other part is sad of how it had to end.

"Of course, sir." Jarvis responds and the elevator starts to move up.

Sam exits the elevator looking down and walks in the common room feeling a little defeated by the events of his last mission. When he raises his head to look around, he sees Tony sitting up from the big gray couch where he was laying on and Clint sitting on a big black armchair staring at the television.

Clint turns his head away from the action movie they were watching on the big screen TV to look at Sam.

Tony also looks at Sam and speaks first: "Hey, Wing Man!" He gets up and walks to Sam and shake hands with him: "Nice to have you here!"

Sam gives a weak smile and says: "Thanks Stark. I´m just glad the mission is over."

"Where is the rest of your team?" Tony asks looking over Sam´s shoulders to see if Natasha and Steve are coming behind him.

Clint notices no one is coming so he gets up too and asks in a worried tone: "Are they okay?"

Sam now looks at Clint and answers: "Yeah, Steve and Natasha are okay. I mean, they are not physically hurt or anything, but…" Sam looks down and trails off.

Tony now has a worried expression too and asks: "But what? What´s happened?"

Sam looks from Tony to Clint, he takes a deep breath and starts explaining everything: "The mission didn't turn out as we expected. We found the Winter Soldier and stopped him from killing the General. The problem is that Steve wanted to get Bucky back to his senses, but the Captain´s words made no effect on him. So we had to fight him. The Winter Soldier tried to kill us all on the process. It got to a point where he was choking Steve to death with his metal arm and Natasha had to shoot him dead to save Steve´s life. The Winter Soldier…Bucky is dead and the worst part is that Steve is blaming Natasha for it."

Clint says concerned: "Shit, that sounds bad!"

Tony starts walking around nervously, then he stops and speaks up in a sarcastic tone: "Ha, the Captain Righteousness! He always wants to make sure everyone comes back alive from a mission and when someone saves him, he gets mad? The Little Red saved him! We should try to put that thought into his thick skull!"

Sam says with a disappoited tone: "Believe me, I´ve tried, but I guess he is confused with the situation, I think he just needs time to get over it. After all he just lost Bucky again, he was like a brother to him."

They just stay silent for a moment until Clint quickly starts to make his way to the elevator: "I going to Natasha´s room and see how she is doing."

Sam speaks as Clint passes by him: "She is not there Barton. Neither of them came back to the Tower." Clint turns around and looks confused at Sam.

Sam continues: "Once we landed in NY, they had an argument at the airport and Steve left us there. Natasha came to the Tower with me but before we got inside she said she needed a drink and walked away. So, none of them are here."

Clint is still looking at Sam and asks in an upset tone: "So where are they?"

Sam just shrugs his shoulders at Clint.

Tony smirks looking from Clint to Sam: "Come on guys, that´s easy to know!" He speaks up: "Jarvis, can you please track Steve and Natasha whereabouts?"

"Yes sir, right away." Jarvis responds. After a few seconds Jarvis speaks again: "Sir, Mr. Rogers is by the East River on Brooklyn."

Tony´s smiles increase a bit by Jarvis response and Sam smiles back at Tony saying: "Well, he said he wanted to go home before we left Russia, I guess that makes sense."

Jarvis continues: "I can´t track Ms. Romanoff, her phone tracking device is disabled." Tony´s smile disappear from his face as he looks at Clint who throws his hands on the air and says disappointed: "Of course it is." Clint makes his way back to the armchair he was before and sits down rubbing his hand on his forehead.

Tony taps his chin with his fingers nervously and then says looking at Clint: "She always does that, doesn´t she? Sorry Legolas, I´m sure she will be fine. Should we go after Capsicle?"

Sam answers: "No, I think he needs sometime alone. I´m sure he won´t do anything stupid."

"Okay…so how about a drink?" Tony says as he walks to the bar and pours himself a glass of whiskey.

"I´ll take a beer" Sam replies and sits on a stool by the bar.

Tony hands him a bottle of beer and asks: "So Wing Man, how are your wings performance, need any upgrades?"

"Yeah, I was going to ask you something like that…" Sam takes a sip from his beer and then continues with a half-smile: "They were working fine until the Winter Soldier crushed them with his hands. The side he gripped with his metal arm is destroyed, I don´t even know if it can be repaired."

Tony was behind the counter taking a sip from his drink and almost chokes on it when he hears Sam´s last words. He cleans up a little of the whisky that fell from his mouth to his chin with the back of his hands and speaks: "Oh, come on! Give me a break! What´s up with you two bird brains?" He looks from Sam to Clint and continues: "If you keep coming back from missions with your gadgets broken, I´ll have to hire an assistant to help me with all the work!"

Sam looks down to his bottle and mutters: "Sorry, Stark."

Clint looks at Tony and says bluntly: "I thought that Jarvis was your assistant."

Tony, with his half full glass on his hand, walks away from the bar toward Clint: "Well, yes! And he is a great one, but sometimes I could use an extra pair of hands, you know? And the last robotic arm that I had wasn´t really smart."

Sam turns his stool around to look at Tony, who is now standing in the middle of the room, and adds: "Well, maybe you should build a whole robot to help you."

Tony turns to face Sam and ponders on his remark for a while before he replies: "That´s not a bad idea, actually."

Clint quickly rises from his sit and exclaims: "Oh no!" He points his finger to Tony and continues looking at Sam: "Don´t give him any crazy ideas Wilson, or we might end up having to face an army of super intelligent robots that are threatening to end humanity, like in The Terminator movie!"

Tony chuckles and adds sarcastically: "Don´t worry Legolas, I will make sure to insert Asimov´s three laws of robotics on its brain!"

Clint has a look of disbelieve on his face and replies looking to Tony: "Oh, yeah, sure! Have you seen I, Robot?"

Tony laughs so hard this time that tears form on his eyes. He manages to say: "I think you´re watching too much TV, Glasseye."

Sam can´t help but laugh a little too.

Clint gets mad, he sits back down on his chair and adds in an upset tone: "Whatever…you should just ask Bruce to help you, he is always with you on the lab anyway."

Tony rubs his eyes with his free hand to wipe the tears away and says to Clint: "Or maybe you should be more careful with your bow, bird brain!"

Clint threatens to rise again and exclaims: "What? It´s like you´ve never damaged your suit before!"

Tony takes a sip from his drink and replies playfully: "Well, I never got bit by a dog while I was on a mission, that´s for sure!"

Sam looks surprised at Clint: "Wait, a dog? A dog broke your bow man? Really?"

Clint looks angrily at Tony: "It was a damn adamantium hound! Adamantium! Do you know what that is, Tin Man?"

"Of course I do! That´s why I would never let it bite me on the ankle or use my bow to take cover!" Tony laughs again and then continues: "You were lucky that it didn´t hit the bone or instead of bandages on your leg you would have a cast!"

Clint lets out an exasperation breath before standing up saying: "I´m going to search the nearby bars to see if I can find Natasha before I shoot an arrow on your ass, Stark."

Tony is taking another sip from his glass as he watches Clint making his way to the elevator. Once Clint turns around to press the button to the lobby, Tony adds: "I wonder how you´re gonna do that without a bow?" Clint has time only to throw him a menacing glance before the elevator doors shut. Clint hears Tony´s faint laugh and only shakes his head in defeat as the elevator descends.

* * *

After walking aimless around Brooklyn neighborhood for some time, Steve decides that he should get back to the tower, take a shower and try to get some rest, because as soon as the first rays of sun hit his window, he will be getting on his bike and making his way to Peggy´s retirement home to see her.

He makes a sign with his hand for a passing cab to stop. He gets in and asks the driver to take him to the Avengers Tower. The cab driver looks suspiciously at him, but doesn´t ask anything and just do as he is told. When they arrive at their destination, Steve pays the driver and thanks him.

Steve steps inside the elevator and hears Jarvis´voice: "Welcome back, Captain."

Steve replies in a down tone: "Thanks Jarvis. Could you please tell the others that I don´t want to be disturbed?" He asks the A.I., knowing that Tony is already aware that he is in the building.

Jarvis responds: "Yes, sir."

Steve goes straight to his room, takes a nice hot shower, put on some comfy clothes, turns out the lights and lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling.

He closes his eyes and tries to get some sleep; he rolls from one side to the other on his bed until Natasha´s face appears on his mind. He opens his eyes again and looks around, but the shadows on his wall seem to keep calling him. So he closes his eyes again and then Bucky´s face keeps appearing on his mind. He goes on like that for some time until he loses track of how long he´s been awake. He gives up sleeping and keeps thinking about their mission on Russia, how it all turned out. He doesn´t know what is right or wrong anymore so he just sits on the edge of his bed trying to figure out what to do. He wonders what Natasha is doing right now, he thinks about going to her room to check on her, but then remembers that there is nothing left to say to her. But just to give him some peace of mind he asks out loud: "Jarvis, is Natasha in her room?"

Jarvis responds immediately: "No, sir. She hasn´t returned to the Tower yet."

Steve feels a chill go down his spine; he asks again a little annoyed: "Then where is she?"

Jarvis replies: "I´m sorry, sir. She disabled her tracking device, I don´t know where she is."

Steve exclaims: "God damn it!" He stands up and starts pacing around the room, afraid that Natasha is going to run away and disappear, like she did last time. He thinks that this is his entire fault because he was the one that pushed her away. He is feeling so confused and angry with this whole situation that he just punches the nearest wall, making a hole on it. He stares at the hole for a moment and then leans his head on the wall, and let fresh tears fall from his eyes.

* * *

Natasha is inside a busy bar, she is sitting by the bar´s counter, in the far end, trying not to call too much attention to herself. She is looking down at her empty glass of vodka, lost in her thoughts, when the bartender passes by her and asks: "Dare I offer you another shot?"

Natasha looks up absentminded, she has already lost count of how many shots she had, she is feeling a little tipsy but she still feel a great sadness inside her. So since she is trying to numb her senses with vodka, she replies: "Yes, please."

The bartender looks a little hesitant and says: "Are you sure? I never saw a woman drink so much vodka and still be able to talk, I´m starting to get worried about you."

Natasha gives the bartender a half-smile and answers: "Well, I´m Russian so don´t worry, I can take care of myself. Now, give me another please." She slides her empty glass on the counter and the bartender grabs it saying: "As you wish." He brings her another glass of straight vodka and Natasha only nods at him in gratitude before she takes another sip, feeling the burning sensation of her drink going down her throat.

Natasha is trying to keep a low profile inside the bar but her red curly hair and curvy figure doesn´t help much because a lot of men had tried to hit on her tonight. So when she notices, out of the corner of her eye, a man approaching and taking a sit on the stool beside her she doesn´t even bother to look at him as she speaks coldly: "Not interested."

But she can feel that the man is still staring at her anyway, so out of curiosity she looks at him and is surprised when she sees Clint Barton with a playful smile on his face. He says: "Wow, you didn´t even give me a chance to introduce myself! I´m Clint Barton, aka Hawkeye, how are you doing?"

The vodka is starting to take the desired effect on Natasha because she can´t help but laugh out loud at Clint´s remark. When she stops laughing she says looking at Clint: "Really Clint! Do you use that lame pick up line on women? That sucks!"

Clint looks a little hurt, but he says with a firm tone: "You would be surprised how many times it works."

"Oh God, really? I would expect that from Stark, but not from you." Natasha says with a huge smile on her face.

Clint chuckles and then replies: "At least I got you to smile a little, huh?" He keeps looking at Natasha with a half-smile.

Natasha´s smile fades as she looks away, back to her glass. Clint continues: "Well, I guess I´m not as good as Steve Rogers, right? So, what´s going on with you two?"

Natasha drinks the rest of the vodka in one single gulp and put the empty glass with a little more strength then she intended back at the counter, making a blunt noise. She is not surprised that Clint is aware that there was something going on between her and Steve, Clint knows her very well, so she just answers still looking at her glass: "Whatever it was, it´s over. It was a mistake."

Clint expression turns serious as he grabs her chin with his hand to make her look at him. He speaks softly: "You love him, don´t you?"

Natasha feels tears starting to form on her eyes so she abruptly pulls away from Clint´s hand and looks back down, whispering: "It doesn´t matter, I totally blew it." She then blinks the tears away and looks up searching for the bartender. When she spots him she raises her glass to him and shouts: "Another, please!"

Clint takes the empty glass from her hand and takes her hand in his, saying: "That´s enough drinking for today. Let´s get out of here, Nat."

Natasha meets Clint´s demanding eyes; she knows he is not asking, he is telling her. She takes a deep breath in defeat because she doesn´t want to argue with Clint too, not tonight. So she decides not to make a scene and do what Clint is telling her, this time. She thinks:  _"The vodka isn´t working anyway…"._  She puts some money on the counter and lets Clint lead her out of the bar and to his red Mustang that is parked nearby.

They get inside and Natasha looks around, impressed with Clint´s car.

Clint notices Natasha´s look and smiles, looking at her: "It´s one of the perks of living with a billionaire. We got nice rides!"

Natasha gives him a half-smile and says: "I guess."

Clint starts the engine and drives away from the bar. They stay silent for a moment.

On his long search through NYC´s bars for Natasha, Clint has been thinking about the events from Natasha´s mission in Russia, and how he could help her get over it. But he only knows what Sam Wilson has told him earlier, so he wants to ask her about it for more details but he doesn´t feel like it is a good time to do it. Until, Clint stops at a red light. He quickly glances to Natasha, because there is a question that just doesn´t get out of his head.

Natasha notices from the corner of her eye that Clint is glancing her way. She looks at him and asks rolling her eyes: "What?"

Clint opens his mouth to speak, but then he stops. Natasha takes a deep breath and says: "Go ahead, ask, I can handle it."

Clint keeps looking at Natasha and then just let it out: "I was wondering what happened with Bucky´s body? I mean, after you shoot him, did you guys just left?"

Natasha bits her lower lip nervously and then answers: "Yes, we left him on the top of the black building in Saint Petersburg."

"Do you think HYDRA or KGB might try to recover his body?" Clint continues.

Natasha chuckle bitterly and replies: "No. We assassins live as ghosts and die as nobodies. His body is probably going to be recovered by the Russian Police and tagged as an indigent." Natasha is puzzled by Clint´s questions: "Why?"

Clint starts to drive again as the red light turns to green. He is looking ahead, but continues speaking: "I was thinking that maybe we should recover his body and bring him back to NY for a proper funeral, on his homeland."

Natasha replies sadly: "That would be extremely hard, it would involve forging papers and getting pass the Russian authorities…I don´t know if it can be done."

Clint quickly glances at Natasha and says: "Well, if anyone can do it, that´s you Nat! I´m sure Steve would appreciate that." He looks back to the road.

Natasha just stares ahead at the road, thinking about what Clint just said. She comes to the conclusion that maybe after all the damage she has done, this might be her only chance for redemption. It is going to be a hard and boring task, but it is the least she could for Steve. She looks astounded at the archer: "You know Clint, that´s a good idea! It might help Steve to at least move on. It´s times like this that reminds me why you´re my best friend." She looks at Clint and smiles.

Clint meets Natasha´s eyes and smile back at her: "Thanks! Anything for you Nat!" He arrives at the Avenger Tower and parks inside the underground garage. He looks back to Natasha: "And count me in, I´m helping you on this one! We can take the Quinjet to get there faster."

Natasha replies as she gets out of the car: "Great! I'll meet you at the roof in 30 minutes. I need a cold shower."

Clint gets out too and laughs: "Yeah, and maybe you should drink some of Stark´s vodkas to avoid having a hangover. You know, just keep yourself drunk!"

Natasha jab his arm lightly as they get inside the elevator: "Ha ha, very funny. I don´t get hangovers."

"Well, lucky you!" Clint smiles at her.

 


	20. Let it Go

After a cold shower to get the vodka out of her system and her head to think straight again, Natasha is in her ordinary clothes and packing her stuff away to leave with Clint back to Russia. She always travels light, but this time she doesn't intend to come back, so she is filling her bigger black bag with all her things. She is trying to listen to her logical side and leave emotions out of her mind right now, which is not very difficult for the Black Widow to do, since she has done this her entire life. So she quickly packs all her belonging from her room in the Avengers Tower and zip her bag closed, picking it up from where it was on the top of her bed.

She looks around her room one more time to check if she isn't forgetting anything and her eyes linger at the sight of the tall NYC buildings that she can see through her window. The city night lights make the view even better. She won't be seeing then anytime soon according to her plans, so she lets go of her bag and walks to stand closer to the window to admire the view one last time. And then her mind wanders away and she recalls that on the first day she arrived at the Avengers Tower, Steve was standing beside her at that same spot. She now wishes that she could see Steve one last time too. Natasha shakes her head slightly trying to get rid of that chain of thoughts because she knows that it too late to make amends with Steve. After his reaction to her killing his best friend, she doesn't think he will ever be able to forgive her and she doesn't have the courage to face him again. So, she satisfies herself with the fact that Steve is alive. The Avengers need their leader and Captain America is still part of this world, and that is all that matter right now. She has too many ghosts following her already, and adding Bucky to the list was easier than having Steve's death on her shoulders, no matter what the cost of that was to her. She loves Steve but she has to let go of her feelings and accept the fact that they can't be together anymore, not as lovers or partners. She wants him to move on and find another person that doesn't make him suffer as she did, so she's leaving for good.

Natasha´s thoughts are interrupted when she feels her phone vibrating in her jeans´ back pocket, so she takes it out and reads Clint's message: "I'm ready when you are."

She quickly sends a message back: "On my way."

Natasha looks back out the window, puts a hand against the cold glass and whispers: "Goodbye Steve." A few tears threaten to fall from her eyes, but before they do, she takes a deep breath and enables the Black Widow mode again. Without any more thinking, she turns around, grabs her bag and leaves the room, without looking back.

She quickly goes inside the elevator and heads to the rooftop where the Quinjet is landed. She enters the Quinjet to find that Clint is already inside, on the pilot's sit, checking the jet navigation systems.

Clint hears Natasha step inside and greets her without taking his eyes out of the computer screen: "Hey, Nat. Feeling better?"

Natasha puts her bag away and sits on the copilot sit beside Clint, with a serious expression on her face. She replies looking out the windshield: "Not really, but let's go anyway."

Clint looks at Natasha and studies her face for moment. He notices that she still looks sad and tries to comfort her: "Don't worry Nat. I'm sure after we manage to do this, everything will be alright again."

Natasha meets Clint's gaze and gives him a weak smile: "You mean if we manage to do this. By the way, I think you should disable the tracking device. I don't want anyone to find out where or what we are trying to do because I don't want to get anyone's hope up, in case we fail. This mission will stay between us for now."

Clint looks back at the computer screen and starts pressing the jet computer's screen as he answers: "Okay, if that is how you want to do this. But I think you should be more optimist about it."

Natasha looks away and replies: "I can't afford to do that Clint. I don't want to cause any more damage than I've already done."

Clint looks back at Natasha: "Nat, you shouldn't..."

Natasha doesn´t want anyone´s pity so she interrupts him, giving Clint an intimidating look: "Clint, let's just go and get this over with."

Clint stares at her for a moment and then gets the message that he should stay quiet for now. So he nods at the redheaded spy and says: "Okay..." Then he starts the jets engine and takes off from the Avengers Tower.

* * *

The sun is starting to rise when Steve leaves his room wearing dark jeans, a plain blue shirt and his brown leather jacket. He heads to the garage of the Avengers Tower, gets on his bike and drives to Peggy's retirement home.

The retirement home is located on the outskirts of the city, so when he arrives there a few hours later, the sun is higher on the sky and the home is open for visitors. He goes in, greets the receptionist politely and then he asks about Peggy´s whereabouts.

The young blonde lady smiles at him, she already knows who he is since he has been there several times before, and so she answers: "She is at the garden taking a morning walk, Mr. Rogers. You can meet her there if you want."

Steve smiles politely at her and then replies: "I will. Thank you." Then he makes his way to the huge garden on the back. As soon as he walks out the double glass doors, he notices for the first time today that the day is sunny, the weather is nice and warm and that there are almost no clouds in the blue sky. It´s a beautiful day, so Steve just stands there for a moment, thinking that he has been through so much stress from the last mission that he almost forgot to appreciate the small things in life, like a simple walk on a sunny day. He looks around and spots Peggy´s back, she is wearing a loose sage casual long dress and her gray hair is made up in a bun. She is walking toward the stone fountain in the middle of the garden.

Steve takes a deep breath, trying to prepare himself to see her reaction of him being alive all over again, and then goes to her. When he is close enough, he slowly puts a hand on her shoulder saying: "Good morning, Peggy!"

Peggy recognizes Steve´s voice, but has a hard time believing it, so she turns around quickly, almost losing her balance, and as soon as she sees Steve´s face, her mouth drops open in surprise and her eyes start to get glassy from tears. She puts a hand to cover her mouth and after a moment she raises her hand to touch Steve´s cheek. She caresses his face and exclaims: "Steve! Oh my god! I thought you´re dead!"

Steve takes her hand away from his face and squeezes it tight. He grimaces a little from seeing her almost crying, and then gives her a weak smile as he replies: "I´m sorry Peggy. I guess I´m late for our dance." He tries really hard not to shed some tears himself when all those memories come to his mind, still so fresh for him and so far away for Peggy.

Peggy smiles back at him and says: "You still look the same, so young and handsome! I´ve missed you so much!" A tear fall from Peggy´s brown eyes.

Steve quickly wipes it away with the back of his free hand and says: "I know! I´ve missed you too. Come on, let´s sit down and I´ll explain everything." He is still holding her hand so he leads her to a stone bench overlooking the fountain. When they sit side by side, Steve patiently explains the whole story of how he survived the plane crash about 70 years ago, how now he is part of a team called the Avengers and that they are still fighting against HYDRA and others menaces that threaten the common people on this planet. Then he starts to talk about his Avengers friends and about how he and Natasha became partners and more recently, lovers.

Peggy just listens carefully to it all and asks something one time or another, but mostly just pay attention to Steve´s words. When he finishes talking about Natasha, Peggy smiles at him and says: "I´m glad that you found her Steve, you deserve to be happy."

Steve looks down for a moment and then replies: "Well, that´s why I came to you, I need to talk to someone about that." He looks back into Peggy´s eyes and continues: "On our last mission, we had some…problems. I still love her but…I don´t know if I can trust her again, so I pushed her away."

Peggy takes his hand and squeezes it a little, never taking her eyes away from his, she says softly: "Tell me what´s happened on your last mission then." She waits, with a serious expression on her face, for Steve to explain the situation.

Steve starts by telling her about their first encounter with the Winter Soldier on D.C. He explains to Peggy that the Winter Soldier was actually Bucky and that, somehow, he was working with HYDRA. He also tells her about his metal arm with a red star draw on it and how he found out later that he was turned into a cold-blooded assassin, trained by KGB several years ago, where they wiped his memory and turned him into a weapon. He then explains how they end up meeting Bucky again on their last mission in Russia and how Natasha shoot Bucky dead when he tried to kill him. He finishes by adding: "Natasha killed Bucky to save my life, I know that, but she knew that Bucky was my friend and she shot to kill him anyway. Her assassin´s instinct scares me, Peggy. I don´t know what to do."

Peggy ponders on his story for a moment then replies in a firm tone: "Her assassin´s instinct has nothing to do with it. I would´ve done the same thing Natasha did, Steve."

Steve looks at her with a hurt expression on his face and then Peggy continues: "From what you told me, that man wasn´t Bucky anymore, you have to understand that. Maybe you wanted to believe that there was still a part of him inside the Winter Soldier, but I don´t think there was. The Bucky I knew died that day on Zola´s train. He died a hero, fighting for his country, Steve."

Steve looks away for a moment and thinks about what Peggy was saying. He actually never saw a hint that Bucky was still in there, in the Winter Soldier, not even when he tried to reason with him. Maybe Peggy was right; maybe he was just too stubborn to admit that Bucky was gone a long time ago. He remembers how Sam tried to tell him that several times, even Tony and Bruce told him that once, before he left for a search mission with Sam, but he wasn´t ready to let go of his hope that maybe he could still save Bucky. And now, when Peggy tells him she would´ve killed the Winter Soldier too, all those words of warning from his friends starts to sink in.

Peggy sees the sadness on Steve´s face and puts a hand on his arm, trying to comfort him. She then says: "I know how hard it is to let go of someone you love, trust me." Steve turns to meet her gaze and realizes that she did lose him, several years ago, but before he can say anything, Peggy continues: "But sometimes we have no choice but to do it, so we can move on with our lives. Otherwise it will only consume you."

Steve replies softly: "I´m trying to do that Peggy, but now, I don´t know if I can face Natasha again. I´m afraid that every time I look at her, I´ll remember that night in Russia…I´ll hear the gun shot that killed Bucky."

Peggy takes her hand away from Steve´s arm and stares at the fountain for a moment. Then she looks at Steve and says: "You still love her, don't you?" Steve nods at her, so she continues: "Then, if it was the other way around, if it was up to you to save her life, would you do it?"

Hearing the familiar words, Steve stares away into nothing in particular, remembering that moment when he and Natasha were taking shelter in Sam Wilson´s house, running away from HYDRA, when Natasha asked him:  _"_ _If it was the other way around, and it was down to me to save your life, and you be honest with me, would you trust me to do it?"_ Natasha looked so frail back then, she was thoughtful and sad. That was the moment when he realized that Natasha wasn´t just a cold spy, she was fighting for something, just like him and so he answered: _"I would now. And I'm always honest."_ Peggy´s voice interrupts his thought when she asks: "Would you kill the Winter Soldier to save her?"

Steve looks back at Peggy and answers firmly: "Yes, I would."

Peggy gives him a half-smile: "Then it´s solved. In time, that night in Russia will only be a distant memory, but Natasha can be so much more than that. Don´t give up on her, Steve."

Steve smiles back at her and replies: "You´re right Peggy, you´re absolutely right!" Steve takes her hand from her lap, giving it a gentle tap as he says: "Thank you."

Steve spends a little more time with Peggy; they talk about ordinary things, having a lighter conversation. Then Steve says his goodbye and leaves, back to the Avengers Tower in NYC.

As soon as he gets back, Steve goes inside the elevator of the Avengers Tower and instead of pressing the button from his room's floor; he presses the one from Natasha's floor. He stops in front of her door and hesitates for a moment before knocking. He waits, but there is no response. So he knocks again, this time harder and nothing happens so fears the worst, that Natasha never came back. He tenses his jaws and then asks out loud: "Jarvis, did Natasha come back to her room?"

The A.I. responds immediately: "Yes sir, she did."

Steve feels relived for a moment, but it doesn't last long because Jarvis continues: "But she left about 28 minutes after she came in."

Steve squeeze his eyes shut, not believing what he was hearing. He opens his eyes again and asks: "Could you please open her door for me Jarvis. It's an emergency."

"Yes sir." Jarvis replies and does as the Captain asked.

Steve quickly walks inside and notices how empty her room looks. He goes to her closet and there isn't a single piece of her clothes in there. He realizes that he is too late. She left like he has feared. He goes to her bathroom and it is like she was never there before. He feels like there is a hole on his chest. He grabs his phone from his jacket´s pocket and tries to call her, but her phone is off. He looks around at her empty room and feels lost. He slowly makes his way out of her room, dragging his feet sadly. He feels broken inside, he wishes he had just one more chance to look into Natasha's eyes and tell her how he was wrong, hold her in his arms, apologize for blaming her and tell her how much she means to him.

When he enters the elevator to go back to his room, he asks: "Jarvis, is there any chance that she enable her tracking device? Do you know where she might be?"

Jarvis responds: "She hasn't enabled her tracking device, sorry sir. But if it helps, she left with Barton at 4:08 a.m. They took the quinjet. That's was the last time I was able to track them, sir. They are both out of my radar."

Steve frowns, wondering why Natasha took the quinjet and left with Barton. At least she is with Clint, that makes him feel a little better because he knows that Clint wouldn't let Natasha do anything stupid. But what scares him the most is that now he has no idea where she might be or if she is ever coming back.

* * *

After forging some documents with the help of some old Russian friends and going through a lot of bureaucracy that took several days to resolve, Natasha and Clint are finally able to leave Russia with Bucky´s body. They also managed to get a place for him to be buried at the Green-Wood cemetery, in Brooklyn, NY.

Now, Clint is getting the jet ready to leave St. Petersburg.

Natasha walks past the closed casket of Bucky and stands at the cockpit entrance saying: "Okay Clint, you´re on your own now. Good luck."

Clint turns around from the pilot seat to look at Natasha surprised: "What?"

Natasha takes a deep breath and replies: "I´m not coming back with you Clint, so this is goodbye."

Clint stands up and stops in front of her, speaking in an angry tone: "Like hell you aren´t! We are a team, remember! The Avengers need you! You can´t just leave! And besides, why the hell we went through all this trouble if you´re planning to stay here? I thought you wanted to make things right with Steve!"

Natasha already expected that kind of reaction from Clint, so she just replies calmly: "Well, I did this so that Steve can move on, I´m not expecting him to forgive me. I don´t think he´ll ever be able to do that, so I can´t be a part of the team anymore. I´m taking some time off."

Clint is now really mad at her for her decision and is almost screaming: "That´s bullshit! You´ll never know if you don´t give him a chance to do it! You have to come back with me!"

Natasha has made up her mind, so she just stares at the archer, not losing her composure as he stares angrily back at her.

Clint lets out a frustration breath and lowers his voice as he speaks again: "Come on Nat! Steve had some time to cool off and think about what´s happened. Maybe he wants to talk to you, and if he really loves you, he´ll be ready to forgive you." Natasha just keeps staring silently at Clint, so he continues: "Do this for me at least! I don´t think I´ll last long on that tower without you around. Living with super heroes can be quite a challenge, you know?" He gives her a half-smile and then looks at her with puppy dog´s eyes: "Please, Nat? Stay for the funeral at least, then if Steve doesn´t say anything to you, if nothing changes between you two, then you can run away or… whatever…I won´t be in your way."

Natasha takes a deep breath then crosses her arms on her chest, saying a little annoyed: "Alright, fine! Just stop looking at me like that!" She then walks past Clint and sits on the copilot´s seat murmuring: "But I still think this is a mistake, Steve won´t forgive me."

Clint is feeling victorious and now has a large smile on his face as he seats on the pilot´s seat beside her, saying: "Wanna bet?"

She replies sarcastically: "No thanks, but maybe you can ask that to Stark when we get there."

Clint laughs and says: "Right! I love seeing his face when he loses a bet! It´s so funny!"

Natasha turns her eyes away from the windshield to give Clint a deadly stare. Clint meets her gaze and then, fearing for his life, quickly looks away, turning his attention to the jet´s control system, saying: "Ooookay, next stop, New York!"

The jet takes off.

* * *

Almost three weeks have passed since Natasha and Clint disappeared and Steve still wasn't able to get a full night of sleep. The dawn was breaking and Steve was sitting on the couch of his room, drawing on his sketch book. Once he finishes his drawing he just looks at it. It is a drawing of Natasha's face; she has that signature smile like she knows it all. Steve's drawing is a flawless work, but no matter how good his drawing is, for Steve it feels like there is something missing. The sparkle on her eyes is missing, so he rips the page off and throws it on the floor where it lands with a dozen of other ripped pages, all with drawings of Natasha that he did during his sleepless night.

He was about to start another drawing when he hears a knock on his door. He puts his pencil and sketchbook aside, stands up and drags his feet to the door, not quite wanting to be disturbed. He opens to find Tony standing there in his pajamas: "Hey Cap! I hope I didn't wake you up, but I got a call from Legolas, in the middle of my beauty sleep, again..." He throws his hands up in the air, annoyed, and noticing Steve's straight face, he clears his throat and continues: "Anyway, he wants us to meet him in a few hours in the Green-Wood cemetery, so get ready."

Steve finally gives some sort of reaction as he frowns and says: "The cemetery? Why? Is Natasha with him?"

Tony says: "I asked him the same questions, but he replied…" Tony continues trying to mimic Clint's voice: "Just be there!"

Steve looks confused at Tony: "Huh, okay. I guess we should check it out at least to know where the hell he has been all this time."

Tony nods: "Yeap, I'll tell Bruce and Thor and then meet you at the common room for breakfast."

"Okay." Steve replies before going back inside his room to change his clothes.

After gathering with the rest of the team and having short discussion over breakfast on what Clint might be up to, Steve and his friends make their way to the cemetery in one of Stark´s black SUV.

When they get there, Steve is walking ahead of his other Avengers friends because he is eager to find out what's this mystery meeting about. He keeps looking around, the cemetery has a park-like landscape with several ponds and monuments, and on a sunny morning like this, it is really beautiful. When he gets to the top of a hill, he spots Clint a few feet ahead. He feels a little bit disappointed when he sees only Clint and Sam there. He was secretly hoping that Natasha would be there too, but apparently not.

He makes his way to them and greets his friends: "Hello, Barton." He shakes hands with the archer and then turns to Sam to do the same: "I didn't expect to meet you here too Sam, can I ask what is going on?" He looks from Sam to Clint expecting an answer.

Sam has a weak smile on his face: "Clint called me. I'm here to support you, my friend." Sam rests a hand on Steve's shoulder.

Steve has a confused look on his face: "Support me? Why?" He looks to Sam.

Clint stands beside Sam and replies looking at Steve: "Just follow me and you'll see." He starts walking father into the cemetery.

Steve looks back at Tony, Bruce and Thor that are now standing behind him, and they have the same confused expression on their faces.

Tony just shrugs his shoulders at Steve and says playfully: "I guess we should follow the Master."

Bruce nods at him and Thor just looks at Tony even more confused, so Tony taps his shoulder lightly saying: "Come on, Blondie." And they all walk past Steve.

Steve turns around and does the same with Sam by his side.

They finally stop in front of an open grave with a brown casket beside it. A priest is standing in front of it. He nods as a greeting to Clint and his friends.

Steve freezes at the scene, he sees the sad expression on their friends faces as they seem to recognize the body inside the opened casket.

Then Tony shoots back a worried glance at his direction and Steve feels a chill go down his spine, fearing that the worst might have happened to Natasha. So he strides to stand beside Tony, in front of the casket too and he is surprised to find Bucky lifeless form in there. It takes all his willpower not to break down in tears as he sees his dead friend, James Buchanan Barnes, dressed in his old US army uniform, his face still bruised from their last encounter, but at least he does not look like the Winter Soldier, not like that. His has a short haircut, similar to what he wore in the past, his metal arm is covered with the jacket from the uniform and lying peacefully in there, it's like all his sins are gone and he is just his old and good friend, Bucky again. He puts a hand on the top of Bucky's cold one and swallows hard, like he has a knot on his throat. When he realizes what Clint has done for him, he tries to blink away the tears that insist on forming on his eyes as he turns around and look at Clint: "Thank you Barton. This really means a lot to me. How did you manage to bring him back home?"

Clint walks to stand beside Steve as he answers: "Well, I came up with the idea that you would like to bury your friend here and have a proper funeral for him, but I'm not the one you should be thanking..." Clint looks to his right at a tree line father away and continues: "Natasha did all the hard work."

Natasha is standing beside a tall tree, watching the scene of the tall blonde soldier talking to her archer friend from afar. She didn't want to come back to NYC, especially to see Steve because she knew it would only make it harder to let all this behind. But Clint had insisted that she came back with him, to share her condolences with Steve, but when they arrived at the cemetery, she lost her courage to face Steve and sneaked out of the way when Clint wasn´t looking. But now, she sees that Hawkeye has spotted her already because she notices that Clint turns his gaze on her direction. She silently curses him, because she was hoping to go unnoticed on this one, but it was too late. Steve had turned his gaze to her as well and when his blue eyes locked on her, everything inside her just melt. She was losing control of her usual composure; her walls are coming down again. She wonders how Steve does that every time, just by looking at her.

When Steve followed Clint's eyes and spotted the redheaded beauty beside a tall tree a little further ahead, he locked his gaze on her. He now feels a kind of relieve just to see Natasha standing there. Afraid that she might disappear on him again, he quickly makes his way to meet her in a determined stride.

As Natasha watches Steve making his way to her, she feels a sudden urge to run away, but instead she takes a deep breath and tries to steady herself, half expecting him to scream at her or something, but as he closes the space between them, she can see that he has a soft expression on his face, not an angry one.

When Steve gets close enough to touch her, he just wants to hug her, but he doesn´t want to make a move like that, afraid he might push her away again, so he just stands in front of her with a small smile on his lips. He says: "Hello Natasha! I'm so glad to see you."

His words penetrate Natasha's soul, she can't believe he said that and she tries really hard to hold back the tears that are forming on her eyes. She doesn't even know how to reply to that, because she had made up her mind that they weren't meant to be together, that Steve would never want to see her again. But now, hearing that he was glad to see her just proofed her wrong. So she just stares at him, frozen in her place.

Steve looks down and carefully takes her hand as he continues: "Thank you for bringing Bucky back." He then looks back up at her face and says: "I'm sorry if I pushed you away, but I know now that you did what you had to do and I was wrong for blaming you. Will you please, forgive me?" He looks expectantly at her green glassy eyes.

She chuckles in disbelief and lets go of his hand as she replies: "Forgive you? There is nothing to forgive you for, Steve. I'm the one that should be asking for forgiveness, but I don't even know how to do that." A single tear rolls down Natasha's cheek but she quickly brushes it away with her hand.

Steve says looking back at his friends standing beside Bucky's casket: "Well, that's a good start." When he meets her eyes again, she is looking at him, thoughtfully. He extends his hand to her and continues: "Will you join us, please?"

And this moment just take all of Natasha's doubts away. She came so close to giving it all up and now she feels like her life has purpose again. She gaze into his pleading blue eyes and release a breath that she didn't even realize that she was holding. She smiles at Steve saying: "Okay."

Steve smiles back at her as she takes his hand. He leads her to sit on a chair beside him, in front of Bucky's casket.

Natasha nods at her other friends, greetings them as they all sit down, Sam on the other side of Steve and the others on chairs behind them.

The priest then says as he open his bible: "Shall we start?" Steve nods at him in response and he starts the sermon for Bucky's funeral.

The whole time, Steve is holding Natasha's hand and he squeezes it tight when he can feel that she is tense. He knows that this must be hard for her too, but every time he looks at her, she just gives him a reassuring smile. That is when he realizes that his strength was in her all along. He feels so much better going through this with Natasha by his side.

After some time, when the priest is done, Steve lets go of Natasha´s hand to stand, and makes his way to Bucky´s casket. He takes one last look at his friend and whispers: "Now, you´re free. Someday, we´ll meet at the end of the line. I´ll miss, brother." He slowly closes the casket and touches it, lowering his head and closing his eyes for a moment as some tears slip away from his eyes.

Natasha can't help it and let a few tears fall from her eyes too, still sitting on her chair, still feeling some guilt over Steve's pain.

Sam rises and puts a hand on Steve's shoulder. When Steve turns around, Sam hugs his friend saying: "I'm sorry Steve. At least now you know that Bucky is resting in peace."

Steve lets go of Sam and reminds himself of how Sam had run around the world with him when they were trying to find Bucky, no matter how senseless his search seemed, so he replies: "Yes. Thank you Sam, for everything."

Sam knows what Steve means, so he nods and smiles a little: "Any time, man. You can count on me."

Clint then comes to stand with them, he hands a folded American flag to Steve saying: "I suppose you want to do the honors."

Steve takes the flag from Clint's hand saying: "I do, thanks Clint." And he turns around to stretch it over Bucky's casket.

Clint, Sam and Steve contemplate the flag over Bucky´s casket for moment and then Clint walks away with Sam beside him.

Then Bruce comes to stand beside Steve and says: "I'm so sorry for your loss." He puts a hand on Steve's arms as Steve looks at him and replies: "Thank you, Banner."

Then Thor comes between them. He gives Steve a bear hug and then holds both Steve arms firmly as he says looking at him: "I am truly sorry. We will be here for you if you need us, Steven."

Steve replies looking at Thor: "Thank you Thor, I appreciate it."

Thor gives him a sad smile, letting go of Steve´s arms, and then he gives Steve a not so light tap on his shoulder, which makes Steve go sideways a little. Steve smiles back awkwardly at the blonde God as he turns around and walks away with Bruce.

Then Tony walks in front of Steve and says: "Capsicle, I´m not good with this sort of thing…I usually have Pepper with me, she is good with words for this kind of moment…but anyway…you know…if you need anything, just let me know."

Steve nods at Tony with a half-smile on his face: "Thanks Stark. Maybe you can stop calling me that?"

Tony narrows his eyes at him and replies: "Huh, nope. I don´t think I can do that, ask me something else."

Steve chuckles and says: "You´re hopeless, Stark."

"Yeah, I know…" Tony gives Steve a quick hug and then walks away too.

Steve then looks back at Natasha, who is still sitting. She is staring at Bucky´s casket thoughtfully.

Steve goes and stands in front of her, blocking her view, which makes her blink a few times and come back to reality. She looks up at Steve and rises from her seat to meet his eyes. She clears her throat, trying to find her voice to say something, which comes out in a husky tone: "I´m sorry Steve. I wish things could have turned out differently but…" Natasha looks down for a moment and bites her lower lip nervously. Then she continues looking at the ground: "…sometimes we have that make hard decisions on our jobs, and…and…I´m sorry." She doesn´t know what else to say.

Steve grabs her chin and gently pulls it up so that she can look at him again. He says softly: "It´s okay Tasha. I know this is difficulty for you too. I forgive you."

Hearing those words from Steve feels like a dream to Natasha, and all the tears she was holding back now start to flow freely down her face. She doesn´t disbelieve how lucky she is and exclaims: "Oh Steve…You´re just too good to be true!" She gets to the tip of her toes to throw her arms around his neck and hugs him.

Steve put his arms around her waist and pulls Natasha closer for a tight embrace. He stays like that for a while, just enjoying the feeling of having her back in his arms, and then he whispers into her hair: "Just promise me that you´ll stay with me this time. I need you beside me because…I love you."

Natasha pulls away a little, just enough to look into his eyes, but keep her hands on his shoulder. She smiles at Steve and says softly: "I love you too, Steve. And I promise I´m not running from you ever again. We´ll get through this, together!"

Steve is still holding her as he smiles back at her: "Good! Because I can´t image my life without you in it, not anymore." Their faces are very close, so he just leans his head a little bit and his lips meets hers with a soft and gentle kiss.

Natasha in response slides her hands from his shoulders to the back of his neck as she deepens the kiss.

In the meantime, the rest of the team is slowly making their way out of the cemetery until Tony breaks the silence: "So, who´s up for a Shawarma?"

Thor is the first to answer: "I´m famished. I am up for the invitation!"

Clint says looking at Thor: "Well, that´s not a surprise…but I guess I could eat too. I had an early breakfast today."

Tony, still walking beside his friends, looks at Bruce and Sam: "What about you guys? Hungry?"

Bruce simple says: "Yes, sure, let´s go."

Sam looks at Tony: "I´ll agree to that as soon as someone explains to me what a Shawarma is."

Tony explains enthusiastically about the Shawarma for Sam, who agrees to try it. Then Tony says: "Okay, let´s just wait for the two oldies to catch up…" he turns around and stops walking abruptly, poking Clint arms as he passes by him to call his attention: "Hey Legolas, look at that!"

Clint turns around and follow Tony´s gaze. He sees Steve and Natasha in a deep, passionate kiss, still beside Bucky´s casket. He can´t help but smile at scene.

Tony starts jumping up and down laughing like a little kid, which make the others also stop and turn around to see what the fuss is all about.

Bruce speaks as he watches his two friends kissing: "It is about time those two admitted they had feelings for each other!"

Thor has a broad smile on his face: "I agree!"

Sam chuckles at Bruce´s remark, remembering that he was the only one who knew about Steve and Natasha, but he keeps that to himself.

Tony turns to Clint and exclaims: "I knew it! You lost your bet Legolas! They´re kissing, look!" He points at Steve and Natasha.

"Yeah, I can see them Stark." Clint replies in steady tone.

Tony narrows his eyes at Clint suspiciously: "You already knew about them, didn´t you?"

Clint shrugs at Tony and the billionaire, who continues looking at Clint with disbelieve, says: "Well, you own me 100 bucks….but just out of curiosity, how long have you know?"

Clint smiles in a mischievous way at Tony as he replies: "Since that time we were at Singapore´s hospital."

Tony is surprised: "What? Did the Little Red told you?"

Clint replies: "No, but I had my suspicious, and I knew that Natasha wouldn't let everybody find out about them that easily, so I took the bet just to see the look on your face when you thought you lost."

"You lying bastard!" Tony punches Clint´s arm.

Clint has a pain expression on his face as he says: "Ouch! That hurts!"

"It was supposed to hurt!" Tony replies harshly.

Steve and Natasha break the kiss and start to walk, hand in hand, toward the others. Natasha notices how everybody is looking back at them, so she says: "Well, I guess the secret is out."

Steve gives Natasha a half-smile and replies: "I´m sort of relieved because you know how bad I am at lying. I don´t think I would be able to hide it much longer anyway."

Natasha agrees in a playfully tone: "Yeah, I guess not."

When they reach their friends, they all have smiles on their faces, except for Tony and Clint who are glaring angrily at each other. Tony continues in an upset tone: "To make things even, I think you should pay for lunch!"

Clint furrows his brow and speaks: "What! No way!" He notices that Natasha and Steve are now standing in front of them with a confused look on their faces, but he ignores them and continues, gesturing in Steve´s direction: "Not with a Super Soldier…" he then points to Thor: "and a freaking Norse God on the group! They´ll probably eat the whole Shawarma stock!"

Natasha figures out what is going on and interrupts: "So, Shawarma for lunch? That sounds like a good idea."

Tony looks at Natasha and says in an upbeat tone: "Yeap! My idea! And the best part is that Clint is paying! Come on guys let´s go!" Tony quickly walks away, leaving an angry Clint talking behind him: "I´m not paying anything! Tin Man! Get back here!" He runs after Tony.

Bruce has a shy smile on his face; he looks around at his remaining friends and adds: "I guess everything is back to normal."

They all nod in agreement, except for Thor who says in his booming voice: "Well, now we also have a happy couple on the team!"

Bruce says looking at Steve and Natasha holding hands: "Yeah, that´s good news!"

Thor continues, looking at Steve and Natasha: "I am glad for you, my friends!"

Steve replies looking at Thor then at Bruce: "Thanks."

Sam is looking on the other direction, where Clint is now jumping on Tony´s back, making him fall to the ground. So he quickly says: "Maybe we should go before those two kill each other!"

They all follow Sam´s gaze and without another word, everybody quickly make their way to reach Clint and Tony, who is now trying to poke Clint on the eye as he screams at him senseless and Clint is trying to pin Tony down to the ground as he dodges his attacks.

Somethings don´t ever change.

**THE END**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, that´s it! I know that if my writing skills in English were better, the story would be much easier to read, but I guess that for my first fan fiction it turned out okay.
> 
> I had a really great time writing it and reading your feedback, so thanks for all the reviews!
> 
> Now I can´t wait to watch Age of Ultron to see if maybe the movie inspires me to keep writing. I´ll probably tend to pair Steve and Natasha because I love romanogers fanfics, so I´m just hoping they don´t ruin it all on the next Avengers movie. Fingers crossed!
> 
> Song that inspired this chapter: Let Me Go by Avril Lavigne feat. Chad Kroeger
> 
> See you! Bye!


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